I think about your value, you're in the TOP 1 000 000 of the best Chinese people, so you can't be e a truecel and have to have more self-confidence. (你真棒,就要多点自信。)
And as a responsible administrator, let me tell you that I edit your "anti-Party" statement because most of us DO LIVE IN CHINA and we don't want this forum to be banned in China (we're poor and we don't spend money for VPNs).
Also, it's not wise and safe to shout everywhere online "I am anti-!" What you will gain from it? Only problems. Avoid the politics, at least until you live in China, and focus on your self-development.