Sure but it'll be fast.
1. "Elongate".
The next good example how bad is his English (but thinks that others have Englsh laguage probems because of his psychopathological projection).
A short explanation for the English languagemaxx-ers: Well, "elongate", as a verb, means to make (something) longer, especially unusually so in relation to its width. If you are talking about time you are using another verb -- "prolong".
2. Of course he likes and even admires our simple cooking. Recently we have no time for cooking more special dishes and we prepare comparatively simple ones. But for him, who even didn't know how to boil tea at home (and chose to buy bottled tea for his diet-maxx and gym-maxx!), a simple soup or something similar is the top of the culinary.
3. About the "Tiger time", he just tries to rationalize (psycholgically speaking) his epic fail about the clock, which in his poor brain was "countdown timer", and about the "Tiger" beer's slogan ("It's Tiger Time!") which in his poor brain was supposed to be some gambling related to fights with tigers. So now he tries to somehow ironize it, to make others to forget about it because it's too humiliating for his IQ, his ability to perceive the reality adequately and for his general knowledge (education).
Of course, I will be not surprised if this is also something bisexualism related too. Who is that straight male who will care so much about the prolonged "T!ger time" of another male? Usually the homosexual and bisexual males.
4. About the philosophy ("philosopher"), he wants to be one but he can't. He is a failure. Couldn't start to study his favorite psychometrics, now can't learn well Japanese and tries to learn some engineering but still remains a loser.