[MSL]

My will...
All you all know me from before as a very happy person, positive supporting and funny person as well who is always ready to help you, every time ready to play with you, to study with you, to teach you and to do some sports with you. And there were people who will always understand me but now I have to feel guilty even because I got a little fever. There is no one who is going to understand me, to hug me, to say some sweet words or, at least to say, "I'm sorry", "Thank you" and so on. Only coldness, lack of support, feeling like a frozen heart, no empathy, no anything like "I know how you feel",... nothing like this. No matter how I suffer there isn't this one who will give me a little warmth, a little sympathy. And that's why often, I want to lay down, to fall asleep and never wake up again. I hope this little dream of mine can come true because I can't enjoy this life at all. Please, if you want to receive my will let me know I will give everything to anybody, but not my father.

[Aquonut]

My will...
All you all know me from before as a very happy person, positive supporting and funny person as well who is always ready to help you, every time ready to play with you, to study with you, to teach you and to do some sports with you. And there were people who will always understand me but now I have to feel guilty even because I got a little fever. There is no one who is going to understand me, to hug me, to say some sweet words or, at least to say, "I'm sorry", "Thank you" and so on. Only coldness, lack of support, feeling like a frozen heart, no empathy, no anything like "I know how you feel",... nothing like this. No matter how I suffer there isn't this one who will give me a little warmth, a little sympathy. And that's why often, I want to lay down, to fall asleep and never wake up again. I hope this little dream of mine can come true because I can't enjoy this life at all. Please, if you want to receive my will let me know I will give everything to anybody, but not my father.

of course! I am there for you! I am sorry to reply this post this lately . Yeah the weather has begun to be sucking and be cautioned against the drastic coldenness of the temperature . It's very easy to run a fever. Are you well these days, since the weather has again decreased significantly? The tempature is like 3°C - 17°C where I am living now(Yeah due to the low efficacy of working of the Chinese government, I can only achieve the compensative fee for the demolition of my original house like the end of this month in the best case or in March in the worst case.
I am really missing Shanghai tbh (. You can only enjoy a low life quality in the place where I am living. I can't even ask for food delivery here. 
Back to the story, as the best remedy for fever or cold, drinking water is always what you must do all along the way when you are running a fever or having a cold, but of course with adequate countemeasures against the low temperature.

Anyway, keep cautioned against the low tempature and potiential colds and even fevers...

[Деси]

No, in fact he's in South-East Asia where is warm. There the temperatures aren't reason for some fever just the viruses (from travelers or locals)... The problem is that his father wants to give everything to his lover (the OP's mother passed away long time ago) and that the OP has no problem to find a woman but has problem to achieve the real love, and a local tries to cheat him which may lead to dealing with the police and court issues. Too much stress for a materialistic scientific philosopher and a sensitive poet like him... Just clearing up a bit.

[Деси]

Here is a translate to his words in another thread:

В един от най-тежките моменти на живота ми (когато видях, че обещанията на баща ми за наследството ми не чинят пукнат грош и иска да го подари на приятелката си; когато един камбоджанец взе от мен над 100 долара и си намира извинения да не ги върне; когато всякакви други невървежи се случват и в новата държава след ужасните психически травми понесени в неофеодализирания Китай на некадърния автократ Си) получих снощи тъжната вест за починалата баба Маргарита.

TRANSLATED VIA GOOGLE TRANSLATE: In one of the worst moments of my life (when I saw that my father's promises about my inheritance were worthless and he wanted to give it to his girlfriend; when a Cambodian man took over $100 from me and made excuses not to bring them back; when all sorts of other disturbances are also happening in the new country after the terrible mental traumas suffered in the neo-feudalized China of the incompetent autocrat Xi) I received last night the sad news of the deceased grandmother Margarita.

[MSL]

 Oh, thank you very much for the answer, but let me first clarify some points.

 1. About the "guilty" for getting fever it was a little quarrel at home with a Chinese female person who sometimes lacks of empathy. It was a short time fever, probably I caught a cold virus (some rhinovirus) from a tourist who was from some northern country. In SEA the things like flu, fever, cold, etc. aren't a big problem.
 2. The situation with my father's decision really sucks because even I'm not the poorest now, it was in fair I to inherit my father's property not a person who is even not our relative; my father lied to me that I will get it, I even started to make some plans to start some book business or scientific one but... all I can do now is to think of boring food businesses...
 3. Most of the people in SEA, including the Cambodians, are okay, even very friendly and polite (generally) but my bad luck... I just met an irresponsible, having problems with the alcohol, one (I didn't know it at the beginning) who was in charge of my new little business and I decided to lend him $100+ but... now still searching a normal way to deal with his debt. He is avoiding me recently but I keep searching him and trying to get back my money or at least some product that he can give me for this sum (like ads, for instance)... I hate to give money for nothing. Who likes it?
 4. Yes, here I have some problems (like difficulties with finding a good house to rent, especially in the town where we're now or too much dust on the streets) but here is way better than in Xi's China (what I call "Xina"):
 a) Free internet (you can access without restrictions Wikipedia, YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, etc.)
 b) Easy to find legal job (work visas). Easy to start own business.
 c) Cheaper (most of the prices are low or affordable).
 d) Here you can see/meet so many nationalists and brainwashed people; no incompetent leader like the neo-emperor (dictator/autocrat) Xi in the neo-feudal China.
 e) No cold winters. Even in January it's between 20-30 degrees C. No typhoons (or tornadoes), no volcanoes, no earthquakes. Pretty nature.
 f) Easier to find a girlfriend and/or wife (if you're not very, very poor).
 g) More stable economy, politics and better relationships with the neighbors (almost no chances for wars, peaceful government.)
 ---
 Yes, I was one of those who predicted that you'll minn yourself in the West and even in Shanghai you'll have more chances to attract a girl... but, at least, don't forget that being in the neo-feudal China now isn't safe (and isn't a pleasure too) -- you may be arrested just because you criticize the neo-emperor (autocrat), you can be mobilized to fight against your brothers and sisters in Taiwan or against some similar, related Asian people (like these in the Philippines), you are just a Nobody there. Respect your freedom and dignity. Chinese don't deserve to be voiceless and rightless (deprived of rights) but that stupid and abnormal criminal made them exactly like that!

[Aquonut]

Oh, thank you very much for the answer, but let me first clarify some points.

 1. About the "guilty" for getting fever it was a little quarrel at home with a Chinese female person who sometimes lacks of empathy. It was a short time fever, probably I caught a cold virus (some rhinovirus) from a tourist who was from some northern country. In SEA the things like flu, fever, cold, etc. aren't a big problem.
 2. The situation with my father's decision really sucks because even I'm not the poorest now, it was in fair I to inherit my father's property not a person who is even not our relative; my father lied to me that I will get it, I even started to make some plans to start some book business or scientific one but... all I can do now is to think of boring food businesses...
 3. Most of the people in SEA, including the Cambodians, are okay, even very friendly and polite (generally) but my bad luck... I just met an irresponsible, having problems with the alcohol, one (I didn't know it at the beginning) who was in charge of my new little business and I decided to lend him $100+ but... now still searching a normal way to deal with his debt. He is avoiding me recently but I keep searching him and trying to get back my money or at least some product that he can give me for this sum (like ads, for instance)... I hate to give money for nothing. Who likes it?
 4. Yes, here I have some problems (like difficulties with finding a good house to rent, especially in the town where we're now or too much dust on the streets) but here is way better than in Xi's China (what I call "Xina"):
 a) Free internet (you can access without restrictions Wikipedia, YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, etc.)
 b) Easy to find legal job (work visas). Easy to start own business.
 c) Cheaper (most of the prices are low or affordable).
 d) Here you can see/meet so many nationalists and brainwashed people; no incompetent leader like the neo-emperor (dictator/autocrat) Xi in the neo-feudal China.
 e) No cold winters. Even in January it's between 20-30 degrees C. No typhoons (or tornadoes), no volcanoes, no earthquakes. Pretty nature.
 f) Easier to find a girlfriend and/or wife (if you're not very, very poor).
 g) More stable economy, politics and better relationships with the neighbors (almost no chances for wars, peaceful government.)
 ---
 Yes, I was one of those who predicted that you'll minn yourself in the West and even in Shanghai you'll have more chances to attract a girl... but, at least, don't forget that being in the neo-feudal China now isn't safe (and isn't a pleasure too) -- you may be arrested just because you criticize the neo-emperor (autocrat), you can be mobilized to fight against your brothers and sisters in Taiwan or against some similar, related Asian people (like these in the Philippines), you are just a Nobody there. Respect your freedom and dignity. Chinese don't deserve to be voiceless and rightless (deprived of rights) but that stupid and abnormal criminal made them exactly like that!

Oh, glad to hear you are living a good life in SEA in spite of having got deceived by your father... But whom will he leave his legacy to? I mean since you don't have brothers or sisters, the legacy will be possessed by you, if your father has not planned to give it to other people.
And yeah China is very terrible now, I mean terrible in everything like economy, politics, education, etc.... The only way out is to immigrate... But the saddest thing is that the majority of Chineses can not even immigrate... because of their inadequacies of money.
One of my favourite youtubers is Mr.Shen. His prediction of the future of China makes a lot of sense to me... There will be big turmoils in China within years. Look how chaotic China was during the Warlords Melee...
Btw, since you are living in the SEA now. If you want to, I am glad to see you visit 'samghārāmas' there. You may get interested in Buddhism to get lots of benefits from it

[MSL]

 He wants to donate it to his lover so I can't inherit it.
 About China, once there is an incapable, crazy and shortsighted neomonarch, the predictions can't be optimistic.
 About the religions, usually people only spend time and money for them (the monks, the owners, pastors, etc) and waste the opportunity to spend this time and money for something better like sports, doing business, learning real knowledge (science, not myths). As a science oriented philosopher I do not follow any religious cults, myths, sects, etc.

[Aquonut]

He wants to donate it to his lover so I can't inherit it.
 About China, once there is an incapable, crazy and shortsighted neomonarch, the predictions can't be optimistic.
 About the religions, usually people only spend time and money for them (the monks, the owners, pastors, etc) and waste the opportunity to spend this time and money for something better like sports, doing business, learning real knowledge (science, not myths). As a science oriented philosopher I do not follow any religious cults, myths, sects, etc.

Yeah can relate, but still I think you should learn some Buddhism philosophy to improve your mindset, not saying that you should be saying prayer to ask for Buddha to get you to the Sukhāvatī or else.

[MSL]

 When I was younger I learned a lot about the Buddhism. I had books about Buddha (the prince), about the Tibetan Buddhism about the Japanese Zen, etc. Later in the University I learned about Buddhism in two courses (the Easthern Philosophy and the religious one). I was a Buddhist for many years. So this "path" is already a past for me. I dislike the mindset which is usually like "Well, it's Karma, be good and in the next life, everything will be alright." It's, like every religion, just like opium. You may feel better, you may imagine you're better and you may avoid many conflicts but... at the end of the day, you should be a realistic person who is science and fact oriented not who is "sleeping" in dogmas. Maybe for some actor or a businessman becoming a Buddhist is alright but for me? The Philosopher-anthropologist (Master's degree) + writer and poet + a sportsman + a sort of webmaster + a sort of businessman (just the beginning but trying)... to start believing again in this... and to apply its passive philosophy, no... I do prefer the active and reality oriented philosophies like the Dialectics... If I want to be just relaxed and calm, thinking that everything is Karma and stuff, I better to be dead. It's not what I need and not what I dream of.

[Aquonut]

Here is a translate to his words in another thread:

В един от най-тежките моменти на живота ми (когато видях, че обещанията на баща ми за наследството ми не чинят пукнат грош и иска да го подари на приятелката си; когато един камбоджанец взе от мен над 100 долара и си намира извинения да не ги върне; когато всякакви други невървежи се случват и в новата държава след ужасните психически травми понесени в неофеодализирания Китай на некадърния автократ Си) получих снощи тъжната вест за починалата баба Маргарита.

TRANSLATED VIA GOOGLE TRANSLATE: In one of the worst moments of my life (when I saw that my father's promises about my inheritance were worthless and he wanted to give it to his girlfriend; when a Cambodian man took over $100 from me and made excuses not to bring them back; when all sorts of other disturbances are also happening in the new country after the terrible mental traumas suffered in the neo-feudalized China of the incompetent autocrat Xi) I received last night the sad news of the deceased grandmother Margarita.

Yeah I was referring to this as 'bio in Russian' and cuz I did not even check the translation so I just misprojected that the girl shared me a link to your bio in Russian.

All in all my memory is very well(you know you need good LTM for writing researches right?).

And hell nah I am not here to flaunt how knowledgable I am by teaching when Buddha was born... Because it is taught in China and even I didnt know when he was born until I checked the bio of him.

[PageRank]

Well, the letters of those languages are similar, not a big deal for a foreigner to made that mistake. Like Lao script and Thai script... I can't make the difference.

In China you must know mister Xi, not Buddha. It's normal that you didn't know.

[MSL]

 Oh, now I see what "Russian" you meant. Yes, as it was stated above, the letters are similar (in fact, they're almost the same; the difference is that Russians use a few more). The origin is the same (Cyrillic script). The script (in Chinese -- "西里尔字母" or "西里尔文") script was created during the First Bulgarian Empire based on Greek and some Bulgar (西匈奴的) letters/characters.
 I can't laugh if some Chinese don't make difference between Russian script and Bulgarian script because, for example, there are many Europeans and others who don't make any difference between Chinese and Japanese (and even worse -- between Chinese and Korean.) Nobody is omni-knowledgeable, so we learn all life long.
 But a "bio" was really a bit more.
 OK, we can close the memory related sub-topic here. If you are sure everything is okay, we don't need to continue it. Of course, as a Harvard fan, you may be interested to see the Harvard's opinion about what diet is good for a better memory (limiting the red meat, yes, but not all kinds of meat, i. e. a vegetarian (including the Buddhist) diet isn't the best for the memory): https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/boost-your-memory-by-eating-right.
 About the time of the birth, most of the average intelligent people usually know who is born B.C., so I wasn't impressed even the time when I learned for the first time (after the primary school period). Usually it's not very important when someone was born when it comes to ethics, philosophy, literature and some others parts of the knowledge (culture) because some of these people born B.C. like the ancient philosophers were smarter than some of the nowadays people (which even can't read, i.e. the illiterate people). Usually the truth isn't strictly related to the time. For example, if someone, 3000 years ago said "1 + 8 = 9" he/she is right and knows the math better than another one, who right now, a second ago, said that it equals 48237648231746821376562197.  But when it is about more concrete knowledge (and not only) like what is better to eat, what is the Solar system, are there germs and viruses, etc., the ancient people (even the smartest of them) just couldn't know it because it's related with the level of the science and techniques, industry, etc. That is why I prefer to rely on the modern science when I want to know what is better for my health, for my attitudes, for my successful existence in the world than to trust someone like Mohammed, Jesus, Buddha, etc., who even didn't know (and had no way to know!) stuff like: how many planets are there in our Solar system, how to produce electricity (at least on theory, like us), what is a germ, a virus, a molecule, an atom, an electron..., what is sushi,... they really had NO ANY IDEA that there are continents like America (Americas) and Antarctica. ([irony=100%level]They even did't know "Xi Jinping Thought on Socialism with Chinese Characteristics for a New Era" (“习近平新时代中国特色社会主义思想”)[/irony]) So, with their limited knowledge (facts) base, it's logical that they couldn't give you advise the same as some modern scholar.