At the beginning I thought that she is really going to be nice and to help, to be a friend. She was the one who offered her friendship and potential help. Later I found out that she's even not reading all of the content that I sent to her (according to her comments Just an example -- I won a chess game. And I told her "Another example why I try even when it seems 0 chance: I won against this Indian player even without a queen: (screenshot sent). . Usually without a queen (the most powerful piece in chess) the game is over. " but she didn't comment it at all) and she's not helping with something practical, something real (of course, I didn't expect her to give me some money when I speak to her about my jobless period and when I am describing my hard life because there are not so many people around the world who can give you cash just because you're in need, but at least I expected she to assist me to find a job or at least a part-time job). I didn't know that she is expecting me (the poor one) to pay her for this little favor. Also, I don't know how her niceness and recognition disappeared so fast. I guess, because I refused to use some realtor who she had in mind. I gave her my honest answer:
Yes, I bought an apartment 11 or 12 years ago. I hoped I can settle down here and become a real Chinese (with Chinese citizenship). Didn't know that this dark future is coming...
But I can't just sell it right now and starting to eat up from its money. My rule is "Don't eat your house."
And before I am sure I have a stable job abroad, I can't sell it so willingly...
Well, at the end, if here the COVID 0 madness continues endlessly, I have to sell it and to leave the hell even without job. (sad)
But realtors charge too expensive; I understand 90% of the Chinese characters, so I can deal directly with the selling; there are many neighbors (more than 10) who're willing to pay me directly 300 000 to 350 000 yuan.
As a reasonable-and-poor man I should avoid realtors. (thumb up)
Yeah, there are those men who think "Why?! It's only a small %, you'll pay them only 15 000 yuan!" Gosh (sweat), did they know HOW MUCH is 15 000 for me? For these (thumb down)rich bastards(thumb down) it's like 1 week work. For me it's more than 3 years work to have 15 000 yuan right now (with income of 400-500 yuan per month.)
So, saving money as much as I can, including buses, realtors, restaurants, cinemas... just focused to not die from hunger and to have some liquid (tea, water)...
Note about the word "bastards": in one of its meaning it's not rude, it's just informal and means "a person of a specified kind:
"He was a lucky bastard". (Source: "Oxford Languages" via Bing.)
As my partner said, she probably hoped that she can earn some percent of the realtor's commission. I wasn't very sure if this is the agenda but after her last words "I don't work for free" (even when it comes about helping to find a job) I also guess so -- she expected to earn some money from me and when I showed her honestly and clearly that I am not the right person for this she showed her real face and now I know that all those words like " I am concerned. " or "I am so sorry you are having such struggles. " were nothing but a mask. Now we know the real face, the real she.