I want to add a Chinese saying for the incels from all around the world: "无论成功与否,都要努力。" (Translation/meaning: "No matter you'll succeed or you'll fail, you have to do your best.")
This is not just about to approach; it's also about your self-improvement (self-maxx) in all the possible ways (body, mind, status, health). This is the rightest way.
And don't search for excuses. I'll give you this clear example (comparing me (living currently in limitations -- temporary static management, lack of jobs/very limited earnings, etc) and a rich incel.)
Let me first start with him. He's rich, he has a mother to take care of him and he's living in a developed country (one of the most developed in the world; a Western one). His average day is: just reading stuff online, participating in a toxic incels community (full of criminal incels, desperate incels, stupid incels, radicalized incels, disoriented incels, suicidal incels and of course some normal incels but the majority are getting abnormal); his only "walk" is to the toilet and back. He eats like a hog (for example, a few pizzas with some packs of chips) and drinks a lot of sugar containing sodas. Probably he consumes more than 6000-7000 calories per day and then he thinks that being a fatcel is a "genetic problem". He is also a mentalcel and often has problems with his anger management (online) plus he's obviously drinking hard alcoholic drinks or smoking marijuana. He is an intelligent person (reads and learns a lot, at least online) and he can tell things that most of the incels (including the scientists and philosophers among them) will be glad to read and discuss. A person with relatively high IQ. But... he just can't start to improve himself (he thinks that he's a 2/10 to 2.5/10 incel. Which means that if he lose weight, gain some muscle mass, start to have a good food and beverage healthy diet and keep the good learning, he'll get at least a 4/10 level, and I'll add a "1" more because as I said he's a rich young man -- so practically he'll be a 5/10 man, which means a Normanlite to GigaNorman and with some fashion-maxx, location-maxx and personality-maxx, he's totally able to become a Bradlite which is something around 6.5/10). Yes, but he just hasn't the will to start it (I think he has the enough IQ but the EQ and the willpower are his big problems). So he's just going online, eating, drinking, smoking, going to the toilet, having some controversies with his mother and... sleeping.
Now, compare my day:
1. Getting up, showers, having some light food (a cucumber with some dumplings and an orange), drinking green tea and mineral water.
2. Push-ups, dumbbell exercises, chest expander exercises.
3. Playing some chess; posting some answers online.
4. Step aerobics.
5. Drinking some milk, relaxing with some Eastern stuff like learning something new about Korea.
6. Yoga.
7. Learning some new foreign language words, expressions, grammar.
8. Going out, pull-ups, jogging. Light dinner (vegetable salad with some 0 calorie drink)
9. Taking a long night walk. Practicing old and new fighting techniques (MMA, TKD, Kyokushin karate, Thai boxing).
10. Home again, shower, mineral water and chrysanthemum tea, watching some night TV, reading news online, learning new scientific information, posting here...
Well, compare and think about it. Why he's rich and young but looks like an obese grandpa and I'm an uncle but I do look (according to some of the incels) like a Chadlite (and I feel way better -- happier, healthier, balanced, more optimistic and full of force and will to struggle, to try, to win, to achieve).