Horrible Bosses subtitles
"
Horrible Bosses" is a 2011 black comedy film. You can learn more about it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horrible_Bosses And here we go with the subtitles! Have a nice learning:
1
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:37,446
NICK: <i>I get to work before the sun comes up</i>
<i>and I leave long after it's gone down.</i>
2
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:42,019
<i>I haven't had sex in six months</i>
<i>with someone other than myself.</i>
3
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:44,917
<i>And the only thing in my refrigerator</i>
<i>is an old lime.</i>
4
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,819
<i>Could be a kiwi. No way to tell.</i>
5
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,086
NICK: Morning, Thomas.
-Good morning, Nick. You better hurry.
6
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,786
NICK:
<i>But here's the thing:</i>
7
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,589
<i>This is just temporary.</i>
8
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:55,824
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS
AND NICK SIGHS]
9
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,024
<i>Quick story:</i>
10
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:59,932
<i>My grandmother came to this country</i>
<i>with $20 in her pocket.</i>
11
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:03,199
<i>She worked hard her whole life</i>
<i>and never took shit from anyone.</i>
12
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:08,642
<i>When she died, she had</i>
<i>turned that $20 into $2000.</i>
13
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,645
<i>That sucks.</i>
14
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,647
<i>You know why she didn't succeed?</i>
15
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,480
<i>Because she didn't take shit</i>
<i>from anyone.</i>
16
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,746
<i>The key to success--</i>
17
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,789
<i>They will not teach you this</i>
<i>in business school. --is taking shit.</i>
18
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:20,981
[PHONE RINGS]
19
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:24,390
<i>That's what I've been doing the last</i>
<i>eight years, and it's all about to pay off.</i>
20
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:25,586
This is Nick.
21
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,700
<i>I'm this close to getting a big promotion</i>
<i>with my own office.</i>
22
00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:31,391
I'll be right there, Mr. Harken.
23
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,869
<i>Then all the endless hours,</i>
<i>and the sacrifice and the shit-eating...</i>
24
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,302
<i>...will have been worth it.</i>
25
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,272
HARKEN:
See, this is what concerns me, Nick.
26
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,208
You're a punctual guy. You know
the importance of being here right at 6 a.m.
27
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:45,178
Which is what leads me to think that...
28
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,444
...there must be something wrong
with the clock on our system.
29
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,951
May have been a minute late.
30
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,614
But according to this, you were
two minutes late. So either you're a liar...
31
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:58,490
...or this system is off by a full minute.
32
00:01:58,651 --> 00:01:59,891
NICK:
<i>The only hitch?</i>
33
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,294
<i>I work for this guy, David Harken...</i>
34
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:06,801
<i>...who right now is giving me some</i>
<i>fresh shit for being two minutes late.</i>
35
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,133
<i>He's a total fucking asshole.</i>
36
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:13,539
If that's the case, I'm gonna have to fire
Thomas, our longtime security coordinator.
37
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,976
- I may have been two minutes late.
- Oh.
38
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,781
Well, then you were lying.
39
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,041
No. I-- Who you calling?
40
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:21,852
- Thomas. I gotta let him go.
- No, uh--
41
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,316
- I was lying. Sorry.
- Lying?
42
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:27,424
I didn't mean to. It was more of a saying.
"Might have been a minute late."
43
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:32,154
Literally, uh, truthfully,
was two minutes late.
44
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:37,031
Boy, I have to get used to driving
with this big, heavy ring on my finger.
45
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,568
- Come on.
- I keep swerving to the left, babe.
46
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:43,105
DALE: <i>When I was a kid, people would</i>
<i>ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up.</i>
47
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,833
<i>I always gave the same answer.</i>
48
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,068
I love you so much.
49
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:47,734
I love you too.
50
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,244
DALE:
<i>I wanted to be a husband.</i>
51
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,678
- I will call you when I'm done.
- Have a good day.
52
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,112
DALE:
<i>I know that sounds weird.</i>
53
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,482
<i>Most boys wanna be firehouse chiefs</i>
<i>or personal trainers...</i>
54
00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:59,920
<i>...but to me being a husband</i>
<i>was, like, the highest calling.</i>
55
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,217
<i>And thanks to Stacy...</i>
56
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,255
<i>...that dream's about to come true.</i>
57
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:07,922
<i>Unfortunately, no one's gonna pay you</i>
<i>to be a husband unless you marry Oprah.</i>
58
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,896
<i>So I had to find a job.</i>
59
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,263
<i>Now, I always admired dentists.</i>
60
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,406
<i>They're smart, they're capable,</i>
<i>they keep your teeth healthy.</i>
61
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,168
<i>So I went out and I became one.</i>
62
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:21,511
- How are you today, Dale?
- I'm fine. Thanks.
63
00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:22,869
Excavator.
64
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,540
DALE: <i>Okay, I became a dental assistant.</i>
<i>It's basically the same thing.</i>
65
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,913
<i>I just make a lot less money.</i>
66
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,146
Did you ever see that show <i>Gossip Girl</i>?
67
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,188
- No.
- Ooh.
68
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,292
I watched an episode last night.
69
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:39,596
I fingered myself so hard to that
Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.
70
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:42,824
DALE: <i>And it would have been</i>
<i>the perfect job. If not for one...</i>
71
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:47,404
<i>...evil crazy bitch, D.D.S.</i>
72
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,708
I bet you're no shrimp in
the cock department, huh, there, Dale?
73
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,171
- Okay, Julia. Come on.
- What?
74
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:55,336
- I'm uncomfortable talking about that.
- Oh, Dale, come on.
75
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:56,946
You know that I like to fool around.
76
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,605
DALE: Oops.
-Mr. Anderton.
77
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,351
Not in the office. This is bad.
78
00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:04,317
- Bad, bad, bad!
- You probably shouldn't hit the patients.
79
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,688
Ah, I love this. So festive.
80
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,019
KURT:
<i>I love my job.</i>
81
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:12,994
<i>If you ask me, anyone who hates their job</i>
<i>has no one to blame but themself.</i>
82
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,632
<i>We make our own destinies,</i>
<i>and I've made a sweet one.</i>
83
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:18,200
We have stairs.
You don't need to bring your own.
84
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:22,238
<i>I'm an account manager at a chemical</i>
<i>company. I'll tell you, the job has its perks.</i>
85
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,430
Hi, can I help you?
86
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,940
He's just signing for these packages.
Thank you.
87
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,271
Oh, no. I should do this.
88
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,912
Reggie, I got this. Thank you, buddy.
89
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,548
- This is high-priority stuff here.
- Thank you.
90
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:33,308
- So, what's going on here?
- I'm sorry?
91
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,953
- Is this one of those hidden camera shows?
- What do you mean?
92
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,282
You're way too cute
to be just a FedEx girl.
93
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,015
You gotta be a model or actress
or something, right?
94
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,389
What happens when I open these?
Something'll jump out, bite my penis?
95
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,656
No. Nothing's gonna jump out.
I'm just a FedEx girl.
96
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,265
- Shut up.
- Ha, ha.
97
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:50,765
- Bye.
- Have a great afternoon.
98
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:51,958
JAMIE:
Thank you.
99
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,935
KURT: <i>I didn't sign that form, by the way,</i>
<i>so she has to come back.</i>
100
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,129
She's cute, huh, Reg?
101
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,209
- Caught another fly in your web, did you?
- Ha, ha. Hey, Jack.
102
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:02,073
KURT:
<i>But the real reason I'm here is this guy:</i>
103
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:05,580
<i>Jack Pellit, my boss.</i>
<i>The sweetest man I know.</i>
104
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,778
<i>He loves me and I love him.</i>
<i>Everybody loves him.</i>
105
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,478
- You all right, Margie?
- Hi, Mr. Pellit. Kurt.
106
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,749
I've been waiting to get in there
for a while.
107
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:16,325
- Who's in there?
- It's your son.
108
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:18,051
Bobby!
109
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:19,560
[BOBBY SNIFFING AND GRUNTING]
110
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,256
Margie's waiting.
You nearly done in there?
111
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:27,004
A man can't get any privacy around here.
112
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,764
- Okay, Margie. Bobby?
- What?
113
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,175
Your stomach okay? You seem
to spend more time on the toilet...
114
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,504
...than at your desk.
115
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:37,204
I didn't realize I had to tell you
every time I wanna take a dump.
116
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:40,510
KURT: <i>If the worst thing about this job</i>
<i>is having to tolerate my boss's...</i>
117
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:44,382
<i>...dipshit cokehead son,</i>
<i>well, it's a small price to pay.</i>
118
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,182
Need me to tell you when I pee-pee?
119
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,691
I'm just trying to get you to do
your part, son. It's not easy times.
120
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,193
I do my part. I do other people's parts.
121
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,300
But it doesn't matter to you. You just
wanna ride my ass because I'm your son.
122
00:05:56,456 --> 00:06:00,268
You know what? I don't hear you
giving dickskin any shit.
123
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,372
- "Dickskin"? Nice.
- Kiss-ass.
124
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,530
-Come on, come on.
BOBBY: Yeah, go on. In you go.
125
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,176
Get in the fucking--!
126
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,608
- I'm a green belt, motherfcrrrrrrrr.
- What?
127
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,805
BOBBY: Yeah. All right?
-Okay.
128
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:14,213
Now, I know you've been working
your tail off for that promotion.
129
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,479
But I'm not sure I can even consider...
130
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:20,715
...making you the senior vice president
of sales...
131
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,160
...if I can't trust you.
132
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:27,393
- You can trust me.
- Yeah, now you sound like my wife.
133
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:30,227
"Trust me. You can trust me, honey.
134
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,631
Nothing's happening behind your back.
Trust me."
135
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,773
Meanwhile, she's fucking
every guy in the neighborhood.
136
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,337
Oh, you want one?
137
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,074
It's 8:15 a.m.
138
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,772
Well, is there something wrong with
a man enjoying a drink in the morning?
139
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,550
No.
140
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:49,749
Thank you. Sure, thanks.
141
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,522
Bottoms up.
142
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,594
Nothing for you?
143
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,060
Nick, it's 8:15 in the morning.
I'm not an alcoholic.
144
00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:06,259
[NICK CHUCKLES]
145
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,929
The only reason I took one,
I thought you were gonna have one.
146
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:13,100
You took one because you thought I was?
Is that something a senior VP would do?
147
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,177
I was just trying to be polite.
148
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:18,008
So if I, uh, was gonna put my balls
in honey and shaved coconut...
149
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,206
...you'd do that too?
150
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,680
- I would not.
- Sure?
151
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,218
- Yeah.
- Because I've got some coconut.
152
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,950
I'm having my teeth whitened Tuesday. You
have to get your work done by Monday...
153
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,492
...which means you'll probably
be here all weekend.
154
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,062
Look, if you want a promotion,
you gotta earn it.
155
00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:34,526
Now, what do I keep saying?
156
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,167
Life is a marathon,
and you cannot win a marathon...
157
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:40,600
...without putting a few Band-Aids
on your nipples, right?
158
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,330
Right.
159
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,566
Nick.
160
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800
It's 18-year-old Scotch.
161
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:50,470
You don't really expect me to
pour it back into the bottle, do you?
162
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:05,888
[COUGHS]
163
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,555
- Water.
- Yep.
164
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:12,233
All right. Let's see if this thing's working.
Oh!
165
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:17,402
DALE: Oh, my God.
-Oh! I'm sorry. I'm a squirter, Dale.
166
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,306
- Oh, you know what?
- What?
167
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:25,677
Ah. I think I can make out
our little friend right there.
168
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:26,873
DALE:
Stop it.
169
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:28,074
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]
170
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,618
- Somebody's circumcised.
- Okay.
171
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:31,379
[JULIA CHUCKLING]
172
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:32,614
- Listen.
- What?
173
00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:36,726
- Can we stop doing this thing here?
- Why? Because you have a girlfriend?
174
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,689
She's not just my girlfriend anymore.
We're engaged now.
175
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,696
- What?
- We're engaged.
176
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,966
You said that she was
just a hole for your dick.
177
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:49,072
I never said that.
178
00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:50,468
Not really my style.
179
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,768
[MOANING]
180
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,001
Shut up.
181
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,371
[GAS HISSING]
182
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,877
That's a lot of gas.
183
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,141
- That's good. No, those are great ideas.
- Yeah?
184
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,375
- Put them down on paper, will you?
- Will do.
185
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,190
- You're happy here, aren't you?
- Yeah, of course.
186
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,090
Good.
187
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,021
You got a bright future here,
you know?
188
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,127
Someday soon,
it'll be you running this place.
189
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,192
- See you, kid.
- All right, now.
190
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,201
- Drive safe.
- Yeah.
191
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:24,269
[CRASH]
192
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,704
[HORN HONKING]
193
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:26,969
Oh, shit.
194
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,339
KURT:
<i>He had a heart attack.</i>
195
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:33,283
They said his, uh, heart burst in his chest
like a water balloon.
196
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:37,277
Oh, my God. I'm sorry, man.
I know you guys were close.
197
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:39,923
Yeah. Yeah, I loved that guy.
198
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:43,288
I loved working for him, you know?
It was, like, awesome.
199
00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:46,089
Now his shitbag son's
gonna be in charge and it's like--
200
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,287
The cokehead?
201
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:50,127
Yeah. Know how many times
I caught him doing blow at work?
202
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:54,465
This thing's a real bummer. Sorry. You're
the only one of us who didn't hate his job.
203
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:58,973
Did I tell you that Harken tricked me
into having a drink at 8:00 this morning?
204
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:00,769
I mean, I work for the Antichrist.
205
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,880
- How did he trick you?
- I thought he was giving you a promotion.
206
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:06,448
He is, definitely.
That's why he's being extra evil.
207
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,950
This is his last chance
to make my life miserable.
208
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,214
Right. At least your boss
isn't sexually harassing you.
209
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,187
- God. Here we go.
- Don't give me shit.
210
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,951
You won't get sympathy for this.
211
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,619
She's going crazy. It's like a totally
hostile work environment now, man.
212
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,230
- It's not funny.
- Yeah?
213
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:25,494
All right, today she starts spraying water
at my crotch to see the outline of my dick.
214
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,069
- That's great.
- It's not great.
215
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:30,230
What are you talking about?
Why don't you just, you know, fuck her?
216
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:34,037
Because I am engaged to be married
and I love my fianc閑, okay?
217
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,235
That's true.
218
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,812
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
219
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,449
What about getting
a different dental hygienist job?
220
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:40,709
I can't get another job.
221
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,786
- No, he's a child molester, Nick.
- No, uh, deviant. Sexual deviant?
222
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:46,355
What is it? How do they classify it?
Sex offender.
223
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,321
I'm on the registered
sex offender list, yes.
224
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,516
[KURT CHUCKLES]
225
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:53,220
You can't get that expunged? All you did
was pull your dick out on a playground.
226
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,662
I was taking a piss at night,
there were no kids.
227
00:10:55,821 --> 00:11:00,133
All right, you know what? You don't
put a playground right next to a bar.
228
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:01,828
-It's entrapment.
KURT: Mm-hm.
229
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,166
[WOMAN CHUCKLES]
230
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,867
Speaking of entrapment, I'm gonna go
see that girl about her vagina.
231
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,645
Excuse me.
232
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,811
He did say 10:00, right?
233
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,950
- Yeah. Do you know what this is about?
- It just said "staff meeting" on the memo.
234
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:23,617
It's funny how he gets all over my ass if I'm
a minute late, but then he makes us wait 15.
235
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:25,490
-You were two minutes late.
NICK: Morning.
236
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,961
Didn't think I had to punch a clock
with you.
237
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,396
I'll just attribute this
to your drinking problem.
238
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:33,230
- I don't have--
- Please, we're in the middle of a meeting.
239
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:36,566
Morning, everyone.
So I have finally decided...
240
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:42,905
...who I want to be our new
senior vice president of sales.
241
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,314
He's right here in this room.
242
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,615
- It's me.
- What'd he say?
243
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:54,053
HARKEN: I've decided to absorb
the responsibilities...
244
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,887
...of the senior VP position
into my own.
245
00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,656
I've realized if you wanna get something
done right, you gotta do it yourself.
246
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:04,996
I'll break through the wall of the office
that would have been the senior VP's...
247
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,296
...and make one huge, enormous office.
248
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:12,739
However, I will only be taking 85 percent
of the additional salary I am entitled to...
249
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,811
...and that is self-sacrifice, people.
Learn from it.
250
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,413
fcrrrrrrrr!
251
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,413
[EMPLOYEES GASP AND SHRIEK]
252
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,415
You fucking son of a bitch!
253
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:25,155
You are so fucking fired!
254
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,526
Yeah!
255
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,788
[CHEERING]
256
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,693
HARKEN:
So, meeting adjourned.
257
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,199
- Can I speak to you?
- Sure, what is it?
258
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:43,306
For months you've been hinting
I was in line for that promotion.
259
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,442
And look how hard you've been working.
260
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,509
- You were just lying to me?
- Lying?
261
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,171
No, Nick, motivating.
262
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:54,011
I mean, look, we're all
part of the same team here.
263
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:57,416
Plus, you know, I'm the one
who's gonna be doing all the extra work.
264
00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,749
You know last month
you made me work so late...
265
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,586
...I missed saying goodbye
to my Gam Gam?
266
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:05,994
- Sorry, what?
- My grandmother.
267
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,792
I told you I needed to see her
because she was very sick.
268
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,831
You said if I left early, I'd get fired.
269
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,095
And she died
before I made it to the hospital.
270
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:16,067
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
271
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:21,673
[LAUGHING] I had no idea that you called
your grandmother "Gam Gam."
272
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,647
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
273
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:29,987
I'm sorry you didn't get to
say bye-bye to Gam Gam.
274
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:33,555
Really, I really am. I'm sorry.
275
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:38,388
But I needed you to work late because you
are an invaluable member of this operation.
276
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,588
And I need you in the position you're in.
277
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:43,700
Well, tough shit, okay?
278
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:49,062
Been in that position for eight years. Why
would I stay after being treated like this?
279
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:53,267
Well, because I'd make sure that nobody
in the industry would ever hire you again.
280
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:54,570
Bullshit.
281
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:58,112
No, because they're gonna want
my letter of recommendation, right?
282
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:03,879
So I'm perfectly willing to write that
you are an insubordinate, dishonest drunk.
283
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,250
You can't do that. That's not true.
284
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:13,790
Let me tell you something,
you stupid little runt.
285
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,557
I own you.
286
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,166
You're my bitch.
287
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,361
Don't walk around thinking
you have free will because you don't.
288
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,904
I can crush you any time I want.
289
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:28,236
So settle in because you are here
for the long haul.
290
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,929
Yo, dickwall.
291
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,991
- What the fuck?
- What?
292
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:52,430
Three hours late. What's the deal?
293
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,999
- I was at your father's funeral.
- Uh-huh. Mm-hm.
294
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:59,131
Maybe that excuse would have flown when
my dad was here, but I'm in charge now.
295
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:02,074
That excuse wouldn't make any sense
if your dad was still here.
296
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,804
Whoa.
297
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,971
In my office, now.
298
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:10,743
Yes?
299
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,945
[BOBBY CLEARS THROAT]
300
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,146
All right, sit.
301
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:14,814
- I'm not a dog, Bobby.
- Good boy.
302
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:18,223
I've been looking through the books.
You're the accountant. Tell me...
303
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:21,126
- ...why is this company in the crapper?
- Well, we're not.
304
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:24,063
- It's a recession, but we're still profitable.
- Bullshit.
305
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:25,668
Look...
306
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:29,865
...I know you and my dad were, uh, pals.
Okay?
307
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,908
Frankly, I always thought
it was a little bit weird and gay.
308
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,409
I have no idea why he thought
you were so fucking special.
309
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,841
But that doesn't matter now,
he's in the ground.
310
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:40,847
I'm your boss. And there's gonna be
some changes around here.
311
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:43,111
- Can't wait to hear them.
- First things first.
312
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,051
EnviroTech Waste Management.
It's costing us a lot of money.
313
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,657
Your dad chose to dispose
of our waste responsibly.
314
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:50,487
To do that, you gotta spend money.
315
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,493
Bolivians will do it for a third
of the price. I'll hire them.
316
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:54,926
- You can't go to them.
- Why?
317
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,067
They're gonna endanger
local residents.
318
00:15:57,222 --> 00:16:00,499
Oh, I give a fuck some tribesman
gets cancer. Cry me a fucking river.
319
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:02,502
They're not tribesmen.
It's a modern society.
320
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,072
Do I look like I fucking care?
321
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,709
Your dad told me very clearly
he would rather die...
322
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,742
...than save money
and hurt people, okay?
323
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:12,439
Well, guess what, looks like
we're right on schedule, doesn't it?
324
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,815
What else? Gotta trim
some of the fat around here.
325
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,080
What do you mean by "trim the fat"?
326
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,484
- I want you to fire the fat people.
- What?
327
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,183
They're lazy, and slow
and they make me sad to look at.
328
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:26,523
You can start with Large Marge.
Marge, can you come in here, please?
329
00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:29,689
No, Margie's not fat, she's pregnant.
I'm not gonna fire her.
330
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,266
Well, fine. Uh...
331
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,926
<i>...stay where you are, Marge.</i>
<i>Congratulations.</i>
332
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,569
- You can fire, uh, Professor Xavier.
- Who are you talking about?
333
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,277
- You mean Hank?
- Yeah.
334
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,676
He creeps me out, rolling around
all day in his special secret chair.
335
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,874
- He's up to something.
- I won't fire anyone.
336
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,076
- You're not? Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.
337
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:51,687
It's like you don't care
about this company at all.
338
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,382
No fucking shit I don't care about
this company. This is just an ATM to me.
339
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:59,017
You think when I was a kid I dreamed
of running a fucking chemical company?
340
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:03,257
No. I dreamed of being on a beach
with a model serving me tropical drinks.
341
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,959
That's what I dreamed of.
That's what's gonna happen...
342
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:10,835
...as soon as I squeeze the profit out
of this company. But first things first.
343
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:15,072
You either fire the fatty or you
fire the cripple, or I fire all three of you.
344
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:17,547
Do the math.
345
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,115
One loses the job or three loses it.
346
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,307
[SIGHS]
347
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:24,079
And tell him to leave his handicap
parking pass here as well.
348
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,348
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
349
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,014
Come in.
350
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,518
Julia, you needed to see me?
351
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,888
Oh, shit.
352
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,189
[LOCK BEEPS]
353
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:39,659
Uh-oh.
354
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:42,528
- Will you have a seat, Dale?
- Do I have to?
355
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,531
Please.
356
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:47,875
Sure.
357
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,249
This is a little ridiculous, but--
358
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:59,014
Look, Dale, you know, I know that
I like to fool around at work. Right?
359
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:02,455
And I might even-- You know,
I might even cross the line a bit.
360
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:06,255
But the last thing that I wanna do
is make you uncomfortable.
361
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,394
I mean, it's just not professional.
You know?
362
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,934
And I pride myself
on being a professional.
363
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:17,700
So from now on, what I would like you
to do is just tell me, you know...
364
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:21,208
...when and if, uh, I cross the line. Okay?
365
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:23,812
Okay. Now.
366
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,339
What?
367
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:29,008
Well, now,
you're kind of crossing a line...
368
00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,253
...because you're naked.
369
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,946
Uh....
370
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,522
Not naked, Dale.
371
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,855
- Can you see my pussy?
- Hmm.
372
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:42,490
True. Um....
373
00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:47,399
But I think, uh, even really
saying the word "pussy" is--
374
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,561
- That's crossing the line?
- Little bit.
375
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,833
You're starting to sound like
a little faggot.
376
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:55,706
There we go. That one's another one,
probably illegal thing to say too.
377
00:18:55,868 --> 00:19:00,942
Okay. Let's not talk about illegal,
Mr. I-Like-To-Pee-On-Little-Boys.
378
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,643
It was an empty playground
in the middle of the night.
379
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,221
Ah. That's weirder. Poor child
must have been terrified.
380
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:09,621
There were no children. No kids in the park.
Why do people think that?
381
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:13,991
You know what? Forget it. Listen,
let's just cut to the chase, all right, mister?
382
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,099
- You're engaged now.
- Right.
383
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,829
And I respect the institution of
marriage way too much to violate it.
384
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:25,040
So that's why you're gonna have to
fuck me well before the wedding.
385
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:29,943
Because the closer we get to this date,
the less ladylike I'm gonna feel about it.
386
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,445
Julia, I'm not gonna sleep with you.
387
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,015
We'll see about that.
388
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,214
[GROANS]
389
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,859
Get out.
390
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,563
Could you do the, uh...?
391
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,221
[DOOR BEEPS THEN CLICKS]
392
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:53,803
I'm a sucker.
Harken wasn't gonna promote me.
393
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,667
That coked-up prick
is gonna ruin Pellit Chemicals.
394
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,704
He's just gonna fire everybody.
395
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,845
She stood there with her breasts
right in my face.
396
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,139
Yeah, you know,
yours doesn't sound that bad.
397
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,873
I'll stop bringing it up.
398
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,109
I don't understand
why you guys don't quit.
399
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:11,720
Julia's the only one who'd hire me.
Are you registered sex offenders?
400
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:15,791
Going to school, changing fields, starting
from the bottom. Who wants to do that?
401
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:19,919
What do I care about protecting
Pellit's name when his own son doesn't?
402
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:23,157
- Gotta be a million jobs out there.
- You could find another job.
403
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:25,768
-Is this really happening? Look at this.
KURT: Oh!
404
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:29,371
The Three Musketeers. Nick, Kurt and Dale.
Look, hanging like high school.
405
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:32,134
-Oh, shit. Kenny's here.
KENNY: What's up?
406
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,433
- Yeah, I love this.
- Kenny Sommerfeld.
407
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,739
-In the flesh, boys.
KURT: Oh, my goodness.
408
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,406
Now, I heard you moved to New York,
you're working at Lehman Brothers.
409
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,280
- They, uh, hired me right out of Yale.
- What are you doing here?
410
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:46,753
-You read the papers? They shut us down.
DALE: Right. Sorry about that.
411
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,222
I've been looking for work
for the last two years.
412
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,418
I can't even get a job waiting tables.
413
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,926
Ah, you know what, though?
414
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,463
I would fucking murder those
Lehman Brothers if I could.
415
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:56,656
Yeah, I hear you.
416
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,733
Ha. I can't even pay
for this fucking drink.
417
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,267
Well, we'll cover it, right?
418
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,269
Seriously, uh, you guys think
you could help me out a little?
419
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,602
- Beyond the drink?
- Maybe some extra scratch, if you got it.
420
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,042
Of course. Kenny, I had no idea
it was that bad, buddy. All I got's 15.
421
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,546
-Do you have change for a 10?
KENNY: No, I don't.
422
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:16,049
You know what? That's probably
not gonna cut it, so I'll tell you what.
423
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,085
How about I give you guys
some hand jobs?
424
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,847
-Do what?
KENNY: Forty bucks apiece.
425
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,787
We could do it here in the bathroom.
426
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,154
- No thanks.
- That's a joke? You're joking?
427
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:25,386
-Kenny.
BARTENDER: Hey!
428
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:27,029
KENNY: Oh, shit.
-Come on, man.
429
00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:28,858
I told you no more handies in here.
430
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,661
You guys change your minds,
I'm staying at my mom's house.
431
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:32,858
Okay.
432
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,133
Maybe don't quit your job.
433
00:21:38,196 --> 00:21:41,507
I guess we'll be miserable
for the rest of our lives? That's the deal?
434
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,147
NICK: That's the way it's looking.
-Why you saying that?
435
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,941
We don't have many options, do we?
436
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,047
Think about it, we can quit our jobs
and turn into Kenny...
437
00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:52,484
...or, uh, keep our jobs
and just become spineless losers...
438
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:55,853
...that spend their entire day
dreaming of ways to kill their bosses.
439
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:57,618
- You do that too?
- Of course.
440
00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,923
- Sounds a little sick.
- It's not. It's just a way to blow off steam.
441
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:03,430
It's not like we're gonna
actually kill our bosses.
442
00:22:03,588 --> 00:22:06,068
- Good.
- Ha, ha. Though you would have to admit...
443
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:09,296
...that our lives would be a lot easier
if our bosses weren't alive.
444
00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:10,496
NICK:
Mm-hm.
445
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:15,270
Hypothetically, if we could do it and none
of us get caught, would you guys do it?
446
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:17,246
- No.
- I would.
447
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:18,779
- No, you wouldn't.
- I would.
448
00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:20,211
-You would?
KURT: Yeah.
449
00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:23,683
It's not murder if it's justified.
Justifiable homicide, right?
450
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,185
I can't wait to hear this.
451
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,052
If one evil person dies
for the greater good, so be it.
452
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:32,389
You know, Bobby Pellit is an absolute
monster. He's a fucking jerk.
453
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:36,897
If he has his way, he's gonna end up
killing thousands of innocent Bolivians.
454
00:22:37,055 --> 00:22:38,090
What?
455
00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:40,566
Technically, I think it's immoral
not to kill him.
456
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:43,639
I should kill Harken for not letting me
say goodbye to Gam Gam?
457
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,775
Yes. Yes, you should.
458
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:48,775
But I don't care how bad our bosses are.
We're not murderers.
459
00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:51,437
Julia is ruining your life, you know?
That's wrong.
460
00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:54,311
- That is wrong.
- It's affecting your possible marriage.
461
00:22:54,473 --> 00:22:57,852
- Come on, she's not ruining it.
- Would your life be easier without Julia?
462
00:22:58,009 --> 00:22:59,750
You're right.
Uh, know what I'm gonna do?
463
00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:02,551
I'm gonna go to Julia's house,
maybe I'll slash her up...
464
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:06,321
...and I'll put her in a box and I'll mail it
to you two, uh, tough-guy mafiosos.
465
00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:10,297
I'm done with this conversation. You're
paying for dinner because you've upset me.
466
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:13,994
You're paying
and I'm finding a cab somehow.
467
00:23:14,159 --> 00:23:16,765
I was just speaking hypothetically,
you know.
468
00:23:16,928 --> 00:23:18,669
Me too.
469
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:23,807
STACY:
Guess who.
470
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,575
Look, I'm really kind of
not in the mood for this.
471
00:23:26,772 --> 00:23:28,308
Not in the mood for what?
472
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:29,744
- Hi.
- Hi, babe.
473
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:31,478
Oh, what are you doing here?
474
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:34,681
JULIA: I invited her.
-Yes. She called.
475
00:23:34,846 --> 00:23:39,261
And she said that now that we're engaged,
she wanted to offer me free dental work.
476
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:42,399
-And you know I have that loose filling.
DALE: Yeah.
477
00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:44,556
This really was so, so sweet of you, Julia.
478
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:47,169
Oh, please. Come on, Stacy,
it's my pleasure.
479
00:23:47,325 --> 00:23:48,827
You're part of the family now.
480
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:51,132
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
481
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:59,146
But, um, I don't know
if it's a good idea, sweetie.
482
00:23:59,304 --> 00:24:01,045
Oh, why not?
483
00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:05,586
Because we're mixing pleasure
with business. Business and pleasure.
484
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,348
We're taking advantage of Julia.
485
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,420
Dale.
486
00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:13,461
There's nothing that you could do ever
that would be taking advantage of me.
487
00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:16,430
- Okay?
- So sweet.
488
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:20,069
All right, you. Let's go say
we pump you full of gas, huh?
489
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:21,397
[STACY CHUCKLES]
490
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,471
STACY: Okay.
-Okay.
491
00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:26,843
Fuck me.
492
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,941
Ten.
493
00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:30,778
Nine.
494
00:24:33,038 --> 00:24:35,143
I don't know
what you're doing with your hand.
495
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,752
-Okay.
STACY: Seven.
496
00:24:36,908 --> 00:24:40,446
Put your hand in a safe place
because there's sharp tools here.
497
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:43,050
Oh, there she goes.
498
00:24:43,381 --> 00:24:46,225
JULIA: Come here!
-What are you doing? What are you doing?
499
00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:47,855
[GRUMBLES]
500
00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:50,124
You're gonna give me that dong, Dale.
501
00:24:50,422 --> 00:24:51,492
My dong?
502
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:53,602
You're gonna fuck my slutty little mouth.
503
00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:56,967
Do you hear the words you say sometimes?
I mean, who talks like that?
504
00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:59,699
Let's have sex on top of her.
Let's use her like a bed.
505
00:25:00,131 --> 00:25:03,010
Get down, get down. Hey, hey!
Get off of her.
506
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:07,378
Goddamn you! That's it, okay?
You know what? That's crossing the line.
507
00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:09,041
So I'm done, Julia.
508
00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:12,814
Fuck this. I'm out. I don't need this job.
So goodbye, I'm quitting. I'm done.
509
00:25:12,978 --> 00:25:14,616
I'm gonna tell her you fucked me.
510
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:16,382
What?
511
00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:19,324
If you don't fuck me,
I'm gonna tell her that you fucked me.
512
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:22,996
Okay. Tell her whatever the hell you want.
She's not gonna believe you.
513
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:26,298
She already knows
that you're a sex offender.
514
00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:29,705
And I think once she gets a look
at these...
515
00:25:30,495 --> 00:25:32,475
...she's gonna believe me.
516
00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:35,938
- What is that?
- Do you remember your first week here?
517
00:25:36,101 --> 00:25:38,377
When I changed the crown
on your second bicuspid?
518
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:39,675
Yeah.
519
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:44,350
Well, I just, uh, took a few pictures
of the procedure.
520
00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,420
DALE: Oh, my God.
-Right?
521
00:25:47,979 --> 00:25:49,981
Oh, no. What?
522
00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:52,453
JULIA:
Oh. Ooh.
523
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:54,392
You did all this
while I was unconscious?
524
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,464
Ooh. Mm-hm. Yep.
525
00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:00,131
That's my favorite.
526
00:26:00,292 --> 00:26:01,327
- Rape.
- What?
527
00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:03,700
Rape. That's a rape.
This is what raping is.
528
00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:06,433
You're a raper and you've raped me.
That's a rape! Rape!
529
00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:09,044
Just relax there, Jodie Foster.
530
00:26:09,534 --> 00:26:10,979
Your dick wasn't even hard.
531
00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:12,877
That does not give me any relief.
532
00:26:13,038 --> 00:26:15,746
But it will be next time, and if it is not...
533
00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:20,447
...this little sweetheart right here is gonna
get a peek at my little photo album.
534
00:26:21,046 --> 00:26:26,587
So please prep the patient
for the bitewing x-ray.
535
00:26:27,185 --> 00:26:29,096
I'll be back in a jiffy.
536
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:43,168
I'm in. Let's kill this bitch!
537
00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:46,677
NICK: What bitch?
-"What bitch"? Guys, my boss.
538
00:26:46,838 --> 00:26:50,115
Our bosses need to die. You were right,
man. We should do this thing.
539
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,313
We were drinking last night.
You said that killing is wrong.
540
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:57,722
I know. That was before Julia tried to fuck
me on top of Stacy's unconscious body.
541
00:26:57,882 --> 00:26:59,020
KURT: Really?
-Yes, dude.
542
00:26:59,184 --> 00:27:02,563
She's gone fucking batshit crazy.
She took a bunch of photographs of me--
543
00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:05,395
- Where are they?
- They'll ruin my life. I can't show them.
544
00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:08,436
- It's a whole thing. You guys in or out?
- I was in last night.
545
00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:10,630
- Nick, what do you say?
- Please. Let's go.
546
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:11,830
Nick, come on.
547
00:27:11,997 --> 00:27:15,240
Seriously. I mean, uh, what about
your grandma, you know? <i>Bubbe.</i>
548
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,708
-Gam Gam.
KURT: Whatever it is.
549
00:27:16,868 --> 00:27:18,973
She didn't get to say goodbye
to her grandson.
550
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,981
Because his dickbag of a boss
wouldn't let him leave. Right?
551
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:25,417
- What would Gam Gam want you to do?
- She wouldn't want me to kill him.
552
00:27:25,577 --> 00:27:28,490
Okay, forget about Gam Gam.
She's dead. You gotta accept that.
553
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,491
This is about you, Nick.
Okay, what do you want?
554
00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:33,554
Well, obviously I want him gone.
555
00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:35,561
- Exactly. So let's do this.
- Right?
556
00:27:36,054 --> 00:27:37,931
KURT: How do we do this?
-I thought about that.
557
00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:40,069
Stacy and I,
we watch a ton of <i>Law & Order</i>.
558
00:27:40,225 --> 00:27:43,297
There's all sorts of ways the bad
guys on the show mess up, right?
559
00:27:43,461 --> 00:27:46,567
They leave behind skin cells
and, uh, bullet casing--
560
00:27:46,731 --> 00:27:47,766
Sperm.
561
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:50,037
- Most of the time, it's sperm.
- Silent killer.
562
00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:52,078
Anyway, that's not the point.
Point is...
563
00:27:52,237 --> 00:27:54,717
...we're not qualified.
We gotta hire a professional.
564
00:27:54,873 --> 00:27:56,750
- Are you talking about a hit man?
- Yeah.
565
00:27:56,908 --> 00:27:58,615
That's a really good idea.
566
00:27:58,777 --> 00:28:01,587
Yeah. We don't clean
our own apartments or cut our own hair.
567
00:28:01,746 --> 00:28:03,350
- No, we pay someone to do that.
- Yeah.
568
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,426
Uh, where are you two
gonna find a hit man?
569
00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:07,722
DALE: Why don't you guys
leave that up to me, okay?
570
00:28:07,886 --> 00:28:10,162
I got this whole thing figured out.
571
00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:14,827
I'm gonna give you a call tomorrow,
I'm gonna tell you where to meet me.
572
00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:16,563
Why don't you just tell us now?
573
00:28:17,796 --> 00:28:20,868
- Because I don't have it figured out.
- Ah.
574
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:23,470
But I will.
575
00:28:41,653 --> 00:28:44,133
- Were you followed?
- Why would I be followed?
576
00:28:44,289 --> 00:28:47,429
People follow people in these types
of situations. Sure you weren't?
577
00:28:47,592 --> 00:28:48,627
Oh, boy. What people?
578
00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:50,932
Just take one quick look around,
make sure.
579
00:28:51,096 --> 00:28:53,508
- Let's put this down.
- Look around, make sure some--
580
00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:55,406
-Calm down!
NICK: That's what you get.
581
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,843
Shut the door, take the chain off
and let me in.
582
00:28:58,002 --> 00:28:59,913
- I pissed him off already.
- Already?
583
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,053
What the hell's going on, huh?
What are we doing here?
584
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:08,282
- I don't want an assassin in my apartment.
- Don't want this guy knowing where we live.
585
00:29:08,446 --> 00:29:11,984
Hang on, you guys already went ahead
and found someone that's coming here?
586
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,426
- Oh, bigtime.
- Not "we." Dale, all by himself.
587
00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:18,260
- It was easy. Easy as buying a used futon.
- You found a hit man online?
588
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,869
Yeah. They don't write "hit man,"
right? That's dumb.
589
00:29:21,025 --> 00:29:24,472
They use code words, like wet work,
right? Liquidation. Check him out.
590
00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:26,905
"Skilled professional
with years of experience...
591
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:29,067
...in domestic and international
wet work.
592
00:29:29,234 --> 00:29:31,339
Discreet. No children,
no political figures."
593
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:34,450
That last part was important. I saw that,
I thought, "This is a good idea."
594
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:35,710
[CAR DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
595
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:37,876
I feel we should've got
a cheese plate for this guy.
596
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,282
- 20/20 hindsight.
- Is that him?
597
00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:42,152
KURT: Oh, shit.
-Yeah, that was definitely a car.
598
00:29:46,684 --> 00:29:49,164
KURT: He looks like James Bond.
-He really does, dude.
599
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,291
Bet he carries a gun you screw together.
Those are, like, the coolest guns they make.
600
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,699
So dangerous.
What if that is an undercover cop?
601
00:29:55,860 --> 00:29:57,396
- Come on.
- What if it's the real thing?
602
00:29:57,562 --> 00:30:00,543
He charges so much we can't
afford it, gets pissed, kills us.
603
00:30:00,698 --> 00:30:02,609
- Kills all three of us? Hold on.
- That's a thing?
604
00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:03,802
Could that happen?
605
00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:05,003
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
606
00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:06,478
- Gotta let him in.
- How's my hair?
607
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:09,710
- What do you mean?
- It doesn't matter. Let's do this. Okay.
608
00:30:09,874 --> 00:30:11,410
Ready?
609
00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:15,019
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
610
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:19,655
[IN DEEP VOICE]
Yeah?
611
00:30:19,951 --> 00:30:20,986
Are you Dale?
612
00:30:22,987 --> 00:30:25,900
- I am the one they call Dale.
- Hmm.
613
00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:28,134
Please come in.
614
00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:30,138
MAN:
Thank you.
615
00:30:33,298 --> 00:30:36,006
Are all three of you participating in this?
616
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,271
DALE: Yes.
NICK: Well, um....
617
00:30:37,435 --> 00:30:39,312
KURT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Yep.
DALE: Yes.
618
00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:41,108
Very well.
619
00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:43,980
Now, before we go any further...
620
00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:47,612
...I need to know if there are
any hidden recording devices in the room.
621
00:30:47,779 --> 00:30:49,725
I will find out if there are.
622
00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:53,488
I'm sure you would, but there's none
because that would be stupid of us.
623
00:30:53,651 --> 00:30:55,722
- That's a silly move.
- It's a no.
624
00:30:57,589 --> 00:30:59,500
Then let's get started.
625
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,837
- I love this guy.
- This is the real deal.
626
00:31:03,995 --> 00:31:05,997
- His voice, you kidding?
- This guy is legit.
627
00:31:06,164 --> 00:31:09,441
And you do know that
we just wanna start with a--?
628
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,780
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, wait, what's this for?
629
00:31:12,937 --> 00:31:14,382
- For the mess.
- What?
630
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,143
Wouldn't wanna leave a stain, now.
631
00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:18,309
- Oh, my God. I knew it.
- Who's first?
632
00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:20,820
- "Who's first"? No.
- We don't want you to kill us.
633
00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:24,119
We want you to kill another person.
If anyone's first, probably him.
634
00:31:24,282 --> 00:31:25,317
KURT:
No. Goddamn it.
635
00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:27,963
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
what are you talking about?
636
00:31:28,953 --> 00:31:30,899
Your ad said you do wet work.
637
00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:34,195
That's correct.
I urinate on other men for money.
638
00:31:34,492 --> 00:31:35,903
- What was that?
- What'd he say?
639
00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:37,698
I think he said he pisses on dudes.
640
00:31:38,363 --> 00:31:41,503
Why else do you think my ad was
in the "men seeking men" section?
641
00:31:42,934 --> 00:31:43,969
Where was it?
642
00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:46,012
- You fucking idiot.
- Could you be dumber?
643
00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:49,379
- Why look in the "men seeking men"--?
- We are men looking for a man!
644
00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,486
How do people
let you work on their teeth?
645
00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:54,123
They don't, actually.
I just hand the tools to Julia.
646
00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:58,591
Are you telling me that I've driven all this
way and nobody wants to get pissed on?
647
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,252
NICK: Uh-uh.
-Well, it's not our thing.
648
00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:01,453
Sorry about that.
649
00:32:01,619 --> 00:32:04,964
Can I use your toilet? I stored up
rather a large amount of pee for this.
650
00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:07,899
Sure. Yeah, it's right through there.
Knock yourself out.
651
00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:10,903
Oh, and by the way,
I still will want my $200.
652
00:32:11,062 --> 00:32:12,370
-Understandable.
KURT: We insist.
653
00:32:12,530 --> 00:32:14,806
- Two hundred, huh? A bargain.
- To kill three people?
654
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:17,037
- I thought it was such a good deal.
- Dipshit.
655
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:20,774
- Reflects poorly on me that you're my friend.
- Hear what's going on in there?
656
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,350
That was almost all over us.
657
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:28,851
DALE: Okay, I'm gonna
take the blame on that one.
658
00:32:29,013 --> 00:32:31,550
- You bet your ass you will.
- You should take the blame.
659
00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:34,560
- It was an honest mistake.
- That's not how you find a killer.
660
00:32:34,719 --> 00:32:37,256
- Oh, you know how to find a killer?
- Yeah, I bet I--
661
00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,698
Yeah, hey, you know what?
Yeah. I got an idea.
662
00:32:39,857 --> 00:32:40,961
DALE:
What are you doing?
663
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:42,160
What are you doing?
664
00:32:42,327 --> 00:32:44,273
GREGORY [OVER SPEAKER]:
<i>Good evening, Mr. Buckman.</i>
665
00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:46,705
<i>Thank you for contacting Nav Guide.</i>
<i>My name is Gregory.</i>
666
00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:48,605
<i>How may I be of service this evening?</i>
667
00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:52,646
Yeah, we're looking for the most dangerous
bar in the city. Can you help us, please?
668
00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:54,681
-We're going to dinner.
GREGORY: <i>I'm sorry?</i>
669
00:32:54,839 --> 00:32:58,343
Looking for a bar filled with criminals.
Lowlife thugs, hard-core shitheads.
670
00:32:58,509 --> 00:33:00,853
- What do you got for us?
- Let's go to a restaurant.
671
00:33:01,012 --> 00:33:04,721
GREGORY: <i>I'm afraid our listings</i>
<i>are not organized by danger, sir.</i>
672
00:33:04,882 --> 00:33:07,863
<i>I see there's an Applebee's</i>
<i>three blocks from your location.</i>
673
00:33:08,019 --> 00:33:09,555
-Perfect.
KURT: No, not really helpful.
674
00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:12,395
They're not the kind of shitheads
we need. Anything else?
675
00:33:12,557 --> 00:33:14,434
GREGORY: <i>I could direct you</i>
<i>to a neighborhood...</i>
676
00:33:14,592 --> 00:33:16,265
<i>...with the greatest</i>
<i>number of carjackings.</i>
677
00:33:16,427 --> 00:33:19,237
- Now we're thinking outside the box.
- I wanna go to dinner.
678
00:33:19,397 --> 00:33:20,899
-Love it.
DALE: That's probably right.
679
00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:24,274
GREGORY: <i>Very good, sir.</i>
<i>You may wish to lock your doors.</i>
680
00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:29,347
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
681
00:33:31,209 --> 00:33:33,120
-This is worse than getting pissed on.
KURT: Shh.
682
00:33:33,277 --> 00:33:35,279
- I'd rather be pissed on.
- Jesus.
683
00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:38,154
You weren't kidding, Gregory.
This is, uh, a bad part of town.
684
00:33:38,316 --> 00:33:40,626
You can stay on the line.
You're still there?
685
00:33:40,785 --> 00:33:43,766
GREGORY: <i>I'm still here, sir.</i>
-Just keep, uh, keep us on the line.
686
00:33:43,921 --> 00:33:47,266
I'm always curious about these things,
but is your real name Gregory?
687
00:33:47,425 --> 00:33:51,532
<i>Uh, no, sir. My real name is Atmanand.</i>
688
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:53,004
How do you get Gregory from that?
689
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:55,508
GREGORY:
<i>Oh. Gregory was assigned to me...</i>
690
00:33:55,666 --> 00:33:58,169
- ...<i>by Nav Guide.</i>
- Why not let you use your real name?
691
00:33:58,336 --> 00:34:01,545
GREGORY: <i>They say many Americans</i>
<i>find our real names hard to pronounce.</i>
692
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:03,686
I'm not gonna play
by their rules anymore.
693
00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:05,878
From now on,
I'm gonna call you Ahmenan.
694
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:07,955
GREGORY: <i>Atmanand.</i>
-Ammenand.
695
00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:09,921
-Atmanad.
GREGORY: <i>Atmanand</i>.
696
00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:12,561
I'm gonna call you Gregory,
that name's a nightmare.
697
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:14,890
WOMAN: Hey, baby.
NICK: Oh, boy.
698
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,760
DALE: You hurt his feelings.
KURT: I didn't.
699
00:34:16,921 --> 00:34:18,923
GREGORY:
<i>You have arrived at your destination, sir.</i>
700
00:34:19,090 --> 00:34:22,435
KURT: All right. Well, thanks, Gregory.
GREGORY: <i>You're welcome.</i>
701
00:34:25,096 --> 00:34:26,939
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
702
00:34:27,865 --> 00:34:31,244
All right. All right, here we go.
703
00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:33,980
NICK: This is a really bad idea.
KURT: This is a great idea.
704
00:34:34,138 --> 00:34:37,312
- Gonna yell "anybody here kill for money"?
- No.
705
00:34:37,475 --> 00:34:39,716
- That's a terrible plan.
- Follow me. I got this.
706
00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:42,289
- Where you going?
- I don't feel we should stay.
707
00:34:42,447 --> 00:34:44,051
All right.
708
00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:48,257
-Bowflex?
MAN: Shut up.
709
00:34:49,287 --> 00:34:50,925
[KURT SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
710
00:34:51,322 --> 00:34:52,892
Ah.
711
00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:55,262
My man.
712
00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:56,496
[CHUCKLES]
713
00:34:56,661 --> 00:34:59,801
Hey, uh, does anyone here
kill people for money?
714
00:34:59,964 --> 00:35:01,466
- Kurt.
- The ffffffff yyyyyyy just say?
715
00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:03,043
No, it's not a race thing.
716
00:35:03,201 --> 00:35:06,512
Uh, I believe that society discriminates
and disenfranchises you folks.
717
00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:07,877
BARTENDER: "You folks"?
-Subtle.
718
00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:11,646
Man, I'm a small-business owner.
Who the hell you calling disenfranchised?
719
00:35:11,809 --> 00:35:13,948
Well, not you in particular,
in that instance.
720
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,888
- Oh, right. You mean all black people.
- Yes.
721
00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:19,221
-I'm gonna be in the car.
DALE: Oh, a baseball bat.
722
00:35:19,383 --> 00:35:22,557
Uh, I didn't mean to offend you.
I'm sorry if that's what happened.
723
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,563
My heart's in the right place.
724
00:35:24,722 --> 00:35:27,293
In five seconds, your heart
gonna be in the wrong place.
725
00:35:27,492 --> 00:35:30,132
- Four, three, two, let's roll.
- Got it. Okay. Take care.
726
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:31,932
Have a nice day. Good day to you.
727
00:35:32,096 --> 00:35:33,871
WOMAN:
Bye, baby.
728
00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:38,810
KURT:
Don't say a word. I know, I know.
729
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:40,574
Hit the button. Hit the button.
730
00:35:40,738 --> 00:35:42,877
- Guys, I don't know. Should we quit?
- Yeah, definitely.
731
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,646
- Yo. Think I can help you boys.
- Is that for us?
732
00:35:47,345 --> 00:35:49,347
- Here we go.
- Not interested, thank you.
733
00:35:49,514 --> 00:35:50,549
Hey, hey, hey.
734
00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:51,750
[NICK SIGHS]
735
00:35:51,916 --> 00:35:54,055
Let's follow a strange guy
into a dark corner.
736
00:35:59,757 --> 00:36:02,761
Somebody said y'all looking
for somebody to help with business.
737
00:36:02,927 --> 00:36:06,136
- [IN DEEP VOICE] Yep.
- Well, um...
738
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:08,038
- ...are you a businessman?
- Yeah.
739
00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:09,678
Motherfcrrrrrrrr Jones.
740
00:36:10,301 --> 00:36:13,578
- How's that?
- Motherfcrrrrrrrr Jones.
741
00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:16,717
Your first name is "Motherfcrrrrrrrr"?
742
00:36:16,874 --> 00:36:18,945
Last name Jones.
You got a problem with that?
743
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:23,616
No. No. Cool name. Yeah. Is that,
like, on your birth certificate too?
744
00:36:23,781 --> 00:36:25,124
JONES:
No, goofball.
745
00:36:26,150 --> 00:36:27,356
My real name is Dean.
746
00:36:27,518 --> 00:36:30,226
Dean Jones. Same name of
the actor in <i>Herbie, the Love Bug</i>.
747
00:36:30,388 --> 00:36:31,594
He won't know who that is.
748
00:36:31,756 --> 00:36:33,793
- I know who he is, bitch.
- Sorry.
749
00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:37,565
I can't walk around in this fucking
neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.
750
00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:39,600
How'd you get the name
Motherfcrrrrrrrr?
751
00:36:39,764 --> 00:36:41,903
When I was a kid, I snuck
into my mother's bedroom.
752
00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:43,306
DALE: Ooh.
NICK: Uh-oh.
753
00:36:43,467 --> 00:36:44,878
- She was laying there naked.
- Dean.
754
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,777
- She had been drinking all night.
- We get it.
755
00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:50,078
And then I snuck up behind her,
and then I slipped my fingers...
756
00:36:51,576 --> 00:36:53,954
- ...into her purse.
- Purse? He said "purse."
757
00:36:54,111 --> 00:36:57,183
I took her money, the whole week's
pay. I really fucked her over.
758
00:36:57,348 --> 00:37:00,659
And that's how I got the name
Motherfcrrrrrrrr Jones.
759
00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:01,853
Right.
760
00:37:02,019 --> 00:37:05,000
They should call you Motherfcrrrrrrrr-Over
Jones to avoid confusion.
761
00:37:05,156 --> 00:37:07,295
- What's the confusion?
- There's no confusion.
762
00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:10,598
We're gonna get back on track here.
Sir, we each have a boss, uh...
763
00:37:10,761 --> 00:37:11,796
...that, you know--
764
00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:15,911
There's three bosses, and it would be best
if those bosses maybe were no longer....
765
00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:18,239
-No longer around anymore.
DALE: We want them...
766
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:21,508
NICK: You know?
-...killed.
767
00:37:22,506 --> 00:37:23,644
You got the cheese?
768
00:37:25,109 --> 00:37:27,851
We got the cheese.
What kind of cheese are you thinking?
769
00:37:28,012 --> 00:37:30,720
- What is that, three hits? That's....
- Yeah.
770
00:37:33,484 --> 00:37:35,293
-Thirty large.
KURT: Whoa.
771
00:37:35,453 --> 00:37:37,660
- Hungry.
- That's a lot of cheese.
772
00:37:37,822 --> 00:37:38,960
DALE:
Oh, here's an idea.
773
00:37:39,123 --> 00:37:41,899
If you kill two, could we get
the third one hold the cheese?
774
00:37:42,059 --> 00:37:45,268
It's no negotiations.
Thirty large or nothing.
775
00:37:45,429 --> 00:37:48,876
- That's more cheese than we've got.
- Okay, then. It's five large now.
776
00:37:51,869 --> 00:37:54,372
Then we're in. We're in. We're in. Right?
777
00:37:54,538 --> 00:37:57,644
Hang on. Wouldn't it be awful
if it was traceable back to us?
778
00:37:57,808 --> 00:37:59,185
I don't even know your names.
779
00:37:59,343 --> 00:38:01,254
- That is rude. This is Dale.
- Don't say my name.
780
00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:05,292
Shut the fuck up. Listen. Bring the money
here tomorrow, I'll take care of the rest.
781
00:38:05,449 --> 00:38:08,328
Do you want it in something specific,
a shoebox, duffel bag?
782
00:38:08,486 --> 00:38:10,898
-Just be here with the fucking money.
KURT: Yeah.
783
00:38:11,055 --> 00:38:13,433
-Put it in a briefcase.
NICK: Thanks for your time.
784
00:38:13,591 --> 00:38:14,626
Here we go.
785
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:16,794
DALE:
Is the briefcase coming out of your end?
786
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:18,201
[GRUNTS]
787
00:38:20,364 --> 00:38:22,173
[LAUGHS]
788
00:39:24,161 --> 00:39:26,038
[JULIA MAKES SQUEAKING SOUND]
789
00:39:26,731 --> 00:39:28,404
[CHUCKLES]
790
00:39:53,357 --> 00:39:54,563
Looks like it's all there.
791
00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:57,103
Didn't even need a briefcase.
It's a small stack.
792
00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:59,969
- We should have used a manila envelope.
- It's all right.
793
00:40:00,131 --> 00:40:04,011
What is your projected outside date
of completion, Motherfcrrrrrrrr?
794
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,437
[SLURPS]
795
00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:07,105
Ah.
796
00:40:07,772 --> 00:40:11,242
I just got back from doing a dime
for some real nasty shit.
797
00:40:11,542 --> 00:40:12,987
- That's 10 years.
- I know.
798
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:16,250
They're looking at me. I'm on probation,
and if I step out of line...
799
00:40:18,282 --> 00:40:19,352
...I'm going back.
800
00:40:20,050 --> 00:40:22,257
- Right.
- Understood.
801
00:40:23,053 --> 00:40:25,624
- Period? End of story?
- What does that mean?
802
00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:29,260
- Wait. You said you'd take care of this.
- Yeah, I'll take care of it.
803
00:40:31,395 --> 00:40:33,875
I'm gonna be your murder consultant.
804
00:40:34,598 --> 00:40:36,771
I'm sorry, but, uh....
805
00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:41,644
- No, man. Right? That's not cool.
- You don't shut this fucking hamster up....
806
00:40:41,806 --> 00:40:43,877
- Don't call me a hamster now. Come on.
- Easy, easy.
807
00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:46,282
- It's just upsetting.
- No, it's somewhat accurate.
808
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:48,515
Look, that is not what we talked about,
Motherfcrrrrrrrr.
809
00:40:48,679 --> 00:40:51,660
So how about we just take the money
and we'll get out of here?
810
00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:53,818
How about you go ffffffff yyyyyyyrself?
No refunds.
811
00:40:53,984 --> 00:40:57,693
That's $5000. If you think we're just gonna
walk out and let you keep that--
812
00:40:57,855 --> 00:41:00,495
-I think you're forgetting--
DALE: Don't go grabbing quickly.
813
00:41:00,658 --> 00:41:01,693
NICK:
Jesus.
814
00:41:01,859 --> 00:41:05,238
Mr. Motherfcrrrrrrrr, please,
don't shoot us. Let's just talk it out.
815
00:41:05,396 --> 00:41:07,672
Listen, $5000 is mine.
I don't care what you say.
816
00:41:07,832 --> 00:41:10,210
You can take my advice
or get the fuck out of here.
817
00:41:10,367 --> 00:41:12,540
-That's a terrible deal.
KURT: We should listen.
818
00:41:12,703 --> 00:41:14,649
-Okay, $5000 worth of advice?
JONES: Yeah.
819
00:41:14,805 --> 00:41:16,250
Most killers are first-timers.
820
00:41:16,407 --> 00:41:19,945
You wanna pull off a brilliant murder,
you gotta act like it's an accident.
821
00:41:20,110 --> 00:41:23,182
Failed brakes, gas leaks, suicide.
822
00:41:23,347 --> 00:41:26,419
You do it right, you ain't even
gotta be there when it goes down.
823
00:41:26,584 --> 00:41:29,155
Oh, boy. That's five grand worth, huh?
824
00:41:29,353 --> 00:41:32,334
- Pretty pedestrian.
- Not really. Obvious information, isn't it?
825
00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:35,801
Sounds like Scooby-Doo. How are we
supposed to fake three accidents?
826
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,030
JONES:
You stalk your prey.
827
00:41:37,194 --> 00:41:41,370
Gotta be smart. Find out where they live,
find out their habits. What's their hobbies?
828
00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:44,308
What they like, what food they like,
who they fucking.
829
00:41:44,468 --> 00:41:46,175
- Word.
- Find them vulnerable.
830
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:49,784
I have a job, you know?
What's that, surveillance and recon?
831
00:41:49,940 --> 00:41:53,581
That's why we were hiring, because
we wanna sub that out. We have jobs.
832
00:41:53,744 --> 00:41:56,315
Even if you pull it off perfectly...
833
00:41:56,647 --> 00:41:59,059
...if you crackers got motives...
834
00:41:59,216 --> 00:42:00,251
...the popo...
835
00:42:00,417 --> 00:42:02,454
- That's police.
- ...will pin it to you.
836
00:42:02,620 --> 00:42:05,226
We all have clear motives
for killing our bosses...
837
00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:08,393
...so this is not gonna work.
This is garbage.
838
00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:11,063
I got it.
839
00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:13,138
Why don't you kill each other's bosses?
840
00:42:17,902 --> 00:42:20,473
- That's actually a good idea.
- It's not bad.
841
00:42:20,638 --> 00:42:23,141
Yeah, like Hitchcock's
<i>Strangers on a Train</i>, right?
842
00:42:23,307 --> 00:42:26,220
- I didn't see that. They do that?
- Danny DeVito movie. It's funny.
843
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:29,950
That famous Alfred Hitchcock, Danny
DeVito movie. That's the one he's--
844
00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:32,390
Come on. You're thinking of
<i>Throw Momma From the Train</i>.
845
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,621
- That's what it is.
- That I saw.
846
00:42:34,785 --> 00:42:36,890
Good movie.
That's what you're thinking about.
847
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:40,399
Same idea, though. We kill
each other's bosses, there's no link to us.
848
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:42,834
Exactly. Five thousand dollars
well spent, right?
849
00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:45,303
KURT: No. Not at all.
DALE: Waste of money.
850
00:42:45,462 --> 00:42:47,135
Well, too fucking bad.
851
00:42:47,298 --> 00:42:48,572
Get out.
852
00:42:50,267 --> 00:42:52,042
[PHONE RINGS]
853
00:42:52,369 --> 00:42:53,404
Hello.
854
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:56,518
Hey. I'm outside.
You ready to do a little recon?
855
00:42:56,674 --> 00:43:01,020
Yep. Yeah. I have to get Harken
to let me leave a little bit early.
856
00:43:01,178 --> 00:43:04,159
What's the difference? Not like
he'll be your boss much longer.
857
00:43:04,481 --> 00:43:05,926
I'll be down in three minutes.
858
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:08,859
Three minutes it is. Bye.
He'll be down in three minutes.
859
00:43:09,019 --> 00:43:13,593
- Dude, these seats are crazy comfortable.
- Look at this. I know, it's so good. Ah.
860
00:43:13,991 --> 00:43:17,131
The worst report I have ever read
in my life, you nimwit.
861
00:43:17,294 --> 00:43:19,035
You're such a fucking dweeb.
862
00:43:20,531 --> 00:43:23,876
Do you have a parking space?
Because I'm gonna take it away from you.
863
00:43:24,034 --> 00:43:27,106
Who is it, like your mother-in-law
that knows my wife?
864
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,376
How you got this fucking job,
I don't even understand.
865
00:43:29,540 --> 00:43:31,144
[GAGGING]
866
00:43:33,177 --> 00:43:34,212
[MAN GROANS]
867
00:43:34,378 --> 00:43:35,789
Ugh.
868
00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:37,957
HARKEN:
What the hell?
869
00:43:38,582 --> 00:43:42,257
Sorry, everybody. I've been fighting
that bug all day. Let me get back to work.
870
00:43:42,419 --> 00:43:46,299
No, no, no. You're disgusting. Go home.
I don't want you getting anyone else sick.
871
00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:48,198
Probably best.
872
00:43:49,426 --> 00:43:52,464
Take all your work with you
and have it on my desk 6 a.m. Monday.
873
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,133
- You got it. Thank you, Mr. Harken.
- Jesus Christ.
874
00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:58,542
- Don't forget to take your fucking trash can.
- Yeah. No, that's mine.
875
00:43:58,702 --> 00:44:01,114
HARKEN:
You goddamn barfing pig.
876
00:44:06,010 --> 00:44:07,045
KURT:
Evens are over here.
877
00:44:07,211 --> 00:44:10,420
DALE: I know, but sometimes on some
streets evens are on the opposite side.
878
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:11,616
KURT:
Never.
879
00:44:11,782 --> 00:44:14,058
Never have and they never will.
There it is, 428.
880
00:44:14,218 --> 00:44:16,789
DALE: Which one, which one?
-Don't stop right in front of it.
881
00:44:16,954 --> 00:44:19,730
Stop right here. Right here, right here.
882
00:44:21,959 --> 00:44:23,336
KURT:
Okay, boys.
883
00:44:23,494 --> 00:44:28,170
We wait till Pellit makes a move,
then we tail him, all right?
884
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:29,936
- It is on like Donkey Kong.
- Ha, ha.
885
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,740
- Hells yeah, man.
- Here we go, huh?
886
00:44:32,903 --> 00:44:34,814
I'm fucking pumped.
887
00:44:36,940 --> 00:44:39,648
Oh, my God. This sucks.
888
00:44:40,144 --> 00:44:42,146
This is horrible, man.
889
00:44:43,781 --> 00:44:45,351
Are we even sure this guy's home?
890
00:44:50,454 --> 00:44:53,458
- Let's go check this out.
- Yeah, we should probably look, right?
891
00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:56,394
NICK:
Shh.
892
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:57,664
Oh, my God.
893
00:44:57,828 --> 00:44:59,637
What do you wanna do?
What's the plan?
894
00:44:59,797 --> 00:45:03,438
- Let's look through this window right here.
- No, no. No, let's ring the bell.
895
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,706
You're not gonna ring the bell.
Look through the window right here.
896
00:45:06,870 --> 00:45:10,147
Chances are, he's not home.
I haven't seen any activity in this house--
897
00:45:10,307 --> 00:45:13,288
What are you doing?
You're not gonna ring the doorbell.
898
00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:15,583
[CAR ENGINE STARTS AND REVS]
899
00:45:15,746 --> 00:45:18,090
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO]
900
00:45:18,816 --> 00:45:20,295
BOBBY:
Whoo-hoo!
901
00:45:20,851 --> 00:45:23,024
-Come on. Come on.
NICK: Dale, Dale, Dale.
902
00:45:25,622 --> 00:45:27,260
[GRUNTING]
903
00:45:29,827 --> 00:45:31,773
I didn't make it in.
904
00:45:35,699 --> 00:45:38,202
I'm sorry, guys. Didn't make it in.
905
00:45:38,368 --> 00:45:39,472
NICK:
You in?
906
00:45:39,636 --> 00:45:43,106
Yeah, I'm okay. Jesus Christ,
the guy owns a fucking bear?
907
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,013
- We're breaking and entering here.
- I know. Shh. Oh, look at this.
908
00:45:47,911 --> 00:45:50,721
Look at this place. It's awful.
It's like a douchebag museum.
909
00:45:52,216 --> 00:45:54,992
It's like we stepped inside
the mind of an asshole.
910
00:45:55,152 --> 00:45:56,187
[DALE CHUCKLES]
911
00:45:56,353 --> 00:45:57,627
Shit. He's got a foosball table.
912
00:45:57,788 --> 00:46:00,530
Dale! Don't touch anything.
Get your hands off that.
913
00:46:01,325 --> 00:46:02,998
- Fingerprints.
- Yeah, fingerprints.
914
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,471
-God. We should be wearing gloves.
KURT: We don't have-- Oh, here. I know.
915
00:46:06,630 --> 00:46:08,507
Use your sleeves. Use your sleeves.
916
00:46:08,665 --> 00:46:10,372
- For what?
- Use them for gloves.
917
00:46:10,534 --> 00:46:13,481
- Come on.
- I can see my fingerprints from here.
918
00:46:13,637 --> 00:46:16,618
- What do we do? What's the plan?
- We're here to get some intel.
919
00:46:16,774 --> 00:46:18,651
- "Intel"?
- It's short for "intelligence."
920
00:46:18,809 --> 00:46:21,346
- I know what it stands for.
- Then why did you ask?
921
00:46:21,578 --> 00:46:23,888
Why are we talking
about this? Let's split up.
922
00:46:24,047 --> 00:46:27,824
In and out, in and out. We'll find something
good, and we're in and out of here.
923
00:46:27,985 --> 00:46:31,626
NICK: Stop chatting and start looking.
-We're committing a crime. This is a crime.
924
00:46:32,055 --> 00:46:33,625
Whoa.
925
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:38,507
-Nick.
NICK: Yeah?
926
00:46:38,662 --> 00:46:42,200
- Now, this would count as intel, right?
- Holy shit, that's a lot of cocaine.
927
00:46:42,366 --> 00:46:44,243
DALE:
Have you ever seen this much cocaine?
928
00:46:44,401 --> 00:46:46,540
That's gotta be worth,
what, 10, 15,000--?
929
00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:51,316
Oh, I blew it. I blew that, didn't I?
930
00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:54,412
Hmm.
931
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:08,963
NICK: Don't inhale.
-Grab the box. I'll scoop it in.
932
00:47:09,126 --> 00:47:11,902
I really don't wanna touch it.
I don't have sleeve-gloves.
933
00:47:12,062 --> 00:47:14,406
Get something to-- Ugh. I'll scoop it in.
934
00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:15,805
So bitter.
935
00:47:23,473 --> 00:47:25,214
Hmm.
936
00:47:32,816 --> 00:47:35,592
In the butt you go, go, go.
937
00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:39,161
There you go.
938
00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:40,391
DALE:
Big scoop.
939
00:47:40,557 --> 00:47:42,628
All right, let me try this. Look out.
940
00:47:42,793 --> 00:47:44,739
- Yeah, that better work.
- Watch out.
941
00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:47,099
DALE:
There you go.
942
00:47:47,264 --> 00:47:48,607
NICK: I don't know.
DALE: Go slow.
943
00:47:48,765 --> 00:47:52,303
Get on the couch. Stop helping.
944
00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:55,544
[DALE COUGHING]
945
00:47:56,740 --> 00:47:58,777
All right.
946
00:48:00,978 --> 00:48:02,355
In you go.
947
00:48:02,512 --> 00:48:03,855
[CHUCKLES]
948
00:48:04,648 --> 00:48:05,786
Ooh.
949
00:48:12,322 --> 00:48:15,496
You probably should have
emptied the DustBuster first.
950
00:48:19,496 --> 00:48:20,566
Is that what you think?
951
00:48:20,764 --> 00:48:23,176
I was thinking that.
On account of the dust.
952
00:48:26,036 --> 00:48:29,108
Well, I've heard of butt floss,
but this is ridiculous. Ha, ha.
953
00:48:29,273 --> 00:48:30,980
- Get a sifter, or a--
- Colander.
954
00:48:31,141 --> 00:48:33,178
Colander would be good.
955
00:48:33,410 --> 00:48:35,412
And I'll start picking.
956
00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:38,153
[SNIFFS]
957
00:48:40,150 --> 00:48:41,754
That'll do.
958
00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:48,859
I feel like everything'll work out.
I'm like a machine. Look how fast I am.
959
00:48:49,026 --> 00:48:51,302
I'm moving super fast.
I can't even feel my nose.
960
00:48:51,461 --> 00:48:53,737
Wanna know what's weird?
I should be panicking...
961
00:48:53,897 --> 00:48:56,275
...and I am a little,
but it's in a very good way.
962
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:59,209
It's a good kind of panic
because I feel like I wanna die...
963
00:48:59,369 --> 00:49:01,645
- ...but I also feel very, very, very good.
- Yeah.
964
00:49:01,805 --> 00:49:03,716
Hey! What are you guys doing?
965
00:49:03,874 --> 00:49:06,480
Nothing. But before we go,
I wanna take one more dump.
966
00:49:06,643 --> 00:49:09,817
Take a dump and I'm gonna
do push-ups. Because I gotta get fit.
967
00:49:10,380 --> 00:49:12,223
What the hell have you guys done?
968
00:49:12,382 --> 00:49:13,417
[DALE GRUNTS]
969
00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:15,426
I'm feeling good, dude.
Wanna help me clean?
970
00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:17,587
We bond over this.
This is friendship stuff.
971
00:49:17,754 --> 00:49:21,224
We broke into someone's house.
It's the most amazing experience of my life.
972
00:49:21,391 --> 00:49:25,271
We broke into a man's house. Suddenly,
I'm like an expert at sifting cocaine.
973
00:49:25,429 --> 00:49:27,534
It's amazing.
Come here and help me with this.
974
00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:29,402
Can't believe we weren't prepared.
975
00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:31,910
That was completely dangerous,
a total waste of time.
976
00:49:32,069 --> 00:49:35,482
Well, no. Actually, not a total waste
of time. Look what I got.
977
00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:37,016
- Not bad, huh?
- What is that?
978
00:49:37,174 --> 00:49:39,085
-Is this his phone?
KURT: That's his phone.
979
00:49:39,242 --> 00:49:40,687
-You steal this?
KURT: I sure did.
980
00:49:40,844 --> 00:49:43,222
- It's got his contacts, schedule.
- Very nice.
981
00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:44,688
- No.
- What do you mean, "no"?
982
00:49:44,848 --> 00:49:47,886
That's a crime. Pfft. Nope. Ha.
No one said we'd be stealing.
983
00:49:48,051 --> 00:49:50,725
- This is a good grab.
- We broke in! You guys did cocaine!
984
00:49:50,887 --> 00:49:53,834
- Right. Two-- Three crimes.
- He's all jitzed out. Ignore him.
985
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:56,801
We're in the process of
getting ready to kill three people...
986
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,372
...and you're giving me shit
about stealing a phone?
987
00:49:59,529 --> 00:50:01,600
Run it by me
if you'll be stealing stuff.
988
00:50:01,765 --> 00:50:03,176
- Run it by you?
- Run it by me!
989
00:50:03,333 --> 00:50:06,439
- Nick, will you hold this for a second?
- What are you doing?
990
00:50:06,603 --> 00:50:09,015
"Run"? I'm not gonna run
anything by you.
991
00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:11,584
I'm not gonna run anything by you.
Dickhead.
992
00:50:11,742 --> 00:50:14,348
- There's a lot of stuff in here.
- I know.
993
00:50:14,511 --> 00:50:17,651
- Wanna go check out your boss now?
- Yeah, I guess we should.
994
00:50:18,582 --> 00:50:21,586
- You don't punch the driver!
- You don't punch the fucking driver.
995
00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:25,199
I'm coked out of my fucking brain.
I'll punch whoever the fuck I want to.
996
00:50:41,471 --> 00:50:43,473
Let's do this, guys. Feeling good.
997
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,314
- Be very quiet out there.
- Calm down, Dale.
998
00:50:46,476 --> 00:50:48,217
NICK:
You know what? Hang on a second.
999
00:50:48,412 --> 00:50:52,292
Dale? Dude, hold it. Last time the three
of us did this, it was very messy.
1000
00:50:52,449 --> 00:50:54,725
- It was awesome, exciting.
- It was clunky as hell.
1001
00:50:54,918 --> 00:50:58,889
Here's what we'll do. In the event that
Harken is not here, just me and Kurt go in.
1002
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:01,502
You'll stay out here, not go in,
and be our lookout.
1003
00:51:01,658 --> 00:51:04,662
What? Are you kidding me?
That's awesome. I love that. The lookout.
1004
00:51:04,828 --> 00:51:06,967
- I don't know what the guy looks like.
- Doesn't matter.
1005
00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:10,270
You see anybody, just assume
that it's Harken, send us a signal.
1006
00:51:10,434 --> 00:51:12,107
- Okay? Have a seat.
- Okay.
1007
00:51:12,269 --> 00:51:15,910
Okay. Send a sig--
I'm gonna honk the horn six times.
1008
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:17,711
- Goddamn it. No.
- Did he say "six"?
1009
00:51:17,874 --> 00:51:20,252
- Something much more subtle.
- That's too many.
1010
00:51:20,410 --> 00:51:22,856
- More subtle? Four honks?
- Can you honk once?
1011
00:51:23,013 --> 00:51:24,492
- Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
1012
00:51:24,648 --> 00:51:27,094
People honk once all the time.
You'll be in and out--
1013
00:51:27,250 --> 00:51:30,322
- We'll know it's you.
- Come on, man. Dale, two honks.
1014
00:51:30,487 --> 00:51:33,696
That kind of tone's gonna get you nowhere.
All right, two honks.
1015
00:51:33,857 --> 00:51:36,531
- Just two honks. A little tap, tap.
- Okay.
1016
00:51:36,693 --> 00:51:41,142
Two very long, very slow honks.
1017
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:46,377
- I'm gonna check this window over here.
- Okay.
1018
00:51:50,173 --> 00:51:54,212
NICK: There's nothing on that side.
-Yeah. I don't think there's anyone in there.
1019
00:51:54,744 --> 00:51:57,190
I think he's definitely out.
1020
00:51:57,714 --> 00:51:59,557
Maybe we can find a way in upstairs.
1021
00:52:00,083 --> 00:52:03,155
Yeah, or maybe there's a window open.
1022
00:52:07,057 --> 00:52:09,037
Or better yet....
1023
00:52:09,626 --> 00:52:11,128
That makes things easier, huh?
1024
00:52:11,294 --> 00:52:13,399
I like the way you think. Move.
1025
00:52:13,563 --> 00:52:15,509
- No, don't do that. Hey! God!
- Oh, shit.
1026
00:52:16,032 --> 00:52:17,067
I broke a rock.
1027
00:52:17,234 --> 00:52:19,874
Please tell me you realize
that was a key thingy.
1028
00:52:20,036 --> 00:52:23,074
KURT:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1029
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:25,481
You weren't gonna
throw a rock through the door?
1030
00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:27,644
No, of course not.
No, I wanted to open it.
1031
00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:30,052
Like a real cat burglar.
1032
00:52:32,349 --> 00:52:34,295
KURT:
Wow.
1033
00:52:34,618 --> 00:52:36,723
NICK:
Just recon, now, okay?
1034
00:52:36,887 --> 00:52:40,391
Hey, take this. I don't want it.
I want my hands free.
1035
00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:42,366
You broke it.
1036
00:52:48,899 --> 00:52:49,934
I feel the intel--
1037
00:52:50,100 --> 00:52:51,135
[CAT SCREECHES]
1038
00:52:51,301 --> 00:52:52,803
NICK: God!
-Okay, just a cat.
1039
00:52:52,969 --> 00:52:54,004
Out of nowhere.
1040
00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:57,709
Just a cat. We're all right.
Let's look upstairs. Come on.
1041
00:52:58,241 --> 00:53:00,221
[SINGING ALONG TO SONG ON STEREO]
<i>They call me hell</i>
1042
00:53:00,377 --> 00:53:01,651
<i>They call me Stacey</i>
1043
00:53:01,811 --> 00:53:03,950
<i>That's not my name</i>
<i>That's not my name</i>
1044
00:53:04,114 --> 00:53:07,027
<i>That's not my name</i>
<i>That's not my name</i>
1045
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,322
<i>They call me hell</i>
1046
00:53:08,485 --> 00:53:09,657
<i>They call me her</i>
1047
00:53:09,819 --> 00:53:11,127
<i>They call me hell</i>
1048
00:53:11,288 --> 00:53:12,562
<i>They call me Stacey</i>
1049
00:53:12,722 --> 00:53:15,396
<i>That's not my name</i>
<i>That's not my name</i>
1050
00:53:24,067 --> 00:53:25,239
[CAT SCREECHES]
1051
00:53:25,402 --> 00:53:27,109
Oh! Goddamn it.
1052
00:53:27,270 --> 00:53:28,943
Jesus, how many cats do they have?
1053
00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:31,244
- It's the same one, I think. Yeah.
- Really?
1054
00:53:31,841 --> 00:53:33,752
Quick little bugger, huh?
1055
00:53:33,910 --> 00:53:34,945
Hey.
1056
00:53:35,111 --> 00:53:37,614
-Shit, is that Harken's wife?
NICK: Yeah, that's her.
1057
00:53:37,781 --> 00:53:40,091
- Oh, man, she is hot.
- She sure is. Here we go.
1058
00:53:40,250 --> 00:53:43,356
I'd like to bend her over a barrel
and show her the 50 states.
1059
00:53:43,653 --> 00:53:46,395
- I don't know what that means.
- Ah, it's a saying.
1060
00:53:46,556 --> 00:53:50,003
- I don't think so.
- No, it is, it is. Yeah. No, people say that.
1061
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,936
- I haven't heard it.
- I've definitely heard people say that.
1062
00:53:53,096 --> 00:53:55,303
I'm not gonna argue.
Let's continue the recon.
1063
00:53:55,465 --> 00:53:58,378
KURT: Well, it's definitely a phrase.
-It sure isn't.
1064
00:53:58,535 --> 00:54:01,744
KURT: Yeah, it is. It's from a book.
<i>The Great Gatsby, maybe?</i>
1065
00:54:01,905 --> 00:54:05,717
Let's just look for an address book
or a day planner or something. You know?
1066
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:09,823
You know, it's too bad we're not looking
for cats. These people fucking love cats.
1067
00:54:10,981 --> 00:54:12,688
[GAME CHARACTER YELLS]
1068
00:54:15,484 --> 00:54:17,157
[CHUCKLES]
1069
00:54:20,389 --> 00:54:22,266
[CHUCKLING]
1070
00:54:23,292 --> 00:54:25,363
[HARKEN PANTING]
1071
00:54:27,496 --> 00:54:29,169
[DALE CHUCKLING]
1072
00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:33,135
Hey, schmuckface.
1073
00:54:36,238 --> 00:54:40,653
You wanna tell me what you're doing
littering on my street?
1074
00:54:40,809 --> 00:54:44,279
I think what happened, ahem, was that
the wind blew it out of my hand.
1075
00:54:44,446 --> 00:54:46,790
I don't care if the wind
blew it out of your twat.
1076
00:54:46,949 --> 00:54:51,125
Why don't you take this piece-of-shit car
and get off my fucking block.
1077
00:54:51,286 --> 00:54:55,132
I don't know why you're mad at the car.
I don't think we should get hostile now.
1078
00:54:55,290 --> 00:54:57,133
"Hostile"? You wanna see hostile?
1079
00:54:57,292 --> 00:54:58,999
How about I go in my house
and I get my--?
1080
00:54:59,161 --> 00:55:00,196
[HARKEN GASPING]
1081
00:55:00,362 --> 00:55:01,841
What are--?
What's going on with you?
1082
00:55:03,065 --> 00:55:04,544
Peanuts.
1083
00:55:04,733 --> 00:55:06,474
"Penis"?
1084
00:55:07,102 --> 00:55:08,513
Oh, peanuts.
1085
00:55:08,670 --> 00:55:11,844
That was a peanut butter sandwich.
Are you not good with peanuts?
1086
00:55:12,007 --> 00:55:14,851
What are you pointing at?
What's going on? What's here?
1087
00:55:15,344 --> 00:55:17,346
Oh, I got it! What do I do? What do I do?
1088
00:55:17,813 --> 00:55:21,158
"Check the needle, pump back, pump--"
Okay, hold on. I'm a slow reader.
1089
00:55:21,316 --> 00:55:22,818
"Hold the pump--" Okay, okay!
1090
00:55:22,985 --> 00:55:25,522
Jab it in your chest. Okay.
I got you, dude. Ready?
1091
00:55:27,322 --> 00:55:28,858
[BOTH YELL]
1092
00:55:30,025 --> 00:55:31,231
How you feeling, you good?
1093
00:55:31,393 --> 00:55:33,703
You good? Did I get you? Did I get you?
1094
00:55:36,899 --> 00:55:40,108
Whoa. Whoa. Dude, come here. Hurry.
1095
00:55:40,269 --> 00:55:41,805
Look at this.
1096
00:55:42,738 --> 00:55:44,046
[GRUNTING]
1097
00:55:44,206 --> 00:55:46,846
- Is that Harken? Dale's killing Harken?
- That's Harken?
1098
00:55:47,009 --> 00:55:48,852
I'm gonna hit you again, okay?
1099
00:55:49,878 --> 00:55:51,789
NICK: What is he doing?
-He's really doing it?
1100
00:55:51,947 --> 00:55:54,257
- This is the recon stage.
- Holy shit.
1101
00:55:54,416 --> 00:55:57,056
We gotta get out of here.
Come on, we gotta go. Oh, God.
1102
00:56:00,222 --> 00:56:01,326
I'm pushing on it. Okay.
1103
00:56:01,490 --> 00:56:02,525
[HARKEN GROANING]
1104
00:56:02,691 --> 00:56:05,297
What about little jabs? Little jabs?
1105
00:56:05,494 --> 00:56:06,734
Do I get your neck?
1106
00:56:07,195 --> 00:56:08,606
[HARKEN YELLS]
1107
00:56:08,764 --> 00:56:10,300
DALE:
Was that good?
1108
00:56:13,502 --> 00:56:15,140
Come on, man!
1109
00:56:15,304 --> 00:56:16,339
RHONDA:
Oh, my God.
1110
00:56:16,572 --> 00:56:17,778
DALE:
Hey, hey! Come here!
1111
00:56:17,940 --> 00:56:21,319
What's going on? What are you doing?
What's happened?
1112
00:56:21,476 --> 00:56:24,047
I think he's okay! I hit him
with this. Do you know him?
1113
00:56:24,212 --> 00:56:27,682
Of course, he's my husband. Sweetie?
Honey? Sweetheart, are you okay?
1114
00:56:27,849 --> 00:56:30,159
[HARKEN MOANING
AND RHONDA SHRIEKING]
1115
00:56:30,319 --> 00:56:32,993
- There he is. Hey.
- Ah. What did you do to me?
1116
00:56:33,155 --> 00:56:36,136
I saved you with your thingy.
It was incredible.
1117
00:56:36,291 --> 00:56:38,669
Oh, my God, sweetie.
He saved your life.
1118
00:56:38,827 --> 00:56:39,897
You saved his life.
1119
00:56:40,729 --> 00:56:42,299
Okay. That's cool.
1120
00:56:42,464 --> 00:56:44,501
- What's with the hugging?
- Saved your life!
1121
00:56:44,666 --> 00:56:49,172
Oh, sweetie, I am just so grateful
that he was here. You could have died.
1122
00:56:49,338 --> 00:56:51,682
-I'm sure you are grateful he's here.
RHONDA: Yes, I am.
1123
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,649
- You know this guy?
- No, I don't.
1124
00:56:53,809 --> 00:56:57,154
Are you fucking this guy? What were
you doing, waiting to fuck my wife?
1125
00:56:57,312 --> 00:57:00,054
Dude, I just met your wife.
You want your thing back?
1126
00:57:02,217 --> 00:57:04,094
- You better get out of here.
- No problem.
1127
00:57:04,252 --> 00:57:06,425
Dave. Dave, what are you--? Honey?
1128
00:57:06,588 --> 00:57:10,365
Honey, you should be thanking this young
man. Why are you being so suspicious?
1129
00:57:10,525 --> 00:57:12,368
HARKEN:
Why? You know why I'm being suspicious.
1130
00:57:12,527 --> 00:57:14,006
Because I know you sleep
around on me.
1131
00:57:14,162 --> 00:57:15,197
[HORN HONKS TWICE]
1132
00:57:15,364 --> 00:57:16,399
RHONDA:
That's ridiculous.
1133
00:57:16,565 --> 00:57:18,203
HARKEN: What about the way
you look at Maurilio?
1134
00:57:20,435 --> 00:57:23,348
You realize we're all going to jail
because of that idiot?
1135
00:57:23,505 --> 00:57:26,543
Man, I can't go to jail. Look at me.
I'll get raped like crazy.
1136
00:57:26,708 --> 00:57:27,948
Fuck, me too.
1137
00:57:29,211 --> 00:57:30,952
Yeah, totally.
1138
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,087
I'd get raped just as much
as you would, Kurt.
1139
00:57:34,249 --> 00:57:36,525
- Do you think you're more rape-able?
- I'm not saying that.
1140
00:57:36,685 --> 00:57:37,720
[TIRES SCREECH]
1141
00:57:37,886 --> 00:57:40,059
- You're pretty close to saying--
- Oh, fuck.
1142
00:57:45,394 --> 00:57:46,668
[LAUGHING]
1143
00:57:46,828 --> 00:57:49,331
Holy shit.
Did you guys see me out there?
1144
00:57:49,498 --> 00:57:50,977
Yeah, we saw you, Dale.
1145
00:57:51,133 --> 00:57:53,113
Shh. Yeah, we saw that.
1146
00:57:53,268 --> 00:57:54,542
How cool was that?
1147
00:57:54,703 --> 00:57:57,479
It wasn't cool at all.
We come out to gather information...
1148
00:57:57,639 --> 00:58:00,916
...and you start stabbing Harken to death
in front of the neighborhood?
1149
00:58:01,076 --> 00:58:03,317
- Harken?
- Who'd you think you were stabbing?
1150
00:58:03,478 --> 00:58:04,650
I wasn't stabbing anyone.
1151
00:58:04,813 --> 00:58:08,522
He had an allergic reaction to some peanuts
and I rescued him, know what I mean?
1152
00:58:08,684 --> 00:58:10,686
He had a little allergy shot on him
and I--
1153
00:58:10,886 --> 00:58:13,924
I mean, I jabbed him with that,
but I was just saving his life.
1154
00:58:14,089 --> 00:58:15,864
-Saved a man's life.
NICK: Hang on a second.
1155
00:58:16,024 --> 00:58:18,595
So my boss, who we're
thinking about planning to kill...
1156
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,263
...is dying in front of you
and you saved his life?
1157
00:58:21,430 --> 00:58:23,876
Well, that sounds bad
when you say it like that.
1158
00:58:24,032 --> 00:58:26,308
- Can you open the door?
- That's not cool.
1159
00:58:26,468 --> 00:58:29,005
-But I didn't know it was Harken.
NICK: Hit the button.
1160
00:58:29,171 --> 00:58:31,447
This is why I need to know
what people look like.
1161
00:58:31,606 --> 00:58:33,279
You're mad at me for killing him....
1162
00:58:33,442 --> 00:58:35,422
Can we give him a time-out?
For one second.
1163
00:58:35,577 --> 00:58:37,818
Make up your fucking mind. It's like--
1164
00:58:37,979 --> 00:58:39,014
What is this?
1165
00:58:39,181 --> 00:58:41,525
You gotta admit
we got some good intel tonight.
1166
00:58:41,683 --> 00:58:45,096
Harken is allergic to peanuts
and Pellit's got a huge stash of cocaine.
1167
00:58:45,253 --> 00:58:46,527
Are you playing this game?
1168
00:58:46,688 --> 00:58:50,864
So all we gotta do is figure a way to get
peanuts somewhere into Harken's house...
1169
00:58:51,026 --> 00:58:52,972
...and put some poison in Pellit's coke.
1170
00:58:53,128 --> 00:58:56,268
It's easy for someone to think
Pellit got a bad batch of cocaine.
1171
00:58:56,431 --> 00:58:59,537
You seriously locking me
out of the car like we're in 8th grade?
1172
00:58:59,701 --> 00:59:02,443
What about Harken? Probably
always got that injector thing.
1173
00:59:02,604 --> 00:59:03,981
Doesn't shower with it.
1174
00:59:04,139 --> 00:59:06,449
So then we'll put some peanuts
inside his shampoo.
1175
00:59:06,641 --> 00:59:09,315
A couple of fatal accidents
we're not even there for.
1176
00:59:09,478 --> 00:59:12,015
- Motherfcrrrrrrrr Jones would be so proud.
- Yeah, he would.
1177
00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:14,854
- Getting old.
- What do you do about dummy's boss?
1178
00:59:15,016 --> 00:59:17,656
I'll stake her out tomorrow
and get to the bottom of it.
1179
00:59:17,819 --> 00:59:20,698
DALE: A man has his limits.
-That left a fucking dent.
1180
00:59:23,091 --> 00:59:24,832
Get him fucking home.
1181
00:59:24,993 --> 00:59:29,066
Very funny. That was very funny, guys.
1182
00:59:29,231 --> 00:59:31,734
We have one thing to figure out,
if you can help us.
1183
00:59:31,900 --> 00:59:35,279
If Nick and I were in prison,
who do you think would get raped more?
1184
00:59:36,071 --> 00:59:37,311
Nick.
1185
00:59:37,472 --> 00:59:40,453
Really? Why?
1186
00:59:40,675 --> 00:59:43,713
It's about weakness and vulnerability.
It's not a looks thing.
1187
00:59:43,879 --> 00:59:45,085
It probably would be Nick.
1188
00:59:45,247 --> 00:59:48,490
DALE: Getting locked out of the car
is bullshit, man.
1189
01:00:32,861 --> 01:00:34,772
That's an awesome deal.
1190
01:00:40,569 --> 01:00:43,641
Jesus, Dale. It's a murder,
not a cocktail party.
1191
01:00:43,805 --> 01:00:46,251
I know. You don't have to
announce that to the world.
1192
01:00:46,408 --> 01:00:49,412
There was a great deal on nuts.
I'm not gonna pass up on savings.
1193
01:00:49,578 --> 01:00:50,784
Okay, so this is it.
1194
01:00:50,946 --> 01:00:55,190
I'm doing Pellit, you're gonna do Harken,
and you'll get some intel from Julia, right?
1195
01:00:55,417 --> 01:00:57,920
- Copy that.
- Okay. See you on the other side.
1196
01:01:28,316 --> 01:01:29,761
KURT:
Okay.
1197
01:01:34,322 --> 01:01:36,199
BOBBY: Thank you, Kimmy.
KIMMY: You're welcome.
1198
01:01:36,925 --> 01:01:37,960
BOBBY:
That was great.
1199
01:01:38,126 --> 01:01:40,436
KIMMY: See you next time.
BOBBY: Yeah.
1200
01:01:40,595 --> 01:01:43,974
-Thank you, Bill.
BILL: Thank you, Bobby.
1201
01:01:51,773 --> 01:01:53,377
KURT:
What?
1202
01:01:54,009 --> 01:01:55,317
Whew.
1203
01:01:56,211 --> 01:01:57,246
Oh.
1204
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:00,621
[KURT CHUCKLES]
1205
01:02:03,385 --> 01:02:04,420
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
1206
01:02:04,586 --> 01:02:05,929
Shit.
1207
01:02:07,656 --> 01:02:09,567
-Hey.
NICK: <i>How's it going over there?</i>
1208
01:02:09,925 --> 01:02:13,065
-What do you know about Julia?
KURT: <i>I learned I gotta switch dentists...</i>
1209
01:02:13,228 --> 01:02:15,230
...because this woman
is unbelievably hot.
1210
01:02:15,397 --> 01:02:18,606
- <i>How's it going over there?</i>
- Uh, it's--
1211
01:02:18,900 --> 01:02:23,406
Just-- I'm waiting for, you know,
Pellit to sleep or leave or....
1212
01:02:23,571 --> 01:02:26,051
Just-- Just waiting.
1213
01:02:26,207 --> 01:02:28,949
Wonder what, uh,
Dale's doing with Harken.
1214
01:02:29,110 --> 01:02:30,851
NOAH [ON VIDEO]:
<i>It's gonna be really hard.</i>
1215
01:02:31,012 --> 01:02:34,858
<i>And we'll have to work at this every day,</i>
<i>but I wanna do that because I want you.</i>
1216
01:02:35,016 --> 01:02:38,361
<i>I want all of you forever, you and me,</i>
<i>every day--</i>
1217
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:40,261
[ALLIE CHUCKLES ON VIDEO]
1218
01:02:43,692 --> 01:02:45,171
[SNIFFS]
1219
01:02:53,835 --> 01:02:56,008
[CARL DOUGLAS' "KUNG FU FIGHTING"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]
1220
01:02:56,171 --> 01:02:58,447
<i>Everybody was kung-fu fighting</i>
1221
01:02:59,841 --> 01:03:03,118
<i>Everybody was kung-fu fighting</i>
1222
01:03:05,213 --> 01:03:06,817
HARKEN:
Give me that.
1223
01:03:06,982 --> 01:03:08,723
Give it to me.
1224
01:03:27,202 --> 01:03:31,173
Jesus. Where does this guy
get the energy?
1225
01:03:34,409 --> 01:03:36,013
Oh, yeah.
1226
01:03:50,225 --> 01:03:51,602
[CAT SCREECHES]
1227
01:03:52,427 --> 01:03:54,168
[PANTING]
1228
01:03:54,329 --> 01:03:56,400
What the fuck was that?
1229
01:04:02,837 --> 01:04:05,681
Okay. Okay.
1230
01:04:10,745 --> 01:04:14,056
Okay. Okay.
1231
01:04:14,215 --> 01:04:15,990
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
1232
01:04:19,154 --> 01:04:22,067
- Yeah, Dale?
- I don't think I can do this.
1233
01:04:22,757 --> 01:04:25,533
<i>Look, I know</i>
<i>you really hate Harken but...</i>
1234
01:04:26,428 --> 01:04:28,271
...I don't think
I can go through with it.
1235
01:04:28,430 --> 01:04:29,465
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah.</i>
1236
01:04:29,631 --> 01:04:32,703
I know. I've been thinking
the same thing.
1237
01:04:32,867 --> 01:04:35,438
<i>-Yeah, let's just call it off.</i>
-What the fuck?
1238
01:04:35,603 --> 01:04:37,742
- What?
- It's Harken. He's here.
1239
01:04:37,906 --> 01:04:38,976
<i>He's at Pellit's? Why?</i>
1240
01:04:39,140 --> 01:04:41,643
I don't know. He's walking
right up to the front door.
1241
01:04:42,077 --> 01:04:44,853
- <i>You think he's onto us?</i>
- How the fuck do I know?
1242
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,226
BOBBY:
Knock a little louder?
1243
01:04:47,382 --> 01:04:48,417
What? What?
1244
01:04:48,583 --> 01:04:50,187
["KUNG FU FIGHTING"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]
1245
01:04:51,119 --> 01:04:54,123
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ,
Harken just shot Pellit.
1246
01:04:54,289 --> 01:04:55,666
<i>Are you sure?</i>
1247
01:04:55,824 --> 01:04:59,203
Holy shit. Pellit opened up the door,
Harken shot him in the chest...
1248
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:01,533
...he fell down, he shot him again
in the head.
1249
01:05:01,696 --> 01:05:05,269
<i>He shot him? Wait, what's going on?</i>
<i>I don't understand. He shot him?</i>
1250
01:05:05,433 --> 01:05:07,470
<i>Nick? Say something.</i>
<i>Nick, Nick.</i>
1251
01:05:07,635 --> 01:05:10,844
<i>Nick! Nick, Nick, talk to me.</i>
<i>Nick, what's happening?</i>
1252
01:05:11,005 --> 01:05:12,109
What's going on?
1253
01:05:12,273 --> 01:05:14,753
- <i>How's Pellit doing?</i>
- Still pretty fucking dead, Dale.
1254
01:05:22,016 --> 01:05:25,964
I gotta get out of here before somebody
sees me. Meet me at the bar. I'll call Kurt.
1255
01:05:26,121 --> 01:05:27,532
Yeah. I'll meet you there.
1256
01:05:27,689 --> 01:05:31,603
I might throw up a couple times in the toilet
here, but then I'll meet you there.
1257
01:05:33,995 --> 01:05:35,065
Oh.
1258
01:05:35,230 --> 01:05:36,538
Oh, Toyota.
1259
01:05:42,170 --> 01:05:44,912
[CAMERA CLICKING
AND HORNS HONKING]
1260
01:05:47,575 --> 01:05:49,282
Stay calm. We'll figure this out.
1261
01:05:49,444 --> 01:05:51,446
"Calm"?
I saw a guy get shot an hour ago.
1262
01:05:51,613 --> 01:05:55,117
- I know. A guy you were gonna kill anyway.
- Listen, I don't know about that.
1263
01:05:55,316 --> 01:05:56,989
- What?
- Don't know if I had it in me.
1264
01:05:57,152 --> 01:05:59,223
I freaked out and panicked,
got out of there.
1265
01:05:59,387 --> 01:06:01,833
Are you kidding?
You can't change a plan like this--
1266
01:06:01,990 --> 01:06:03,025
I'm not a murderer.
1267
01:06:03,191 --> 01:06:06,195
You think when it came down to it,
you'd be able to kill Julia?
1268
01:06:06,361 --> 01:06:10,207
I don't know. Maybe you're right.
It is a little hard to imagine killing her now.
1269
01:06:10,365 --> 01:06:13,471
-"Now"?
DALE: Wait, what does that mean?
1270
01:06:13,635 --> 01:06:15,239
- Did you sleep with her?
- No, no.
1271
01:06:15,403 --> 01:06:17,815
DALE: Tell me you didn't sleep with her.
-You're a mess.
1272
01:06:17,972 --> 01:06:20,248
But this time it wasn't my fault,
I swear to God.
1273
01:06:20,408 --> 01:06:22,786
You will be a suspect
if you try and kill her now.
1274
01:06:22,944 --> 01:06:25,982
At first I was surveilling her,
like I was asked to do.
1275
01:06:26,147 --> 01:06:30,323
- She's incredibly hot, by the way. So hot.
- Don't talk about how hot she is, bastard.
1276
01:06:30,485 --> 01:06:32,692
Next thing,
she starts deliberately undressing.
1277
01:06:32,854 --> 01:06:33,889
NICK:
<i>Come on.</i>
1278
01:06:34,055 --> 01:06:36,001
KURT:
<i>In front of her window with the lights on.</i>
1279
01:06:36,157 --> 01:06:38,569
-<i>Like she knew I was watching.</i>
DALE: <i>"Deliberately undressed"?</i>
1280
01:06:38,726 --> 01:06:40,899
KURT: <i>Slowly, seductively,</i>
<i>lot of shoulder moves...</i>
1281
01:06:41,062 --> 01:06:42,939
...is clearly putting on a show.
1282
01:06:43,097 --> 01:06:46,010
-<i>Next she makes herself a little snack.</i>
NICK: <i>She have a nice chest?</i>
1283
01:06:46,167 --> 01:06:47,202
KURT:
<i>A Popsicle.</i>
1284
01:06:47,368 --> 01:06:48,938
-<i>Then a banana.</i>
DALE: <i>Come on.</i>
1285
01:06:49,103 --> 01:06:52,641
-<i>And finally, a hot dog. I mean, come on.</i>
DALE: <i>Now I don't believe your story.</i>
1286
01:06:52,807 --> 01:06:55,686
Three penis-shaped foods,
that can't be a coincidence, right?
1287
01:06:55,843 --> 01:06:58,449
Eating them in that weird order?
Not a proper meal.
1288
01:06:58,613 --> 01:06:59,683
It's cold to hot.
1289
01:06:59,847 --> 01:07:02,760
Fine. So you took the penis foods
as an invitation to fuck her.
1290
01:07:02,917 --> 01:07:06,729
KURT: <i>No, no. God, no. I took her invitation</i>
<i>to fuck her as an invitation to fuck her.</i>
1291
01:07:06,921 --> 01:07:09,197
<i>She lured me in. It was</i>
<i>like one of these things.</i>
1292
01:07:09,357 --> 01:07:11,860
NICK: <i>Something clinically wrong with you.</i>
DALE: <i>You're a whore.</i>
1293
01:07:12,026 --> 01:07:14,870
KURT: <i>Come on. That's not nice, okay?</i>
<i>Look, your problem's solved.</i>
1294
01:07:15,029 --> 01:07:16,531
She won't mess with you anymore.
1295
01:07:16,698 --> 01:07:19,338
Can we move on?
Let's talk about what happened to Pellit.
1296
01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:23,175
All right, okay. Let me think. Okay,
here's what I'm thinking. Here's my idea.
1297
01:07:23,338 --> 01:07:25,750
We call the cops
with an anonymous tip. All right?
1298
01:07:25,907 --> 01:07:27,944
We tell them Harken killed Pellit. Boom.
1299
01:07:28,109 --> 01:07:31,556
Harken's in jail, Pellit's in hell,
Julia's had the crazy fucked out of her...
1300
01:07:31,713 --> 01:07:33,920
...and all three of us
have our problems solved.
1301
01:07:34,082 --> 01:07:36,323
It could work. An anonymous tip,
that's not bad.
1302
01:07:36,484 --> 01:07:37,519
KURT:
Mm-hm.
1303
01:07:37,685 --> 01:07:40,632
Gotta be from a pay phone, though,
so it's not traced back to us.
1304
01:07:40,788 --> 01:07:43,826
- Exactly.
- Good. Let's take my car. Let's do it.
1305
01:07:44,859 --> 01:07:47,533
All right. Where do you even
find a pay phone these days?
1306
01:07:47,695 --> 01:07:49,675
There's a ton at the bus station for sure.
1307
01:07:49,831 --> 01:07:52,641
Oh, yeah, I guess that's a good point.
Maybe the mall.
1308
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,245
What is this?
1309
01:07:54,636 --> 01:07:57,412
- What is this?
- Is that for us?
1310
01:07:57,572 --> 01:07:59,711
DALE: What?
-Oh, shit.
1311
01:08:06,114 --> 01:08:07,320
[WINDOW MOVES DOWN]
1312
01:08:07,482 --> 01:08:09,257
OFFICER:
All the way down.
1313
01:08:10,685 --> 01:08:12,289
Right there.
1314
01:08:13,988 --> 01:08:17,697
- Are you the owner of this vehicle?
- I own it. Yup.
1315
01:08:17,892 --> 01:08:23,274
We got an APB on a gray Toyota Prius,
license 2-Whiskey-Alpha-Quincy-2-3-3.
1316
01:08:23,431 --> 01:08:24,671
- How come?
- Hang on, man.
1317
01:08:24,832 --> 01:08:26,812
- Did I talk to you?
- No.
1318
01:08:27,235 --> 01:08:29,943
That's this car. Tell me how I can help.
1319
01:08:30,104 --> 01:08:33,176
A traffic cam caught this car
fleeing the scene of a crime tonight.
1320
01:08:33,341 --> 01:08:36,811
- Would you know anything about that?
- I don't know why it would do that.
1321
01:08:37,245 --> 01:08:40,226
I mean, I don't know. What happened?
1322
01:08:40,381 --> 01:08:42,418
- Have you been drinking?
- No.
1323
01:08:42,750 --> 01:08:43,990
I smell alcohol.
1324
01:08:44,152 --> 01:08:46,359
- This guy and the mouth in the back.
- That's me.
1325
01:08:47,622 --> 01:08:49,795
I'm gonna need you
to follow us to the station.
1326
01:08:49,957 --> 01:08:51,163
KURT:
Officer.
1327
01:08:51,526 --> 01:08:52,664
My man.
1328
01:08:54,729 --> 01:08:58,802
I cannot believe I let you talk me into
this whole thing. I cannot believe it.
1329
01:08:58,966 --> 01:09:01,105
Are you kidding me?
We were being hypothetical.
1330
01:09:01,269 --> 01:09:03,613
- Being hypothetical?
- You're the one that pushed us into it.
1331
01:09:03,771 --> 01:09:05,751
[ALL CROWING AND BARKING]
1332
01:09:05,907 --> 01:09:07,784
[CHUCKLES]
1333
01:09:07,942 --> 01:09:11,981
Do you wanna explain
why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone...
1334
01:09:12,146 --> 01:09:14,353
...one block from the victim's house...
1335
01:09:14,515 --> 01:09:16,688
...just moments after he got shot dead?
1336
01:09:18,286 --> 01:09:19,526
I was drag racing.
1337
01:09:20,688 --> 01:09:23,635
- I'm a drag racer.
- You were drag racing?
1338
01:09:23,791 --> 01:09:24,861
Mm.
1339
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:27,096
In a Prius?
1340
01:09:30,498 --> 01:09:31,602
I don't win a lot.
1341
01:09:31,766 --> 01:09:34,110
Here's what I don't understand.
1342
01:09:34,268 --> 01:09:36,475
You were at the crime scene.
1343
01:09:36,637 --> 01:09:40,949
Hour later we find the car. You happened to
be hanging with this freaky motherfcrrrrrrrr.
1344
01:09:41,109 --> 01:09:43,919
- A registered sex offender.
- It was an empty playground.
1345
01:09:44,078 --> 01:09:48,220
And this guy. Who happens to be working
for Pellit Chemicals, the victim's company.
1346
01:09:48,683 --> 01:09:50,094
What?
1347
01:09:51,452 --> 01:09:52,692
My boss was murdered?
1348
01:09:53,554 --> 01:09:58,936
Oh, wow. What were you doing at his
house, Nick? Why were you there?
1349
01:09:59,961 --> 01:10:02,464
Where were you during the murder?
1350
01:10:03,097 --> 01:10:07,011
I was making love.
I was making love to a woman.
1351
01:10:07,168 --> 01:10:09,307
Yeah. Murdering some ass.
1352
01:10:10,638 --> 01:10:13,209
-Detectives....
KURT: No, uh, I have a question.
1353
01:10:13,374 --> 01:10:16,048
If one of us knew, you know,
who the shooter was...
1354
01:10:16,210 --> 01:10:20,556
...and he was willing to
serve you that perp on a platter...
1355
01:10:21,215 --> 01:10:24,685
...he would be entitled
to some sort of immunity, right?
1356
01:10:24,852 --> 01:10:27,696
No. He would be entitled
to some jail time.
1357
01:10:28,189 --> 01:10:30,692
If he knew who the shooter was
and didn't tell us...
1358
01:10:30,858 --> 01:10:32,735
...that would be obstruction of justice.
1359
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:34,803
Glad none of us
know who the shooter is.
1360
01:10:34,962 --> 01:10:40,071
Listen, if you think we're gonna believe
that this is all just a big coincidence...
1361
01:10:40,234 --> 01:10:42,407
...we're gonna be here for a long time.
1362
01:10:44,238 --> 01:10:49,278
Okay, wait. By saying
"we're gonna be here for a long time"...
1363
01:10:49,911 --> 01:10:52,721
...you're implying that
we're not allowed to leave...
1364
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:56,487
...which would only be the case if we
were under arrest. Are we under arrest?
1365
01:10:56,784 --> 01:10:59,663
No. We just brought you in
for questioning.
1366
01:11:00,621 --> 01:11:03,363
Well, then, ipso facto...
1367
01:11:03,524 --> 01:11:06,869
...you don't have sufficient evidence...
1368
01:11:07,028 --> 01:11:09,838
...constituting probable cause
for an arrest warrant.
1369
01:11:09,997 --> 01:11:11,032
Not yet.
1370
01:11:11,199 --> 01:11:15,705
Well, uh, then, pursuant to
the Fourth Amendment...
1371
01:11:16,671 --> 01:11:20,141
...I believe we are free to go.
Are we not?
1372
01:11:20,775 --> 01:11:22,220
Yeah, technically. Yeah.
1373
01:11:23,244 --> 01:11:25,224
Technically is good enough for me.
1374
01:11:25,379 --> 01:11:28,223
Gentlemen, ahem, we are free men.
1375
01:11:28,683 --> 01:11:30,185
Let's go.
1376
01:11:30,351 --> 01:11:32,456
We gotta get back to your car.
Keep moving.
1377
01:11:32,620 --> 01:11:35,100
We get a cab? Take the train?
What do you wanna do?
1378
01:11:35,256 --> 01:11:38,931
- You ever been on a subway in this town?
- Pretty great. Where'd that come from?
1379
01:11:39,093 --> 01:11:41,869
<i>Law & Order</i>, okay? You can
learn stuff watching <i>Law & Order</i>.
1380
01:11:42,029 --> 01:11:43,872
- We showed them, huh?
- We did show them.
1381
01:11:44,031 --> 01:11:45,567
You were about to turn us in.
1382
01:11:45,733 --> 01:11:49,875
There was a few conversations about ratting
each other out, but it was gonna be fine.
1383
01:11:50,037 --> 01:11:51,311
Hold on.
1384
01:11:51,472 --> 01:11:54,282
That's for you, hotshot.
Speeding and running a red light.
1385
01:11:55,142 --> 01:11:57,281
You boys don't get
too comfortable out there.
1386
01:11:57,445 --> 01:12:02,554
Our forensics team is sweeping the Pellit
house right now for DNA and fingerprints.
1387
01:12:02,917 --> 01:12:05,761
And I'll tell you something.
They don't miss shit.
1388
01:12:10,424 --> 01:12:12,495
KURT:
In the butt you go, go, go.
1389
01:12:14,228 --> 01:12:16,606
Why would you put his whole bathroom
in your ass?!
1390
01:12:16,764 --> 01:12:20,769
- I didn't I know I had DNA in my butt.
- Lying! You know there's DNA in your butt.
1391
01:12:20,935 --> 01:12:23,415
You just like shoving shit in your ass,
you fucking pervert!
1392
01:12:23,571 --> 01:12:25,380
We are lawyering up, man. That's it.
1393
01:12:25,540 --> 01:12:29,511
I don't have money for a lawyer. I bought
a very expensive ring I can't afford...
1394
01:12:29,677 --> 01:12:32,624
...then I gave the rest of my motherfucking
money to Motherfcrrrrrrrr Jones.
1395
01:12:32,780 --> 01:12:34,384
That's who we should talk to.
1396
01:12:34,549 --> 01:12:38,554
- He's covered us this far, right? Five grand?
- Five thousand. Forty, with the briefcase.
1397
01:12:38,753 --> 01:12:41,029
- Shut up about that!
- Shut up about the briefcase.
1398
01:12:41,188 --> 01:12:42,963
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
1399
01:12:43,824 --> 01:12:46,236
Excuse me. Excuse me. Da-da-da.
1400
01:12:46,394 --> 01:12:49,898
- Hello, Motherfcrrrrrrrr.
- Hey, look who's back. Look who's back.
1401
01:12:50,064 --> 01:12:52,908
Whatever happened to
that, uh, <i>Strangers on a Train</i> shit?
1402
01:12:53,067 --> 01:12:54,740
Didn't work out. We need your help.
1403
01:12:54,902 --> 01:12:57,746
One of our intended victims
killed the other intended victim.
1404
01:12:57,905 --> 01:12:59,509
- Shut the fuck up.
- It's gone bad.
1405
01:12:59,674 --> 01:13:01,551
You guys are some fucking evil geniuses.
1406
01:13:01,709 --> 01:13:05,179
Thank you, but we had nothing to do
with it. We don't know why it happened.
1407
01:13:05,346 --> 01:13:06,882
The cops bring us in as suspects.
1408
01:13:07,048 --> 01:13:10,757
Kurt's DNA's all over the apartment because
he shoved a toothbrush up his ass.
1409
01:13:10,918 --> 01:13:13,455
KURT: That's not the point.
-I'm giving him the whole story.
1410
01:13:13,621 --> 01:13:15,760
I got you. First thing first,
we gotta handle business.
1411
01:13:15,923 --> 01:13:17,493
KURT:
Mm-hm.
1412
01:13:17,992 --> 01:13:20,734
- I need $5000.
- There's gonna be no more money.
1413
01:13:20,895 --> 01:13:22,499
- Two thousand?
- Absolutely not.
1414
01:13:22,663 --> 01:13:25,769
No way, Motherfcrrrrrrrr. No.
1415
01:13:26,667 --> 01:13:28,613
All right, look, pay for my drinks.
1416
01:13:28,769 --> 01:13:30,305
- Pay for his drink.
- I'll do that.
1417
01:13:30,471 --> 01:13:31,973
Not a very good negotiator.
1418
01:13:32,139 --> 01:13:35,245
The guy that killed the other guy,
are the cops after him?
1419
01:13:35,409 --> 01:13:37,252
No, no, they don't suspect him.
1420
01:13:37,411 --> 01:13:39,357
Then this is what you need to do:
1421
01:13:39,614 --> 01:13:44,029
Get him to confess to the murder
while you're wearing a wire.
1422
01:13:44,185 --> 01:13:45,858
A wire? We can do that. That's easy.
1423
01:13:46,020 --> 01:13:49,194
That how they got you
when you murdered somebody?
1424
01:13:53,394 --> 01:13:55,465
- I ain't never murder nobody.
- I'm sorry?
1425
01:13:55,730 --> 01:13:57,573
I never murdered anybody.
1426
01:13:57,732 --> 01:14:00,713
Wait, no. You said you did a dime
for some pretty nasty shit.
1427
01:14:00,868 --> 01:14:04,111
It was some nasty shit,
but does that mean I murdered somebody?
1428
01:14:04,271 --> 01:14:07,013
- You implied it.
- You didn't murder someone, what'd you do?
1429
01:14:08,342 --> 01:14:10,447
All right, listen, get in here.
1430
01:14:13,247 --> 01:14:15,853
You guys ever see the movie
<i>Snow Falling on Cedars</i>?
1431
01:14:16,017 --> 01:14:17,052
No.
1432
01:14:17,218 --> 01:14:18,891
- Never seen that.
- I love that movie.
1433
01:14:19,053 --> 01:14:22,830
What happened was is that I took a video
camera into the movie and I bootleg it.
1434
01:14:22,990 --> 01:14:25,470
They was waiting right outside the exit.
They got me.
1435
01:14:25,626 --> 01:14:27,663
- You did 10 years for video piracy?
- Yeah.
1436
01:14:27,828 --> 01:14:30,536
- They take that shit so serious, man.
- Not that seriously.
1437
01:14:30,698 --> 01:14:32,302
We've been taking murder advice...
1438
01:14:32,466 --> 01:14:35,640
...from some guy whose biggest crime
is taping an Ethan Hawke movie.
1439
01:14:35,803 --> 01:14:38,249
- So you do know the movie.
- I know who's in it.
1440
01:14:38,406 --> 01:14:42,320
Everyone knows the movie. That's not
the point. You tricked us, Motherfuck--
1441
01:14:42,476 --> 01:14:47,084
Hang on a second, something doesn't
stack up quite right with this, all right?
1442
01:14:47,248 --> 01:14:51,526
So you just call yourself a video pirate,
right? Pirating the high seas of videocy?
1443
01:14:51,686 --> 01:14:54,189
Why do you carry a gun on you,
Mr. Video Pirate?
1444
01:14:54,355 --> 01:14:55,857
- A gun?
- Yeah.
1445
01:14:56,023 --> 01:14:58,162
- I don't wanna see it.
- It's my cell phone.
1446
01:14:59,226 --> 01:15:02,332
-It's a Sidekick. I'm gonna be in the car.
KURT: Oh, shit.
1447
01:15:02,496 --> 01:15:06,603
You grab at it like a gun and you confuse
people. Goddamn it, I feel like a moron.
1448
01:15:06,767 --> 01:15:08,440
- Let's go.
- You are a moron.
1449
01:15:08,836 --> 01:15:13,444
Look, you don't go into a bar and
hand a guy $5000 just because he black.
1450
01:15:13,607 --> 01:15:15,814
DALE: It was never a black-white thing.
-No, come on.
1451
01:15:15,976 --> 01:15:17,956
Let's go. Come on. Dale.
1452
01:15:18,112 --> 01:15:20,114
Y'all motherfcksssssssss crazy.
1453
01:15:30,491 --> 01:15:32,232
NICK:
Okay.
1454
01:15:32,393 --> 01:15:33,565
Looks pretty quiet, yeah?
1455
01:15:33,728 --> 01:15:38,040
Yeah, it does. Okay, tape recorder's ready
to roll, I got some fresh batteries in here.
1456
01:15:38,199 --> 01:15:42,147
It was a pretty big investment so I should
be the one who does the tape-recording.
1457
01:15:42,303 --> 01:15:44,510
- No way. No, I'll do it.
- You're gonna do it?
1458
01:15:44,672 --> 01:15:46,709
You'll have to duct-tape that
to your chest.
1459
01:15:46,874 --> 01:15:49,286
I can't tape this to my chest.
I have hair on chest.
1460
01:15:49,443 --> 01:15:52,322
Just put it in your pocket.
Not gonna tape it to his chest.
1461
01:15:52,947 --> 01:15:57,157
So, what do we do? Wait for him to come
home, we grab a office chair or something?
1462
01:15:57,318 --> 01:16:00,822
One of us gets in the chair, spins around
and dramatically confronts him.
1463
01:16:00,988 --> 01:16:02,831
- I'm in the chair.
- Nick's in the chair.
1464
01:16:02,990 --> 01:16:04,867
- Why are you in the chair?
- He's my boss.
1465
01:16:05,025 --> 01:16:08,495
Maybe we should get three chairs
and all spin around at the same time.
1466
01:16:08,662 --> 01:16:09,766
Confront him like that.
1467
01:16:09,930 --> 01:16:12,410
That's not intimidating,
that's like a musical number.
1468
01:16:14,135 --> 01:16:15,273
DALE:
Watch out for the cat.
1469
01:16:15,436 --> 01:16:16,642
ALL:
Surprise!
1470
01:16:16,804 --> 01:16:18,806
[DeBARGE'S "RHYTHM OF THE NIGHT"
PLAYING ON STEREO]
1471
01:16:18,973 --> 01:16:21,579
Okay. It's a false alarm.
Just mingle, mingle, mingle.
1472
01:16:21,742 --> 01:16:22,982
Hi. Who are you?
1473
01:16:23,144 --> 01:16:24,987
Come inside. Close that door. Hurry.
1474
01:16:25,146 --> 01:16:27,023
Um, okay. Now, wait a minute.
1475
01:16:27,181 --> 01:16:30,492
You're the young man who helped Dave
out on the street the other night.
1476
01:16:30,651 --> 01:16:32,961
- That's him.
- Yeah, that's who I am.
1477
01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:37,091
- How is he?
- He is great, thanks to you. Thank you.
1478
01:16:37,658 --> 01:16:39,865
- Did I invite you?
- You did and you didn't.
1479
01:16:40,027 --> 01:16:41,870
I work with your husband. We're late.
1480
01:16:42,029 --> 01:16:44,134
-These are my plus-twos.
MAN: He's in the garage.
1481
01:16:44,298 --> 01:16:46,335
Oh, we should hide.
Everybody, come on in.
1482
01:16:47,368 --> 01:16:51,316
WOMAN: Someone get the lights.
-Get down, get down, get down.
1483
01:16:52,173 --> 01:16:55,985
[WHISPERING] I'm Kurt, by the way. I didn't
get a chance to introduce myself at the door.
1484
01:16:56,143 --> 01:16:59,283
- Oh, hey, Rhonda. Hi. Hi.
- Hi, Rhonda. Very nice to meet you.
1485
01:16:59,480 --> 01:17:02,017
Nick didn't tell me
his boss was married to a model.
1486
01:17:02,183 --> 01:17:04,322
Ha, ha. Yeah, not a model.
1487
01:17:04,485 --> 01:17:05,520
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
1488
01:17:05,686 --> 01:17:07,393
When did you quit?
1489
01:17:10,291 --> 01:17:11,770
[DOOR CLOSES]
1490
01:17:11,926 --> 01:17:13,928
ALL:
Surprise!
1491
01:17:14,094 --> 01:17:16,404
Goddamn it! God, I hate that!
1492
01:17:16,564 --> 01:17:17,770
We got you, huh, honey?
1493
01:17:18,632 --> 01:17:20,942
- So you were surprised?
- Yeah.
1494
01:17:21,101 --> 01:17:22,375
Look, sweetie, everybody's here.
1495
01:17:22,536 --> 01:17:23,674
[HARKEN CHUCKLES]
1496
01:17:23,838 --> 01:17:25,317
I'm gonna put my stuff down.
1497
01:17:25,472 --> 01:17:28,214
She knows I hate surprises.
1498
01:17:28,542 --> 01:17:32,115
I think we got him. Ha, ha.
We got him good.
1499
01:17:33,314 --> 01:17:34,918
Okay.
1500
01:17:35,082 --> 01:17:37,494
He's gone off on his own.
This is our chance.
1501
01:17:37,651 --> 01:17:39,392
- You guys ready?
- Yeah, very ready.
1502
01:17:39,553 --> 01:17:41,362
NICK: Stay close, okay?
KURT: Mm-hm.
1503
01:17:41,722 --> 01:17:44,168
Let's do it. Let's do it.
1504
01:17:45,860 --> 01:17:47,339
NICK:
Harken.
1505
01:17:48,529 --> 01:17:50,304
HARKEN:
I cannot believe my wife invited you.
1506
01:17:50,564 --> 01:17:53,374
What are you doing here?
Come to stab me a few more times?
1507
01:17:53,534 --> 01:17:56,071
- We know what you did.
- Well, what does that mean?
1508
01:17:56,237 --> 01:17:58,342
We were there. We saw you kill him.
1509
01:17:59,240 --> 01:18:00,651
Really?
1510
01:18:01,475 --> 01:18:03,955
So, what is this, then?
Your little shakedown?
1511
01:18:05,045 --> 01:18:07,855
You think that you can blackmail me...
1512
01:18:08,449 --> 01:18:11,726
...because you saw me
kill my wife's lover?
1513
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:14,092
Say his name!
1514
01:18:16,023 --> 01:18:17,502
What?
1515
01:18:18,192 --> 01:18:20,399
The man you killed, you say his name.
1516
01:18:20,561 --> 01:18:23,804
Pellit? Trust me, Pellit's name
means nothing anymore.
1517
01:18:23,964 --> 01:18:26,410
There it is. Thank you. Let's do it, guys.
1518
01:18:26,567 --> 01:18:29,047
HARKEN: Yeah, that's right.
-Hang on. Where the fuck is Kurt?
1519
01:18:29,203 --> 01:18:30,807
I killed Pellit.
1520
01:18:30,971 --> 01:18:32,814
Hold that thought,
I'm missing my friend Kurt.
1521
01:18:32,973 --> 01:18:37,547
I walked right up to his door, I put
a gun in his chest and I shot him.
1522
01:18:37,711 --> 01:18:40,954
Then you know what? You know
what I did after that? I shot him again.
1523
01:18:41,115 --> 01:18:43,095
And let me tell you something.
1524
01:18:43,717 --> 01:18:45,594
I liked it.
1525
01:18:46,453 --> 01:18:50,333
So if you think
that I'm some sort of pussy...
1526
01:18:50,491 --> 01:18:55,065
...who won't do exactly the same thing
to a couple of lame-assed blackmailers...
1527
01:18:55,229 --> 01:18:56,367
...think again.
1528
01:18:56,530 --> 01:18:59,636
Know who thinks you're a pussy?
My friend Kurt. Let me grab him.
1529
01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:01,245
You are pathetic, Hendricks.
1530
01:19:02,536 --> 01:19:08,612
You walk into my house on
my goddamn birthday and pull this shit.
1531
01:19:10,244 --> 01:19:11,814
Well, let me tell you something.
1532
01:19:13,247 --> 01:19:15,090
You're dead.
1533
01:19:15,716 --> 01:19:18,219
You and you.
1534
01:19:18,385 --> 01:19:19,728
- And...?
- Kurt.
1535
01:19:19,887 --> 01:19:22,527
Kurt. Dead men.
1536
01:19:23,257 --> 01:19:25,863
DALE: I didn't know it was your birthday.
What's he doing?
1537
01:19:26,026 --> 01:19:28,666
- What do you got?
- Getting my gun. Only take a second.
1538
01:19:28,829 --> 01:19:30,137
- I'll get the car.
- I'll go.
1539
01:19:30,297 --> 01:19:34,336
We had him, we had the whole goddamn
thing. What the fuck happened to Kurt?
1540
01:19:34,601 --> 01:19:35,773
DALE: Hey!
-There you are.
1541
01:19:35,936 --> 01:19:36,971
Where were you?
1542
01:19:37,137 --> 01:19:39,549
My, uh, stomach was bothering me.
Had to use the bathroom.
1543
01:19:39,707 --> 01:19:41,983
He confessed everything,
now he's getting his gun.
1544
01:19:42,142 --> 01:19:43,621
NICK: Kurt, what happened there?
-Oh, uh...
1545
01:19:43,777 --> 01:19:45,779
...she was giving me a tour
of the mouth-- House.
1546
01:19:46,213 --> 01:19:49,057
- Ow! What are you--?
- Get in the car. Right now.
1547
01:19:49,216 --> 01:19:51,321
KURT: Knock it off.
DALE: Come on.
1548
01:19:55,089 --> 01:19:57,729
Look, I wasn't thinking, okay? I'm sorry.
1549
01:19:58,258 --> 01:20:01,501
She's just very hot. And I'm weak.
I'm a weak, weak man, okay?
1550
01:20:01,662 --> 01:20:02,800
I admit it.
1551
01:20:02,963 --> 01:20:03,998
[KURT GASPS]
1552
01:20:04,164 --> 01:20:06,144
-Back it up, back it up.
DALE: Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
1553
01:20:06,300 --> 01:20:07,802
- They found my DNA.
- Back it up.
1554
01:20:07,968 --> 01:20:12,383
Go backwards. Go backwards.
See? They found your poop brush.
1555
01:20:12,973 --> 01:20:16,386
- You are obsessed with your asshole!
- No, I'm not. It was a prank, Dale.
1556
01:20:16,543 --> 01:20:19,456
Shut it down. Let's start talking about
where we're gonna live.
1557
01:20:19,613 --> 01:20:22,560
- The current situation won't work.
- There'll be cops everywhere.
1558
01:20:22,716 --> 01:20:24,024
You talking about fleeing?
1559
01:20:24,184 --> 01:20:26,755
Damn right.
I'm talking about Canada or Mexico.
1560
01:20:27,087 --> 01:20:29,795
I can't live in Mexico.
I mean, I can't handle the food.
1561
01:20:29,957 --> 01:20:31,868
My digestion alone-- I'll probably die.
1562
01:20:32,026 --> 01:20:34,597
- You'd rather be in jail the rest of your life?
- Shut the fuck up.
1563
01:20:34,762 --> 01:20:35,797
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
1564
01:20:35,963 --> 01:20:38,136
I'm getting a call. I gotta get this.
Hello?
1565
01:20:38,599 --> 01:20:39,771
Hello, lover.
1566
01:20:39,933 --> 01:20:42,675
Uh, look, Julia,
now's not a good time to talk.
1567
01:20:42,836 --> 01:20:44,907
-Hey, I'm not here.
JULIA: <i>That's okay.</i>
1568
01:20:45,072 --> 01:20:47,313
I actually meant to
call your home phone.
1569
01:20:47,474 --> 01:20:49,283
You know, tell Stacy about us.
1570
01:20:49,443 --> 01:20:52,617
-No, don't do that. Wait. Wait.
NICK: We'll learn the metric system.
1571
01:20:52,780 --> 01:20:55,920
We gotta buy coats and sweaters
and learn hockey and all that shit.
1572
01:20:56,083 --> 01:20:58,359
No, I think I've waited long enough, Dale.
1573
01:20:58,519 --> 01:21:00,863
I'm sort of tired of you
toying with my emotions.
1574
01:21:01,021 --> 01:21:02,432
DALE:
<i>I'm not playing with you.</i>
1575
01:21:02,589 --> 01:21:06,230
I'm not toying with you. I'm gonna
take care of it. I'm gonna take care of it.
1576
01:21:06,393 --> 01:21:09,272
Wait, wait, wait.
What are you gonna do to me?
1577
01:21:09,596 --> 01:21:11,269
- I'm gonna have sex with you.
- What?
1578
01:21:11,432 --> 01:21:13,571
JULIA:
<i>I want you to give me details, you pussy.</i>
1579
01:21:13,734 --> 01:21:15,407
And please be explicit.
1580
01:21:15,569 --> 01:21:18,846
Details? I'm in a car with people.
Now is not a good time for details.
1581
01:21:19,073 --> 01:21:22,418
-I don't care if it's not a great time.
DALE: <i>Okay, fine.</i>
1582
01:21:22,576 --> 01:21:24,613
I'm gonna make you feel good.
You know?
1583
01:21:24,778 --> 01:21:27,258
With my fingers and my tongue
and whatnot.
1584
01:21:27,414 --> 01:21:29,325
I know you can do better than that.
1585
01:21:29,483 --> 01:21:32,123
All right, I'm gonna put my penis
in your pussy, Julia.
1586
01:21:32,286 --> 01:21:34,596
Oh, boy, that's gonna get me done.
1587
01:21:36,490 --> 01:21:37,901
What the fuck was that?
1588
01:21:40,394 --> 01:21:42,931
- What the fuck?
- That's Harken. Lose him.
1589
01:21:44,164 --> 01:21:46,166
- Oh, my God!
- Get out of here.
1590
01:21:48,402 --> 01:21:50,109
Look, careful.
1591
01:21:52,606 --> 01:21:55,951
Hey, are you gonna slap me in the face
with your cock, Dale?
1592
01:21:56,110 --> 01:21:58,420
Yes, I'll slap you in the face
with my cock!
1593
01:21:58,579 --> 01:22:01,856
- This guy's fucking crazy.
- Slap you all over your face with my cock!
1594
01:22:02,316 --> 01:22:04,353
- Don't get in a wreck.
- It's go time.
1595
01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:08,158
Okay. More, Dale.
1596
01:22:08,322 --> 01:22:09,858
I will go up and down on you...
1597
01:22:10,023 --> 01:22:12,936
...<i>and I'll rub my naked butt</i>
<i>against your naked butt</i>...
1598
01:22:13,093 --> 01:22:14,697
...until it's raw and red...
1599
01:22:14,862 --> 01:22:16,899
...and we're both really chafed up
real bad.
1600
01:22:19,366 --> 01:22:20,777
[ALL YELL]
1601
01:22:22,269 --> 01:22:23,304
[HORNS HONKING]
1602
01:22:23,470 --> 01:22:26,349
Not good. Get us out of here!
Get us out of here!
1603
01:22:26,507 --> 01:22:27,542
I got it, I got it.
1604
01:22:29,510 --> 01:22:31,615
- Come on.
- I'll spit on your arms and stuff.
1605
01:22:31,778 --> 01:22:33,519
-What else?
DALE: <i>And then I'm gonna</i>...
1606
01:22:33,680 --> 01:22:35,591
...jam my skull
into the crack of your ass!
1607
01:22:35,749 --> 01:22:37,023
[CHUCKLES]
1608
01:22:37,851 --> 01:22:39,888
Yeah, baby. In the crack of your ass.
1609
01:22:40,053 --> 01:22:43,398
And I'll dance on your boobies,
and I'll jump up and down on your butt.
1610
01:22:45,959 --> 01:22:49,133
Ah. I'll see you Friday, dirty bird.
1611
01:22:49,296 --> 01:22:50,639
Good. Friday. See you Friday.
1612
01:22:50,797 --> 01:22:52,799
Nice job fucking the crazy
out of her, Kurt!
1613
01:22:52,966 --> 01:22:55,310
Maybe I should have been
dancing on her boobs, huh?
1614
01:22:55,469 --> 01:22:56,539
DALE:
Maybe you should have.
1615
01:22:56,703 --> 01:22:58,444
NICK:
That was very good driving, by the way.
1616
01:22:58,605 --> 01:22:59,675
KURT:
Thank you very much.
1617
01:22:59,840 --> 01:23:02,787
GREGORY: <i>Good evening, Mr. Buckman.</i>
-Yeah, hey, Gregory. How are you?
1618
01:23:02,943 --> 01:23:05,389
GREGORY: <i>Our onboard sensors</i>
<i>report you've had a collision.</i>
1619
01:23:05,546 --> 01:23:07,685
That's because
we have a crazy man that hit us.
1620
01:23:07,848 --> 01:23:10,727
GREGORY: <i>I will alert the authorities</i>
<i>and direct them to your location.</i>
1621
01:23:10,884 --> 01:23:12,989
Don't call the cops.
They're already after us.
1622
01:23:13,153 --> 01:23:17,158
No, Gregory, they think we murdered
someone, all right? Do not call the cops.
1623
01:23:19,059 --> 01:23:20,766
What's going on?
Why you slowing down, Kurt?
1624
01:23:20,928 --> 01:23:23,909
Whoa. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't do that.
No, the engine died.
1625
01:23:24,064 --> 01:23:26,442
GREGORY: <i>I remotely disabled your engine.</i>
-What?
1626
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,341
GREGORY:
<i>It is standard Nav Guide protocol...</i>
1627
01:23:28,502 --> 01:23:30,413
...<i>whenever a driver</i>
<i>has committed a crime.</i>
1628
01:23:30,571 --> 01:23:33,177
I pay 19 bucks a month
for this fucking service.
1629
01:23:33,373 --> 01:23:36,286
GREGORY: <i>Remain with your vehicle.</i>
<i>The police will be arriving shortly.</i>
1630
01:23:36,443 --> 01:23:39,219
DALE: Gregory, I thought you were
our fucking friend, man!
1631
01:23:40,013 --> 01:23:41,390
[ALL YELL]
1632
01:23:46,119 --> 01:23:48,121
[DALE GROANING]
1633
01:23:54,661 --> 01:23:57,141
Get out of the car, all of you.
Come on. Come on.
1634
01:24:00,033 --> 01:24:03,105
-Remember I saved your life that one time?
HARKEN: Shut up.
1635
01:24:05,439 --> 01:24:07,350
NICK: Just take it easy with that--
-Shut up.
1636
01:24:07,507 --> 01:24:09,180
I got six bullets in this gun.
1637
01:24:09,343 --> 01:24:12,813
Which means I can shoot all of you
twice, just like that bastard Pellit...
1638
01:24:12,980 --> 01:24:14,982
...if I really wanted to,
but I'm not gonna.
1639
01:24:15,148 --> 01:24:17,628
You're not gonna shoot us twice
or not gonna shoot us?
1640
01:24:17,784 --> 01:24:18,956
Shut up.
1641
01:24:20,020 --> 01:24:23,866
I got a better idea. I'm gonna tell
the cops that you killed Pellit.
1642
01:24:24,024 --> 01:24:27,665
And when I found out,
you tried to kill me to shut me up.
1643
01:24:27,828 --> 01:24:29,330
- That's crazy.
- Is it?
1644
01:24:29,496 --> 01:24:33,342
Because I don't see one shred
of evidence that proves that I shot Pellit.
1645
01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:36,003
And besides, I'm the guy
with the bullet in his leg.
1646
01:24:36,169 --> 01:24:37,443
What?
1647
01:24:38,105 --> 01:24:39,448
[HARKEN YELLS]
1648
01:24:39,606 --> 01:24:41,449
God, that hurts so much.
1649
01:24:41,608 --> 01:24:43,383
Son of a bitch.
1650
01:24:43,543 --> 01:24:44,954
- Catch!
- No, don't ca--!
1651
01:24:45,112 --> 01:24:47,023
- Goddamn it, Dale.
- You see?
1652
01:24:47,180 --> 01:24:50,684
You can't win a marathon without
putting some Band-Aids on your nipples.
1653
01:24:51,385 --> 01:24:53,956
- What does that mean?
- Watch this.
1654
01:24:54,354 --> 01:24:55,799
[GROANING]
1655
01:24:55,956 --> 01:24:57,526
[SIRENS WAILING]
1656
01:24:59,793 --> 01:25:01,067
-Everybody freeze!
COP 1 : Police!
1657
01:25:01,228 --> 01:25:03,435
HAGAN:
Drop the gun! On your knees!
1658
01:25:03,597 --> 01:25:06,544
HARKEN: Thank God.
Officers, thank God you're here.
1659
01:25:06,700 --> 01:25:08,680
These guys, they shot me.
1660
01:25:08,835 --> 01:25:10,542
- That's not true!
- That's bullshit!
1661
01:25:10,704 --> 01:25:13,480
I found out they murdered someone.
They tried to shut me up.
1662
01:25:13,640 --> 01:25:16,553
Please protect me from them.
I have a wife and a cat!
1663
01:25:16,710 --> 01:25:19,088
HAGAN: All right, take it easy.
Call for an ambulance.
1664
01:25:19,413 --> 01:25:23,122
COP 2: Hey, what is this?
-It's nothing. It's just a tape recorder.
1665
01:25:23,283 --> 01:25:24,819
Oh, shit! It's a tape recorder!
1666
01:25:24,985 --> 01:25:28,057
-A tape recorder. Did you turn that off?
KURT: No, it's been recording!
1667
01:25:28,221 --> 01:25:30,599
- So listen to us, officer.
- Hands up!
1668
01:25:30,757 --> 01:25:33,795
Listen to us for one second.
He confessed to killing Pellit.
1669
01:25:33,960 --> 01:25:35,268
He said he shot him twice...
1670
01:25:35,429 --> 01:25:38,672
...and he was gonna shoot us once
or twice. He was unclear about that.
1671
01:25:38,832 --> 01:25:41,073
- You are insane.
- Just play the tape.
1672
01:25:43,804 --> 01:25:46,341
KURT [ON RECORDING]:
<i>But all those people are just right outside.</i>
1673
01:25:46,506 --> 01:25:48,247
RHONDA:
<i>Your balls are so smooth.</i>
1674
01:25:48,608 --> 01:25:50,144
Wait a minute. Is that my wife?
1675
01:25:50,310 --> 01:25:52,221
No, no. Of course not, no.
Let's move past that.
1676
01:25:52,379 --> 01:25:55,053
DALE [ON RECORDING]: --<i>jam my skull</i>
<i>into the crack of your ass!</i>
1677
01:25:55,215 --> 01:25:57,661
<i>I'll dance on your boobies,</i>
<i>and jump up and down on your butt.</i>
1678
01:25:57,818 --> 01:25:58,853
What the fuck is this?
1679
01:25:59,019 --> 01:26:02,364
Don't judge. I have a thing with my boss.
It's none of your business.
1680
01:26:02,522 --> 01:26:04,024
If you could get to the end...?
1681
01:26:04,191 --> 01:26:06,068
[DALE, NICK AND KURT YELLING
ON RECORDING]
1682
01:26:06,226 --> 01:26:07,603
[BEEPS]
1683
01:26:07,761 --> 01:26:08,865
There's nothing on here.
1684
01:26:09,029 --> 01:26:10,440
- Shit!
- What happened?
1685
01:26:10,597 --> 01:26:12,406
Thing must have stopped
when we crashed.
1686
01:26:12,566 --> 01:26:14,239
Before this guy
supposedly confessed?
1687
01:26:14,401 --> 01:26:16,938
I told you, these guys are liars.
They cannot be trusted.
1688
01:26:17,104 --> 01:26:18,913
They shot me in the leg, killed a guy.
1689
01:26:19,072 --> 01:26:21,575
- He shot himself.
- I don't need to hear anything else.
1690
01:26:23,777 --> 01:26:25,586
-Cuff them.
KURT: Oh, my God.
1691
01:26:25,746 --> 01:26:28,522
- You don't need to cuff us.
- My God, we're going to jail.
1692
01:26:28,682 --> 01:26:30,320
We're going to jail. Unbelievable.
1693
01:26:30,484 --> 01:26:31,895
It hurts. It hurts so much.
1694
01:26:32,052 --> 01:26:33,861
GREGORY:
<i>Excuse me? Officers?</i>
1695
01:26:34,054 --> 01:26:36,193
<i>I should mention</i>
<i>that it is Nav Guide policy...</i>
1696
01:26:36,356 --> 01:26:39,200
<i>...to record all conversations</i>
<i>for quality assurance.</i>
1697
01:26:39,359 --> 01:26:41,669
- Who the hell's that?
- That's our Nav Guide rep.
1698
01:26:41,828 --> 01:26:43,398
-His name is Almonan.
HAGAN: Hands up!
1699
01:26:43,563 --> 01:26:45,133
NICK: Atmanad.
DALE: Almondmond.
1700
01:26:45,298 --> 01:26:47,642
-Atmanad is what it was!
GREGORY: <i>Atmanand.</i>
1701
01:26:47,801 --> 01:26:50,611
Atmand-- Gregory, uh, play what he said.
1702
01:26:50,771 --> 01:26:53,411
-Play it just after the crash.
GREGORY: <i>Very good, sir.</i>
1703
01:26:53,573 --> 01:26:56,281
You're not gonna listen to this.
This isn't evidence.
1704
01:26:56,443 --> 01:26:58,514
HARKEN [ON RECORDING]:
<i>I got six bullets in this gun.</i>
1705
01:26:58,678 --> 01:27:01,659
<i>Which means I can shoot all of you</i>
<i>twice, just like that bastard Pellit...</i>
1706
01:27:01,815 --> 01:27:04,261
<i>...if I really wanted to,</i>
<i>but I'm not gonna.</i>
1707
01:27:04,418 --> 01:27:05,897
- That's it.
- So it was you.
1708
01:27:06,052 --> 01:27:07,622
[ALL LAUGHING]
1709
01:27:08,422 --> 01:27:11,835
That is not proof. That's just a car.
You're not gonna listen to a car.
1710
01:27:11,992 --> 01:27:14,563
Looks like I'm getting that promotion
after all. Yeah.
1711
01:27:14,961 --> 01:27:16,963
To answer your question,
that was your wife.
1712
01:27:17,130 --> 01:27:19,269
- You fucked my wife?
- I fucked your wife.
1713
01:27:19,433 --> 01:27:20,468
Nobody fucks my wife!
1714
01:27:22,269 --> 01:27:23,407
[GRUNTS]
1715
01:27:23,570 --> 01:27:24,878
Ah.
1716
01:27:26,039 --> 01:27:27,484
How you like them nipples?
1717
01:27:27,641 --> 01:27:29,279
Did you just do the catchphrase?
1718
01:27:29,443 --> 01:27:31,650
-<i>Good Will Hunting.</i>
KURT: <i>Good Will Hunting.</i>
1719
01:27:31,812 --> 01:27:33,450
- That's so great.
- Caught it, yeah.
1720
01:27:33,613 --> 01:27:36,753
<i>Good Will Hunting</i> rip. Instead of
saying "apples" he said "nipples."
1721
01:27:36,917 --> 01:27:38,988
- Felt like a moment.
- And happy birthday.
1722
01:27:39,152 --> 01:27:41,564
NICK: <i>So in the end,</i>
<i>we didn't wind up going to jail.</i>
1723
01:27:41,721 --> 01:27:44,327
<i>Actually, we did later that night</i>
<i>when they booked us.</i>
1724
01:27:44,491 --> 01:27:46,528
<i>But since we led the cops to Harken...</i>
1725
01:27:46,693 --> 01:27:49,572
<i>...they ultimately agreed</i>
<i>to let our other offenses slide.</i>
1726
01:27:49,729 --> 01:27:51,367
<i>Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt...</i>
1727
01:27:51,832 --> 01:27:55,541
<i>...there's no laws on the books against</i>
<i>putting people's toiletries up your ass.</i>
1728
01:27:55,702 --> 01:27:57,807
<i>Anyway,</i>
<i>with Harken in his new position...</i>
1729
01:27:57,971 --> 01:28:03,250
<i>...on all fours in prison for 25 to life,</i>
<i>Comnidyne made me acting president.</i>
1730
01:28:03,944 --> 01:28:07,619
<i>It's a great job, I got a solid raise</i>
<i>and I'm actually my own boss.</i>
1731
01:28:07,781 --> 01:28:09,089
<i>Well, except for the CEO.</i>
1732
01:28:09,249 --> 01:28:12,958
- Morning.
- Oh, morning. You, uh, must be Nick.
1733
01:28:13,119 --> 01:28:15,895
- I am.
- Well, it's great to finally meet you.
1734
01:28:16,056 --> 01:28:19,037
- You too, Mr. Sherman.
- Please. Lou.
1735
01:28:19,726 --> 01:28:21,637
Okay. Lou.
1736
01:28:21,795 --> 01:28:24,901
I appreciate the opportunity
you've given me. I won't let you down.
1737
01:28:25,232 --> 01:28:26,734
Yeah, I'm sure you won't, son.
1738
01:28:26,900 --> 01:28:29,574
NICK: <i>From what I hear, people say</i>
<i>he's the nicest guy in the world.</i>
1739
01:28:29,736 --> 01:28:30,771
[KNOCKING IN TRUNK]
1740
01:28:30,937 --> 01:28:32,848
MAN: Mr. Sherman,
I'm sorry your coffee was cold.
1741
01:28:33,006 --> 01:28:34,041
Uh, Lou?
1742
01:28:34,207 --> 01:28:35,447
NICK:
<i>Most people.</i>
1743
01:28:35,609 --> 01:28:38,590
MAN:
Mr. Sherman, I'm hungry!
1744
01:28:38,745 --> 01:28:40,691
Can I come out now, please?
1745
01:28:40,847 --> 01:28:43,225
- You hear that?
- No.
1746
01:28:43,383 --> 01:28:45,488
Sounds like there's someone
in your trunk.
1747
01:28:45,685 --> 01:28:50,065
Why don't we let this
be, uh, our little secret?
1748
01:28:50,223 --> 01:28:51,634
MAN:
I need a shower.
1749
01:28:51,791 --> 01:28:54,067
NICK:
<i>Yeah. Turns out my new boss...</i>
1750
01:28:54,227 --> 01:28:56,434
<i>...is a twisted old fuck.</i>
1751
01:28:57,731 --> 01:29:01,611
<i>Meanwhile, the Pellit family put the most</i>
<i>senior person in charge of the company...</i>
1752
01:29:01,768 --> 01:29:04,772
<i>...which wasn't Kurt.</i>
<i>But he was okay with that.</i>
1753
01:29:04,938 --> 01:29:08,852
<i>Because he realized that when you're</i>
<i>the boss, sometimes people want you dead.</i>
1754
01:29:09,009 --> 01:29:12,388
- Hey, Kurt. Come in.
- Margie, I wanted to congratulate you.
1755
01:29:12,546 --> 01:29:13,581
Thank you.
1756
01:29:13,747 --> 01:29:17,524
If there's anything I can do to help out
before the baby gets here, let me know.
1757
01:29:17,684 --> 01:29:19,857
- What baby?
- Your baby.
1758
01:29:20,921 --> 01:29:23,925
- I'm not pregnant.
- So I'm just touching you?
1759
01:29:25,425 --> 01:29:26,563
Ay.
1760
01:29:26,927 --> 01:29:28,497
Julia.
1761
01:29:29,029 --> 01:29:33,478
I was thinking perhaps
we could drill the patient first.
1762
01:29:33,633 --> 01:29:34,668
NICK:
<i>And Dale?</i>
1763
01:29:35,035 --> 01:29:38,608
<i>Ultimately, he decided his only choice</i>
<i>was to screw Julia after all.</i>
1764
01:29:38,772 --> 01:29:42,777
You just continue to surprise me...
1765
01:29:42,943 --> 01:29:45,116
...you dirty, dirty little man.
1766
01:29:45,545 --> 01:29:47,491
Just you wait.
1767
01:29:49,115 --> 01:29:50,719
You like that, Dale?
1768
01:29:50,884 --> 01:29:52,488
- You like that, Dale?
- Oh, my God, yeah.
1769
01:29:52,652 --> 01:29:54,495
Oh.
1770
01:29:55,689 --> 01:29:59,637
Oh, gosh, do I wish
I could have sex with Julia.
1771
01:29:59,793 --> 01:30:02,000
[PATIENT LAUGHS]
1772
01:30:02,495 --> 01:30:03,735
JULIA:
What?
1773
01:30:03,897 --> 01:30:06,673
I'm so sorry, but I couldn't keep it
together! It's amazing!
1774
01:30:06,833 --> 01:30:09,006
- She was talking to your penis!
- Who are you?
1775
01:30:09,169 --> 01:30:12,912
Julia, this is my good friend,
Kenny Sommerfeld.
1776
01:30:13,073 --> 01:30:14,746
Most Likely to Succeed.
1777
01:30:14,908 --> 01:30:16,979
- Give me some of that.
- Don't you touch me.
1778
01:30:17,143 --> 01:30:19,851
Now, Kenny here, he'll do
just about anything for 50 bucks.
1779
01:30:20,013 --> 01:30:22,084
- Yeah, it's true.
- Yeah, and it's not pretty.
1780
01:30:22,248 --> 01:30:24,990
But that's why I asked him
to help me frame you.
1781
01:30:25,151 --> 01:30:29,293
Really? Is this all you've got?
Your word against mine?
1782
01:30:29,456 --> 01:30:31,026
Don't forget about that guy.
1783
01:30:31,191 --> 01:30:34,764
Say hi to my cameraman.
He's filmed a lot of Hollywood hits.
1784
01:30:34,928 --> 01:30:36,669
JULIA:
You are a sick little bastard.
1785
01:30:36,830 --> 01:30:38,639
You are a sick little bastard.
1786
01:30:38,798 --> 01:30:40,243
Shut the fuck up for a second.
1787
01:30:40,400 --> 01:30:43,381
Julia, shut the fuck up for a second,
all right?
1788
01:30:43,536 --> 01:30:45,482
Now, here's what's gonna happen, okay?
1789
01:30:45,639 --> 01:30:50,918
I'm going to take a very nice, very expensive
two-week vacation with my fianc閑.
1790
01:30:51,077 --> 01:30:54,217
Let's call it a honeymoon, all right?
And you are gonna pay for it.
1791
01:30:54,414 --> 01:30:59,454
Then I'm going to return
to a rape-free workplace, all right?
1792
01:30:59,619 --> 01:31:04,568
Because if you so much as look
at my sexy little ass, Julia...
1793
01:31:04,724 --> 01:31:07,466
...I will have yours locked the fuck up...
1794
01:31:07,627 --> 01:31:13,543
...you crazy bitch whore!
1795
01:31:14,401 --> 01:31:17,007
Ah, that felt good.
1796
01:31:24,911 --> 01:31:28,757
How's the hair? Is it good, is it great?
It's not as bad as his, is it?
1797
01:31:30,383 --> 01:31:35,799
I had no idea that you called
your grandmother "Gam Gam."
1798
01:31:36,823 --> 01:31:38,496
[SNICKERS]
1799
01:31:38,892 --> 01:31:40,462
Calm down!
1800
01:31:41,895 --> 01:31:43,033
Oh!
1801
01:31:46,199 --> 01:31:49,408
Holy shit. He went out the door.
1802
01:31:49,736 --> 01:31:52,945
This place is awful. It's like
The Sharper Image took a shit in here.
1803
01:31:53,106 --> 01:31:54,312
Five. Forty, with the briefcase.
1804
01:31:54,474 --> 01:31:57,080
Oh, shut up about the briefcase.
1805
01:31:57,243 --> 01:32:01,055
Gonna put that "briefcabe" up my ass.
1806
01:32:01,214 --> 01:32:02,249
[CHUCKLING]
1807
01:32:02,415 --> 01:32:04,292
I'm gonna put that briefcase up my ass!
1808
01:32:04,451 --> 01:32:06,158
[LAUGHING]
1809
01:32:11,758 --> 01:32:12,793
[SINGING]
<i>A dancin' girl</i>
1810
01:32:12,959 --> 01:32:14,905
- You're good? He's good.
- Yeah, I'm okay.
1811
01:32:15,261 --> 01:32:17,798
Or else little Stacy here's
gonna get a little peek...
1812
01:32:17,964 --> 01:32:21,377
...at my photo album.
1813
01:32:24,137 --> 01:32:26,743
One more. Let's fix this.
1814
01:32:28,608 --> 01:32:31,316
Have you ever in your life
seen this much co--?
1815
01:32:34,047 --> 01:32:36,823
[SINGING]
<i>Pee, pee, pee, pee on the--</i>
1816
01:32:38,284 --> 01:32:39,490
Let's--
1817
01:32:42,388 --> 01:32:43,867
[SNEEZES]
1818
01:32:44,023 --> 01:32:46,594
Now I'm sneezing dust bunnies.
Is that diabetes?
1819
01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:48,762
I'm a pharmacist, not a doctor.
1820
01:32:48,928 --> 01:32:50,669
Is that my brain?
Take my temperature.
1821
01:32:50,830 --> 01:32:52,275
Have you any, uh, roofies?
1822
01:32:52,432 --> 01:32:54,275
I want a lollipop.
Do you like karaoke?
1823
01:32:54,434 --> 01:32:57,210
Do you have MDMA?
I'll suck your d--
1824
01:33:02,509 --> 01:33:04,352
Shit happens.
1825
01:33:06,012 --> 01:33:10,893
NICK: What is your projected outside date
of completion, Motherfcrrrrrrrr?
1826
01:33:12,152 --> 01:33:13,631
[COUGHS]
1827
01:33:13,787 --> 01:33:15,425
[BURPS]
1828
01:33:18,291 --> 01:33:19,531
[CLEARS THROAT]
1829
01:33:19,692 --> 01:33:21,433
Give me that again.
1830
01:33:23,997 --> 01:33:26,307
-Oh, hi! Hi! Hello.
KURT: Hi.
1831
01:33:26,466 --> 01:33:27,706
Come on, what are you--?
1832
01:33:27,867 --> 01:33:29,346
[ALL CHUCKLE]
1833
01:33:29,502 --> 01:33:32,745
Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel
and showing her the 50 states.
1834
01:33:32,906 --> 01:33:34,317
I don't know what that means.
1835
01:33:34,474 --> 01:33:36,454
- It's a phrase.
- I don't think so.
1836
01:33:36,609 --> 01:33:40,455
Yeah, it is. It certainly is.
Yeah, it definitely is.
1837
01:33:40,613 --> 01:33:42,889
- Really?
- Yeah, it's from a movie.
1838
01:33:43,049 --> 01:33:44,084
NICK:
Uh-uh.
1839
01:33:44,250 --> 01:33:45,923
It is now.
1840
01:33:46,219 --> 01:33:47,926
Beautiful.
1841
01:37:35,114 --> 01:37:37,116
== sync & corrected by into-the-light ==
http://subscene.com/english/Horrible-Bosses/subtitle-483357.aspx
Topic: Learn English by watching movies and reading subtitles (Read 18145 times)