☯☼☯ SEO and Non-SEO (Science-Education-Omnilogy) Forum ☯☼☯
Normal Incels (Incels Without Hate) => A forum for incels who are normal people (no terrorists, no rapists, no racists, no pedophiles, no haters and so on) => Topic started by: MSL on September 12, 2022, 03:20:41 AM
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If you want to have some chance with your one-it-is (a.k.a. oneitis) read these points
I mentioned the situation with my first oneitis (http://www.seo-forum-seo-luntan.com/a-forum-for-incels-who-are-normal-people-no-terrorists-no-rapists-no-racists-no-pedophiles-no-haters-and-so-on/what-was-your-biggest-mistake-when-you-tried-to-ascend-with-a-girl-you-like/msg45719/#msg45719) and these days I was thinking about how many of the incels and the other noncel but without psychological and related knowledge boys are making huge mistakes when hoping that theirs oneitises (one-it-ises) will like them some day.
1. The boys are too naive to think that if they like a girl very much then she must like them too. It's a super naive entitlement! Guys, think about it: are you able to like even those extremely ugly girls (in your eyes) only because they like you? Only "I like you (I love you)!" isn't enough (in the majority of the cases). Break the entitlement mindset now if you want to have some real chances!
2. To have some skill and/or to develop something new is great. But don't be naive to expect that it's enough for her to like you. Remember that it may be one of all those "necessary but not sufficient" (http://www.seo-forum-seo-luntan.com/a-forum-for-incels-who-are-normal-people-no-terrorists-no-rapists-no-racists-no-pedophiles-no-haters-and-so-on/incels-should-know-what-is-necessary-but-not-sufficient/) things or even it may be a useless one (to her).
3. Try your best to find out what kind of males she likes (looks but also personality); don't be shallow like "She likes only Chads." (even so, at least learn which kind of Chads she do prefer). Once you find her ideal for man, do your best to get closer to this ideal (but don't be like a "I copy 1:1 everything!", develop your own, unique positive sides too).
I'll try to make all these points clearer next time (with some concrete examples).
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There is opinion like that having oneitis is psychologically unhealthy. Time spent obsessing over a oneitis can interfere with almost everything, and severely hamper personal progress. The effect of unrequited love can lead to mental health issues. A degraded mental state, combined with obsession, can also cause a person to not pay attention to legitimate interest from others, making oneitis a vicious circle.
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And now the clarifications.
1. I know that many incels do hate when people are talking that they are entitled so I don't want to accuse them like this... but if you're an incel (or anybody else) and you do think that only "I like her" (or "I love her") is enough she to like him (love him) back it's really something that belongs to one of these (or to some of these, or all of these): - entitlement mentality (entitlement mindset)
- naivity
- delusions
Maybe you feel/think that it's very romantic to say "I ｌｏｖｅ ｙｏｕ！" or to express your feelings in some pretty way. But it's not going to work if she is not into you (i. e. doesn't like you). Never stop to imagine one disgusting woman who likes you and who is being romantic, gentle and so on... and how this is not going to make her even 10% more attractive to you if she doesn't change her body and face somehow and doesn't get some more positive qualities.
2. Some guys think like this "Hey, I am a good runner. I run faster than most of the normies! Why she doesn't like me?!" or "I am such a good gamer/poet/mathematician/etc., why she's not proud to have a boyfriend like me?!"
Well guys, imagine some ugly girl which is an amazing runner or super talanted painter/singer/historian/etc. Is it enough for you to choose her to be your girlfriend if she's not changing (improving) her looks (face and body) and not getting more positive qualities (like not cheating, being clean, able to help you with something, etc.)?
You need to improve your body and to become richer and/or popular, etc. to be able to attract the females. For example, if you're a good runner it's a good beginning but you also may start to improve your clothes, your knowledge, your incomes... just never forget to empower yourself with the right maxxing (gymmaxx, edumaxx, moneymaxx, popularitymaxx, socialmaxx and so on.)
3. If you are able to find out which males are her ideal males (for example John Cena or Brad Pitt）start to resemble them with little steps (first the bodies, then the styles, after that their personalities) and at the same time develop yourself in additional ways. Let's say, that her ideal male (males) doesn't play chess, but you like chess, so you can do your best to be a better chess player. Or if you like something else (which is positive and developing/empowering for you) like fencing or Japanese language, you can learn it well.
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There is opinion like that having oneitis is psychologically unhealthy. Time spent obsessing over a oneitis can interfere with almost everything, and severely hamper personal progress. The effect of unrequited love can lead to mental health issues. A degraded mental state, combined with obsession, can also cause a person to not pay attention to legitimate interest from others, making oneitis a vicious circle.
I suppose that it depends on who is in love and who is the oneitis. For some people it may be a motivation and lifefuel to develop themselves. Of course, if at the end, it happens to be an unrequited love there may be some mental pains and/or issues.
I ｄｏ ａｇｒｅｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈａｔ ｏｎｅｉｔｉｓ ｍａｙ ｃａｕｓｅ ａ ｐｅｒｓｏｎ ｔｏ ｌｏｓｅ ｓｏｍｅ ｏｔｈｅｒ ｏｐｐｏｒｔｕｎｉｔｉｅｓ （ｔｈｅｒｅ ｍａｙ ｂｅ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｏｎｅｓ ｔｈａｎ ｈｉｓ ｏｎｅｉｔｉｓ）．
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Of course, if you're a good and sane man and she is a good and sane woman, you can reach a lot of decent tops! What's "top"? It is the highest or uppermost point, part, or surface of something like these. Yes.
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That's it... Iｔ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｄｅｐｅｎｄｓ ｏｎ ｗｈｏ ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ａｎｄ ｗｈｏ ｉｓ ｓｈｅ．
Oｆ ｃｏｕｒｓｅ， ｉｔ＇ｓ ｎｏｔ ｇｏｏｄ ｔｏ ｆｏｃｕｓ ｏｎｌｙ ｏｎ ｏｎｅ ｐｅｒｓｏｎ （ｅｓｐｅｃｉａｌｌｙ ｉｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｏｎｅ ｄｏｅｓｎ＇ｔ ｃａｒｅ ａｂｏｕｔ ｙｏｕ）， ｂｕｔ ｓｔｉｌｌ， ｉｔ ｉｓ ｖｅｒｙ ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｔ ｗｈｅｎ ｉｔ ｃｏｍｅｓ ｔｏ ｓｕｂｊｅｃｔｓ ｗｈｏ ａｒｅ ｍｏrｅ ｄｅｖｅｌｏｐｅｄ ａｎｄ ｗｏｒｔｈｙ ａｎｄ ｓｕｂｊｅｃｔｓ ｗｈｏ ａｒｅ ｂａｄ ａｎｄ／ｏｒ ｌｏｗ ｌｅｖｅｌｅｄ．
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That's it... Iｔ ｒｅａｌｌｙ ｄｅｐｅｎｄｓ ｏｎ ｗｈｏ ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ａｎｄ ｗｈｏ ｉｓ ｓｈｅ． Oｆ ｃｏｕｒｓｅ， ｉｔ＇ｓ ｎｏｔ ｇｏｏｄ ｔｏ ｆｏｃｕｓ ｏｎｌｙ ｏｎ ｏｎｅ ｐｅｒｓｏｎ （ｅｓｐｅｃｉａｌｌｙ ｉｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｏｎｅ ｄｏｅｓｎ＇ｔ ｃａｒｅ ａｂｏｕｔ ｙｏｕ）， ｂｕｔ ｓｔｉｌｌ， ｉｔ ｉｓ ｖｅｒｙ ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｔ ｗｈｅｎ ｉｔ ｃｏｍｅｓ ｔｏ ｓｕｂｊｅｃｔｓ ｗｈｏ ａｒｅ ｍｏrｅ ｄｅｖｅｌｏｐｅｄ ａｎｄ ｗｏｒｔｈｙ ａｎｄ ｓｕｂｊｅｃｔｓ ｗｈｏ ａｒｅ ｂａｄ ａｎｄ／ｏｒ ｌｏｗ ｌｅｖｅｌｅｄ．
I think it's the psychology. You know like they think they can't or anything? I don't know. I'm trying to understand.
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The psychology (like too shy to say a word or too rude when it comes to express his feelings) is sometimes the one and only problem. But it's not always like that. Let's say 20% of the guys are shy and other 30% are too rude and disgusting. It makes 50% (a half) but what about the rest? The rest are all those who are just not attractive enough (too fat or too smelly; too tall or too short; too ugly, too old...)
You are a girl and you can easily understand it with this example: let's assume that there is that person who is not having the problem "I ｔｈｉｎｋ I ｃａｎ＇ｔ！ I ａｍ ｓｏ ｓｈｙ :(！" and he approaches you. He's also not rude, he is even romantic and pays your drinks, buys you flowers, draws pictures for you, writes poems takes you to the most pretty places and buys you all he can and all you like. But, what if he's a bald man who is 35 years elder than you and even shorter than you? 99.99% chance that you will friendzone him with "I think we can be just friends." And if this person really wants to attract you only his psychology and personality isn't going to help him. He should get an amazing body, he should be very popular and respectful, he should be very rich and full of knowledge... and still, maybe you'll never give him a chance. But if he is so developed already maybe some other girls or women will accept him... so what I mean is that the self-improvement makes sense.
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The psychology (like too shy to say a word or too rude when it comes to express his feelings) is sometimes the one and only problem. But it's not always like that. Let's say 20% of the guys are shy and other 30% are too rude and disgusting. It makes 50% (a half) but what about the rest? The rest are all those who are just not attractive enough (too fat or too smelly; too tall or too short; too ugly, too old...)
You are a girl and you can easily understand it with this example: let's assume that there is that person who is not having the problem "I ｔｈｉｎｋ I ｃａｎ＇ｔ！ I ａｍ ｓｏ ｓｈｙ :(！" and he approaches you. He's also not rude, he is even romantic and pays your drinks, buys you flowers, draws pictures for you, writes poems takes you to the most pretty places and buys you all he can and all you like. But, what if he's a bald man who is 35 years elder than you and even shorter than you? 99.99% chance that you will friendzone him with "I think we can be just friends." And if this person really wants to attract you only his psychology and personality isn't going to help him. He should get an amazing body, he should be very popular and respectful, he should be very rich and full of knowledge... and still, maybe you'll never give him a chance. But if he is so developed already maybe some other girls or women will accept him... so what I mean is that the self-improvement makes sense.
"35 years older than you"
That's pedophilia. I'm 14 but I get your point.
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The age was just an example. And by the way if an adult likes a 14 years old it's not pedophiia, it's ephebophilia. In some countries 14 years old is the age of consent.
Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent)
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The age was just an example. And by the way if an adult likes a 14 years old it's not pedophiia, it's ephebophilia. In some countries 14 years old is the age of consent.
Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent)
Either way. Both involve minors.
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One is involving kids (and that's why it's a psychiatric diagnosis (perversion) and crimininalized), the other one is involving teenagers. Many of the teenagers look like adults, you can see these 14 years old teenagers: https://cn.bing.com/images/search?q=14%20years%20old%20girl&qs=n&form=BESBTB&sp=-1&pq=14%20years%20old%20girl&sc=10-17&cvid=92775AF5FBDB467CA5ABD1527821A8A9&ghsh=0&ghacc=0&first=1&tsc=ImageHoverTitle&ensearch=1 (https://cn.bing.com/images/search?q=14%20years%20old%20girl&qs=n&form=BESBTB&sp=-1&pq=14%20years%20old%20girl&sc=10-17&cvid=92775AF5FBDB467CA5ABD1527821A8A9&ghsh=0&ghacc=0&first=1&tsc=ImageHoverTitle&ensearch=1) and in some states (countries) the teenagers can get married (legally). So the ephebophilia isn't a diagnosis (perversion) and depends on the local laws (age of consent) is or isn't criminalized.
Just making clear that there is a big difference between "child"/"kid" and "teenager". If you didn't know it, The canonical ages for marriage in the Middle Ages was 12 for girls and 14 for boys (the accepted ages of puberty).
(Source: https://jannagnoelle.com/2016/04/25/love-and-marriage-in-the-middle-ages/#:~:text=The%20canonical%20ages%20for%20marriage%20in%20the%20Middle,from%20age%207%20onwards%29%20much%20earlier%20than%20decreed. (https://jannagnoelle.com/2016/04/25/love-and-marriage-in-the-middle-ages/#:~:text=The%20canonical%20ages%20for%20marriage%20in%20the%20Middle,from%20age%207%20onwards%29%20much%20earlier%20than%20decreed.))
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Hi there! No offence. Only reminded me to notice that we haven't an agecuck topic and I created one: Agecuck (http://www.seo-forum-seo-luntan.com/a-forum-for-incels-who-are-normal-people-no-terrorists-no-rapists-no-racists-no-pedophiles-no-haters-and-so-on/what-is-agecuck/) 8)
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Alright. 8) :)
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Some people can't make difference between this and that.