[MSL]

Forum for the unwanted, unloved and unattractive people

  I'd like to start a forum for the men and women all around the world who are unwanted and/or unloved and/or unattractive. At the beginning I plan this to be just a topic in this omnilogy forum. If there are many visitors and participants, we may surely make a board here! And then, if the board is still not enough, we may really make a separate forum for all of you, dear unwanted, unloved, unattractive people!
 Let's begin it NOW!

[MSL]

Why I didn't title it "A forum for the ugly people"

What is "ugly"?

  What is "ugly"? And why I don't think that "unwanted = ugly", "unloved = ugly", "unattractive = ugly"?
 As a philosopher (master's degree) and a person who graduated with a master thesis "About the different aspects of love" (philosophical anthropology), and a person who learned aesthetics, I'd like to ensure you all: UGLY IS SUBJECTIVE!!!
 Most of you aren't philosophers, so I'll explain it simply just with two fast examples:
 1/ Probably you know the proverb: "The beauty is in the eye of the beholder." A fast explanation? Mary may think that Peter is handsome, but May may think that he is ugly! Thomas may like Maria, but Jeff may feel that she is a disgusting woman! Lee thinks snakes are pretty, but Kim thinks they're terrible!... Got it? It's very subjective.
 2/ Many years ago in some societies people think fat women are pretty. Nowadays in the same societies people (mostly) doesn't like obese women. You see? It depends of the concrete person, of the time (the concrete temporal aesthetic values) and so on.
 

Why "ugly" doesn't equals unwanted, unloved, unattractive

And now I'll explain why "ugly" doesn't equals these (unwanted, unloved, unattractive).
 Even we accept "ugly" as something "objective", let's see why it's not the same as "unwanted", not the same as "unloved" and not the same as "unattractive".

1. Unwanted and ugly. Some unwanted may be unwanted, because he/she/it is considered ugly. But many unwanted people, animals or things are unwanted, not because they're ugly (or not only because they're ugly). There are many reasons something or someone to be unwanted. Many reasons, really! Some examples? Sure, here we go: not enough money, not enough responsibility, not enough feelings/emotions, not enough needs...

2. Unloved and ugly. Some unloved are unloved, because they're considered ugly. But many unloved people, animals or things are unloved, not because they're ugly (or not only because this reasons). There are many other reasons, really! Some examples: "She is not ugly, but she is not honest!", "He is not ugly, but he is not responsible!", "She is not ugly, but she is so selfish!", "He is not ugly, but he is so poor!", "She is not ugly, but she smells so bad!", "He is not ugly, but he is so crazy and psycho!", "She is not ugly, but she is a freak!", etc.

3. Unattractive and ugly. Well, probably, the "unattractive" and "ugly" are closer than the others (unloved and unwanted), BUT they're not 100% equal. Why? OK, let's say that most (or even all) of the ugly are unattractive. But unattractive may be also many others (even when they're very pretty), for example: violent, vulgar, dirty, smelly, poor, stingy, etc.
 Hey, you may be even HANDSOME (PRETTY) AND GOOD, but someone to say you're unattractive, because... you're just "too good". True stories!

[MSL]

Is that your fault that you're unwanted, unloved, unattractive?

It depends

  Is it your fault? In a word: it depends! Sounds boring? Maybe. But it's true. This is the truth: sometimes it may be your fault, sometimes it's other's fault, sometimes it's just mixed! Do you understand?
 Let's say 3 examples:

 A) Many or most of the people in your area like educated people. Yeah, but you're too lazy to read books (or e-books), to read Wikipedia, to search answers in Google, Yahoo, Bing, Baidu, Yandex, etc. Well, you got the opportunity to be clever, to be educated, right? But, just because of your laziness you didn't develop yourself as an educated boy/man or girl/woman. Whose fault is that? Of course it's yours! Lazy bones...
 The same example goes about the body -- if the people like muscles, not fat and you're lazy to sport (and unable to eat healthy) -- you'll not have an attractive body and you'll be most probably unattractive, unwanted, unloved...

 B) Let's say you're a good, clever, educated, good-looking, normal, creative and romantic person. Yeah, but you got the bad luck to live around greedy, gold-digger people, who are thinking only about money, property. If you're not rich, they'll think of you as a unattractive person, you'll be unwanted (even unloved). Is that your fault? Not at all. Not everyone can be rich (even when you're very clever, it's not sure, that you'll become rich, when you have no capital to start a good, stable business or you have no rich supportive relatives, friends, etc.) So, in this case, it's not your fault. It's other's fault, that they can value only the material stuff like money, gold, silver, flats, houses, villas, expensive fancy cars and so on.

 C) Sometimes it's mixed (complex). The fault may be in you and in the other's. Some simple example? OK. A boyfriend did something wrong. (His fault.) His girlfriend knows he has a good heart, handsome body and a brilliant brain, but she can't forgive him. (Her fault.) And then - no more love -- he is unloved, he is unwanted...

 There are many other examples. When you need them -- let me know.

[SEO]

It's a useful forum idea!

[MSL]

 Yes, it's true.

[Non-SEO]

I'm (mostly) unwanted, unloved... this is because (mostly) I'm unattractive. I'm doing (mostly) my best to be more attractive, but I can't do it very well.

[MSL]

 I think most of us are like this... Aren't we?

[MSL]

 Now I'm more attractive than before, but I'm still unwanted and unloved.

[SEO]

Should say why and how.

[MSL]

Should say why and how.

 OK, it's a good question (questions). The answers:
1. I lost some weight.
2. Reduced the daily calories intake and increased the sport activity.
 

[Gay]

It may be useful for the incels (love shy) and others.

[MSL]

 About the loneliness. Right now I sent a message to a person, who said he's lonely. Let me repost it here, maybe it's useful for many of the lonely, unloved, unwanted, etc. people:

About the loneliness. Well, to tell you the truth, you sound like a very normal and reasonable person and that's why (as a scientist, philosopher) I think it's nothing to do about your thinking, your behavior probably. There are a lot (complex) reasons for the loneliness: for example -- 1. Not enough people around you. 2. There are enough people, but you are better than them in many aspects and you can't find somebody who you may really like and he/she may really likes you. 3. Not enough trying ("enough" is subjective, but what I mean it's better to try to connect with new persons 5 times a day, not only once a year, you know), 4. Some personal problem (that a person himself may not realize like "He is fat, we hate fat people!" or "He is black. We like white!" and so on, depends of the society and the microsociety - the district, the town, you know).
 So, what I mean is that you're a clever person and you can find what is your reason (or reasons) for this.
 I rare answer here, hope my answer was helpful!
 Regards: an European philosopher, living in China.

[MSL]

 And there is a big new board concretely about the incels. It's for incels without hate. Notice it.