[英语课]

The ways you should know

                     to get along in the office

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Personality clashes and differences in background and working styles result in conflicts.

When a team is composed of individuals coming from very different backgrounds, how they get along each other is affected because of their different perceptions in leadership, education, personal experiences, ethnicity, political preferences etc. Others are task-oriented, while others are more people-oriented when it comes to their working style.

Be open to receiving feedback. Receiving feedback is a way for you gain awareness of your weaknesses and doing something about them. Do not take it personally when you face up to others perceptions about you. If you take it too personally, emotions get in the way and your working relationships will suffer.

Do not jump to conclusions. Suspicions, negative thoughts and being too judgmental of others will do you no good. Gather as much information as possible. When you react to situations without knowing the whole story will cause misunderstandings.

Resolve conflicts early. When negative situations arise, do not make them worse by taking it for granted. Develop a plan of action to address the problem with your co-worker, work together to resolve it before bringing it to your supervisor.

Set your limits. It is natural to develop friendships within the workplace. However, it is important to set boundaries so that your friendship does not interfere with your work. Focus on your work tasks and limit personal discussions to lunch works or after working hours.

Understand and accept personal and cultural differences. Try to look at things from your co-workers’ perspective. If you recognize the need for cooperation, you will be more productive and your relationship as co-workers will be smoother.

Clarify expectations. Reduce potential conflicts by encouraging open communication and clarifying expectations. Don’t expect something from your co-worker that you didn’t specifically ask from her. Requests should be as specific as possible. Do not make people guess.

Set a good example. What kind of behaviors do you expect from your co-workers? Model them. If you want others to be open with you, then be open with them. If you want people to be nice to you, be nice to them.

If someone picks a fight, end it. Do not continue that fight. Pause and think how you can handle the situation without worsening it.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9386.html

[carolsmith]

Wow, superb images, im also agreed. Life is vry beautiful.....

[英语课]

7 things women care most about men

It is not all about the looks. Men might find this hard to believe, but it is true. For most women, looks are a requisite but not the most important thing they are looking for in a guy. There are a handful of other things that women look for in their man and a proper mix of these things is what most girls prefer. In case you rank not too high in the looks department or if you are right at the top, whatever is the case, read on to know what the other factors that girls care about are.


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1. Personality

You may have the looks, but if you don’t have the personality to go with it then it’s a bummer. By personality we mean the way you carry yourself, what you wear, your gait, are you confident or not etc. A good personality instantly attracts and can more than make up for average looks.

2. Mannerisms

There are few things that are as big a turn off as bad manners. If you are rude to waiters or drivers, or if you are too loud in public, or if you display too much rage when travelling in traffic then you immediately fall into a girls ‘stay away from’ list. You have to have good manners. It is more important than looks for sure.

3. Care & Compassion

You could have a charming personality and good manners, but if you show no care and compassion towards her and the people you love then you are not ‘the man’. We don’t mean to pressurise you with all these expectations, but what we mean to say is that you must cultivate a basic level of care and compassion.

4. Intelligence

Intelligence is a turn on. If you are well read, well travelled, well acquainted with the ways of the world then you are going to be a hit with the ladies irrespective of your looks. The perfect example of an intelligent man with average looks is Salman Rushdie.

5. Money

This has got to be the oldest cliché ever but it still holds true. If you have the money, you havethe girls. Period.

6. Education

You can never go wrong with education. The more educated you are, the more things will work in your favour. Education guarantees good work opportunities, income, the ability to see things with a wider perspective. Girls will always prefer well educated guys, no matter their looks.

7. Companionship

You could all but look ordinary but if you are her best friend and a good companion to her, she will NEVER leave you. Like our article suggests, it certainly is not all about the looks. There are many more things that are important to girls, and if you those then your average looks won't come in the way of you getting the girl.


http://user.qzone.qq.com/448530028/blog/1342764042#!app=2&via=QZ.HashRefresh&pos=1342764042

[AuntT]

 I think that for the wonderful life health is number one.

[英语课]

Ensure the quality of sleep:

              8 things never do before going to sleep

Oh, the power of a good night’s sleep. A whole gamut of positive benefits can be seen from getting enough rest, but for many of us, hitting the sack can be challenging. There’s plenty of advice out there about what to do to get to sleep but what about what not to do? Click through for some of the pre-bedtime activities that could be hurting your chance at getting a good night’s sleep.


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1. Exercise

No, you don’t get to ditch your yoga mat or running shoes all together. Exercise is a vital activity for your health, and can actually contribute to getting better-quality sleep. The problem, though, is that exercising within three hours of bedtime can raise your body temperature, and make dozing off more difficult. Breaking a sweat, then, is best left for earlier in the day!

2. Watch TV/Surf the Web

Studies have shown that pre-slumber screen time can impede your body’s ability to fall asleep. The likely culprit? Well, the bright lights of these screens can hinder the development of melatonin, the hormone that promotes sleep. So close that laptop and turn off that TV about an hour before bed.

3. Take a Hot Shower/Bath

Like exercise, hot showers and baths can actually help you fall asleep. The problem, however, comes out of taking one too close to the time you plan on hitting the sack. Being overheated can bring same affects just like late exercises.
 
4. Drink Too Many Fluids

Caffeine, of course, and alcohol both make it difficult to get a good night’s rest. But drinking a lot of any liquid within the last hour or two before you go to bed will lead to those dreaded late night bathroom breaks, and further disrupt your slumber. You shouldn’t go to bed thirsty, however, as you’ll likely wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water. Balance is key here.

5. Work

Whatever work or school issue it is, it can certainly wait until morning. Getting work done stimulates your brain and can cause you unneeded stress — pretty much the opposite of what you want to feel if you’re trying to fall asleep!

6. Read Engrossing Stories

Many of us have done this: you’re reading a really interesting novel and you tell yourself, “Oh just one more page!” Suddenly, it’s 2AM and you have to be awake in four hours. Yep, reading a really interesting book, essay or novel before bed will make it difficult to get to sleep. Perhaps you can remedy it by finding the most boring thing imaginable to read?!

7. Cuddle With Your Pets

As a child, I always wanted to have my beloved pet chihuahua sleep in my (twin) bed. And then came the reality: it’s amazing how much space a 6 pound creature can take up, and how grumpy chihuahuas can be when you disturb their slumber. The point is, sleeping with a pet in your bed can seriously disturb your sleep.

8. Have Serious Conversations

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “don’t go to bed angry.” And, as it turns out, it’s totally accurate! Research has shown that sleeping directly after a fight or traumatic experience will effectively preserve your emotions until you awake. The human body is adverse to falling asleep in dangerous situations — it’s a defense mechanism. Thus, you’ll have a much harder time falling asleep after a big blowout. It’s best to resolve conflicts before you hit the sack.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9534.html

[英语课]

Let your bad mood High up!

Although I'm all for including in activities to boost your mood, retail therapy is definitely a pricey way to do it. And it might make you feel worse in the long run if your shopping expedition makes a dent in your bank account. Here are some wallet-friendly ways to turn around a bad day:　

1.Start planning a trip.Make a plan to take some days off and start researching destination ideas. Research has shown that planning and anticipating a trip has an even greater effect on happiness than the actual trip itself.

2.Make yourself a happy meal. A happy meal is basically comfort food you can make at home that will help you feel better. Perhaps it's a childhood favorite like Oreos and milk or maybe a secret family recipe.

3.Set a goal and accomplish it. Set a small and reasonable goal and complete it before the end of the night. It can be simple tasks like washing the dishes or finishing up two chapters of a mystery novel. You'll feel better when you're getting things done.

4.Do something nice for someone. Doing a nice act for someone can make you feel better, studies have shown. They can be small acts like sending an email to your best friend telling her how much you appreciate her, or making dinner for your partner.

5.Remember the good. Write out a gratitude list of things that you're grateful for. Noting down a list of things that you are grateful for can renew your appreciation in things that you've been taking for granted. Writing a gratitude list will cause you to put more focus on the positive and less on the negative.


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6.Remind yourself that this is temporary. I really love the mantra "This too shall pass" because it reminds us that everything — including positive and negative events — is temporary. In a few days, weeks, or years, you will probably get over it. All that matters is knowing that there is a day you will move on and to not invest so much energy in thinking about an event that's temporary.

7.Sleep early. Sometimes all you can do after a stressful event is to give it time and sleep on it. Head to bed early tonight so that you'll wake up well rested and ready to tackle the next day with gusto. Not getting enough sleep can cause you to be more cranky and sensitive, so you should definitely get a full night's rest after a bad day.

8.SOS a friend.Tell your friend you need an emergency hangout to get your mind off of things. Having someone else around can get you out of the negative rut. It's always nice to have an understanding ear and someone to distract you.

9.Animal therapy. Many studies have shown that owning a pet is related to lower rates of depression and blood pressure. If you don't have a pet, perhaps play with a neighbor's furry friend or visit a shelter to coo over the cute puppies.

10.Meditate. Close your eyes, take a few breaths, and mentally release all that is bothering you. Meditation will give your brain a break from the stress and it will maybe even help you put things into perspective and help you realize that your situation isn't so dire after all.

11.Exercise. As we all know, exercise produces endorphins, chemicals that make you feel good. Go to the gym and play your favorite workout songs and get a good workout. You'll be feeling better in no time.

12.Watch a comedy. Laughter is the best medicine and watching a funny movie, TV show, or YouTube video can distract you from the negative events in your life.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9576.html

[英语课]

How to become the most attractive one

                                         in the social network

       I know you can think of a time when you were networking and a very smiley, ambitious attendee came up and shook your hand, eagerly offering their business card and a 20 minute spiel of what they do. No matter what their line of work, you’re instantaneously bored just because of how they started the conversation. That’s because nobody actually enjoys listening to others talk about themselves. Certainly not a long ramble without an invitation.

       But even though you might be annoyed by the idea, can you also remember a time when you were at a similar event and then ended up being that person?

　　Maybe it happened because you actually think what you do is interesting to everyone or you were nervous about what you should be doing in that environment and you were just trying to fill conversation.
　　
　　But doing this is how you end up further back from where you started.


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　　When you approach the idea of networking as a ‘do or die’ situation, you’re going to get nothing (especially valuable contacts) out of it. In a world full of social media generated conversation, “building relationships” is one of the biggest buzz phrases — and with good reason. You’re not going to be remembered unless you’ve provided value . And blabbering on and on to grow awareness of what you do professionally and how you can be hired isn’t valuable. You need to go above and beyond to be different than everyone else by tailoring the conversation to always benefit others. These steps will help you become the most interesting person in the room (even if you’re an introvert) and grow a strong and valuable network of people:

　　1. Be picky about giving out business cards. When someone approaches me with a business card in my hand before I can even introduce myself, they’re already dismissed as someone I would be interested in learning about. You are not more legitimate to me if you printed your information on a fancy piece of paper. You’ve only wasted more trees by giving them to people you don’t know are interested in working with you. Carry only a couple of cards with you at a time and don’t even pull your wallet out to trade until you’ve had a conversation that would lead you to believe there is a possibility to work together or help grow your networks. (Don’t feel bad if you run out. You were just that popular.)

　　2. Drop the elevator speech. The idea of having a pitch ready before you even arrive should make you want to gag. Because it will definitely have that effect on your unexpecting audience. You don’t need to recite business goodness to impress. Just feel out the environment and go with the flow. Obviously you’ll be asked what you do for a living because that’s what we have been trained to do in conversation. What will really intrigue is if you take this opportunity to explain how you help people reach their goals. When phrased this way, it makes you sound like a superhero. To give you an example, if you and I met I would say that “I help businesses grow brand awareness and increase sales by teaching and helping create content with social video”. That’s much more interesting than the typical ‘position, title, and opportunities I’m open to’ speech. I’ve shaped my explanation to lead to relevant conversation that will leave an impression on my audience, possibly triggering referrals or perhaps looking at their own needs to see how I can help them.

　　3. Don’t talk. Ask questions and then listen. Like I said before, no one likes to hear other people talk about themselves. But they will think you’re the most interesting person in the world if you want to know more about them. So ask questions and listen. Learn about the people you’re networking with and actually build upon a meaningful conversation that will make exchanging business cards more effective in the end. The more you ask about them, the more they will want to know about you for being interested in them.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9617.html

[英语课]

Ask yourself 5 questions every day

                                 to be the best of yourself

Try asking yourself some or all of these questions at the end of every day. Doing so should help you to become a more successful and a better person:


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1. What was the best thing that happened to me today?

What was it that made you particularly proud, happy or grateful? Was there a moment of joy or accomplishment?

Relive the feeling for an instant. We want more of those moments in our lives so let’s just think about something really positive and build on that. Too often we take good things for granted. We should enjoy them and be grateful. This question helps us to be positive, happy and appreciative.

2. What could I have done better today?

What lessons can you learn from the day’s experiences? What mistake did you make that you will avoid in the future? How could you have handled a situation or conversation better? Think about ways to improve in this area in the future.

3. What is the most important thing I must accomplish tomorrow?

What is the single task which will make the biggest difference? If you have a to-do list then this item will be on there — probably at the top. Think about how you are going to get this done early in the day. This question will help you focus on what is essential.

4. What new thing can I try tomorrow?

Life is a journey of discovery. We need to keep trying new things every day, no matter our age. What new approach or experience can you try?

5. Who is the most important person (or most important people) in my life and what am I doing for them?

Focus on someone you love — your partner, child, parent or other loved one. Have you told them and shown them how much you care? What can you do for them tomorrow to help, delight, and surprise them? We can be so busy that we neglect the most important people in our lives. This question can get you back on track.

That’s it. Five simple but powerful questions that can help you to improve your life. Try asking them before you go to bed tonight!

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9632.html

[英语课]

Ten essential habits of positive people

Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand? If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places! Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.


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1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives. Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life …

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones …

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

2. Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

The most positive people are the most grateful people. They do not focus on the potholes of their lives. They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences. They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do. They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities. They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time. They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!


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6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

7. Positive people smile a lot!

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

8. People who are positive are great communicators.

They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life. They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse. They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time. Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9730.html

[英语课]

Ten golden rules of personal finance

Working hard and being smart with your money aren't things you just should do because they seem virtuous — these behaviors ultimately allow you to get more enjoyment out of life. You'll have no regrets when you're able to accomplish what's important to you because of your savvy ways. These are 10 golden rules that I try to live by; click through and then make a list of your own.


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1.Live Within Your Means

In order to be truly independent, it's imperative to live within your means. Your freedom is limited by owing money to anyone, whether it's a credit card company or a family member, so set yourself up for an unrestricted life by saving for the things you want and spending with a plan.

2.Work Hard

Your job and the salary you command are your biggest assets in building wealth. Do your best at work and take the steps to make yourself indispensable to set yourself up for the highest level of success.

3.Research Before You Act

Whether you're comparing travel package and a la carte prices for a vacation or looking up a company to see if it's legitimate, research is almost always worth your time.

4.Avoid Buyer's Remorse

Feeling guilty just doesn't sit well. Avoid buyer's remorse by asking yourself these questions before making a purchase: Do I love it? How often would I wear or use it? Can I afford it? Could I find it cheaper somewhere else?

5.Avoid Saver's Remorse

There is such a thing as being too thrifty for your own good. What's the point of squirreling away so much cash if you can't splurge occasionally on yourself and others? Include an amount of discretionary money into your budget to spend on things that you might not desperately need, but would make you smile.

6.Strive For Happiness

Finding a job that makes you happy most of the time is possible, and it's worth taking risks to discover what fulfills you. If for one reason or another you're stuck in a position that isn't ideal, at least strive to end your day with something that does make you happy.

7.Go For Quality, Not Quantity

Stuffing your closet with items that will fall apart in three months is a silly way to spend your hard earned cash. Buy a smaller quantity of things that are made to last, and you'll be the owner of higher quality items that look and feel like they're worth your money.

8.Face Your Weaknesses Head-On

We're not perfect, but admitting that you have weaknesses and doing your best to improve will allow you to continue growing. Invest time in yourself to be the most well-rounded person you can be.

9.Save For the Predictable and the Unexpected

We're all going to face retirement someday, and the best time to save for it is now. On the other hand, we also need to be prepared for the unexpected, like job loss or a medical emergency, so that we can remain in control of our finances even when other things aren't going our way.

10.Negotiate

Doors aren't closed until you hear the word no. Negotiating things like salary and benefits can get you ahead of the game, and all you need is the confidence to ask.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9748.html

[英语课]

Eight Ways to defeat the enemies of life

We all face ill-wishers, when we set goals and begin to reach them, no matter at what stage we are now: sceptics, critics, people who taunt us or say that we won’t succeed in what we do.
 
Such people are a very powerful force, because even with “innocent” jokes and comments they can make you slow down or even stop moving towards your goals.

How to deal with ill-wishers? Of course, they are all different, but here are a few good general tips:


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1. First, learn to identify them.

Sometimes we just do not realize that someone is our ill-wisher. They can be close friends or family members, so when they say negative things, we often believe them and take them to heart. You should remember that there is a big difference between realists and sceptics. Learn to listen to what others say, and note your reaction. If that upsets you and makes you feel depressed, then probably these people are your ill-wishers.

2. Think maybe they are right.

As was mentioned above, sometimes they are just trying to be realistic. They may have good reasons for their negative attitude. Take a step back and think objectively why they have doubts and see a real obstacle, and if so, then try to figure out how to overcome it. If you really want to reach your goal, you will find a solution. If your ill-wishers are certainly wrong, just move on.

3. Reject any negative thoughts they bring.

Enemies will always try to bring to you their negative thoughts, which can raise doubts about your rightness. Then it can grow and affect the way you feel about your goals. Stop these negative thoughts as soon as possible! Replace them with positive beliefs. Do not let them beat you!

4. Understand that you will always have enemies, and don’t take them to heart.

In everyone’s life there is at least one enemy. You cannot avoid seeing them but you can avoid listening to them. Just smile and do not pay attention to their words. They will not be able to affect you if you ignore their words.

5. Try to win them over.

Sometimes ill-wishers are your close people and you can’t ignore them. If so, it is better to enlist the help of these people, rather than fight them. Try to do it as soon as possible. Tell them that it is very important to you, and you need their help. Tell them that you understand their concerns, but you really need a positive attitude and support. If they are your close people who care about you, they will become your best allies.

6. Laugh with them.

Sometimes people feel uncomfortable when you take some changes and in order to get rid of this discomfort, they come up with different jokes and begin to taunt you. They just do not know how else to react. Be aware of this and just laugh. If you take their words as nothing more but just a good joke, it disarms them. They can continue making jokes at you, but it won’t longer affect you if you’ll just laugh at them.

7. Have ready-made counter-arguments and use them.

Sometimes people are just misinformed about what is happening. They may misunderstand what you are doing. Think on all their arguments and prepare your counter-arguments. Conduct your small research and justify the correctness of your actions. Then try to “enlighten” your ill-wishers. If you do it correctly, with a positive and sincere attitude, you can manage to make a person listen to you, and perhaps even change his opinion. If you fail, then at least you will be much better informed about their arguments and won’t let them give birth to doubts in your head.

8. Be sure that you are doing something good.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t convince them, you can’t avoid them, you can’t laugh with them… Therefore, you should just ignore them and continue telling yourself that when you reach your goal, it will be a reward for enduring these people.

Remember that enemies will always exist in your life. But they are just an additional obstacle on the way towards your goal. If you look for solutions, you can defeat them or make them your allies.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9762.html

[伤不起]

27 magic keys to keep love fresh

     1. Start each day with a kiss--I think this one is not that hard; on the contrary; it can be healthy and nice。

　　2. Date once a week--May not as often as once a week, let's say every other week or that a date can be inside your home and that you don't have to go somewhere fancy to have it, you get the idea, right?

　　3. Accept differences--No one is perfect. However; healthy arguments are good for the relationship, hence; the most important thing would be learning how to compromise with one another.

　　4. Be polite--Please, thank you, you are welcome… these are not only meant for strangers; your own spouse and family should come first and you must always use these phrases inside your home.

　　5. Be gentle--a person is supposed to be the closest to his/her spouse, being gentle is crucial to keep them close enough.

　　6. Give gifts--nice small gifts are appreciated every once in a while.

　　7. Touch--intimacy between married people is very important and touching is a means of communication that reflects closeness, connection and love; it is your way of keeping the spark alive.

　　8. Talk about dreams--dreams of the future that is; if you don't share your dreams with your spouse; then who?

　　9. Select a song that can be "our song" —— this sounds like a cliché, but it can be nice, don't you think?

　　10. Laugh together--laughter is medicine. When you share good laughs together; the fun grows in the relationship and you grow closer and stronger every day.

　　11. Send a card for no reason--another cliché? Maybe, but everyone likes to receive a nice "I love you" or "I miss you" notes every once in a while.

　　12. Listen--this could be the most important one ever, but note that you should listen with empathy and not just hear what they are saying; you should get involved.

　　13. Encourage--positive support and being there for one another is also very important; seek their support and give them yours and be generous!


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　　14. Do it his or her way--sometimes; you need to do things their way just to show how much you love them and respect their feelings.

　　15. Know his or her needs--what good is a spouse if he/she does not know the needs of their significant others? This should be your primary concern!

　　16. Compliment twice a day--everyone likes to hear something nice as a compliment; so give them that when it is due.

　　17. Call during the day--but don't over do it and be obsessed with calling him/her. Give them their space but also show them that you think of them by a 2-minutes phone call saying "how are you doing?"

　　18. Cuddle--yes; intimacy is very important and reflects love and deep feelings.

　　19. Show respect--showing respect is more important than showing love.

　　20. Welcome the other person home--show enthusiasm when they come home and greet them; this means that you are happy because they are home now and that you were waiting for them!

　　21. Celebrate birthdays in a big way--this does not mean a big party; just show them you care about their personal occasions.

　　隆重庆生——并不是说你要为对方的生日大操大办，而是说你要传递出你很重视这个特别日子的信息。

　　22. Forgive--from the heart and not only in words.

　　23. Set up a romantic getaway--this sounds like fun every once in a while; no harm in that!

　　24. Respond quickly to the other person's request--show them that you are doing this because you care for them the most.

　　25. Treat each others' friends and relatives with courtesy--even if you don't like their family and/or friends, you treat them with respect and courtesy for the sake of your spouse; they deserve that much.

　　26. Admit when wrong--don't be too arrogant to say it.

　　27. End the day with a hug--show closeness and again; intimacy.

http://edu.sina.com.cn/en/2012-08-27/113869172.shtml

[英语课]

Lead a more meaningful life

It can be easy to run through the maze of life without pausing to think of its meaning.

Does what I’m doing matter? More importantly, does it matter to me?

Feeling that what you’re doing has a real purpose and meaning that matters to you can make a huge difference in your life. It makes getting up each day the most exciting thing in the world. You can’t wait to get started. Forget trying to force yourself to work hard, it becomes more important to remind yourself to take breaks to eat!

But how can we cultivate a more meaningful life? The answer is usually complicated. It can depend on many factors. I’ve written down 10 ideas that I believe will help you find meaning in your life every day, so that you can’t wait to get up in the morning and see what the day will bring.


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1. Know What’s Important

Know what’s important for you. Write down your top 5 things that you believe are the essence of how you want to live life. This can include things like “family time,” or “sing every day.” It could also include more complex ideas, like “honesty” and “simplicity.”

2. Pursue Your Passion

I believe everyone should pursue their passion in life. It’s what makes life worth living, and gives our lives true meaning and purpose. Each time you work on something you love, it creates joy inside you like nothing else. Finding a way to use your passions to give back to the world will give your life ultimate meaning.

If you can’t manage (or aren’t ready) to work on your passion for a living, be sure and make time for it every day. By working on your passion and becoming an expert in it, you will eventually have the opportunity to make money from it. Be ready to seize that opportunity!

3. Discover Your Life’s Purpose

If you had to give yourself a reason to live, what would it be? What would you stand for? What principles do you hold highest? Is your life’s purpose to help others? Is it to inspire others with great works of art, or you words? Finding your life’s purpose is a daunting task, and when I first heard the idea, I had no idea where to start.

4. Be Self-Aware

Be aware of yourself and your actions. Remain mindful of what you do at all times, and make sure you are living life according to your principles, your life’s purpose, and what you are passionate about. Review your actions each day, taking stock of those that strayed from your path. Work towards correcting any incidents in the future. Meditation is a great tool for accomplishing this task. It helps us increase our self-awareness throughout the day.


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5. Focus

Rather than chasing 3 or 4 goals and making very little progress on them, place all of your energy on one thing. Focus. Not only will you alleviate some of the stress associated with trying to juggle so many tasks, you will be much more successful. Try and align your goal with something you are passionate about, so that there will be an intrinsic drive to work hard and do well.

6. People More Than Things

Often, we are faced with wanting to buy material goods. I recommend you consider carefully what you purchase, and think more about spending your money on experiences with friends and family. Not only will this give deeper meaning to your life by focusing on your relationships rather than material wealth, but you will be a happier person as a result.

7. Live With Compassion

Both for yourself, and others. Keep in mind the following quote:

"One must be compassionate to one's self before external compassion." For some, compassion is the purpose of life, what gives it meaning, and what leads to ultimate happiness.

8. Find a Way to Give Back

Do something that both honors your beliefs and passions, while giving something back to the world. By giving something back, we inevitably find purpose in the act. By cultivating more of these activities, you will find your life has more meaning and purpose behind it.

9. Simplify Your Life

By simplifying your life, you’ll have more time to do what fulfills you and gives your life meaning. It can also help reduce stress and make your overall life easier to manage. It can also greatly improve your productivity. If you’ve never tried to simplify things before, it really is a great feeling.

10. Set Daily Goals

In the morning, before you start your day, create a list of 3 goals that you find fulfilling and meaningful. Make sure they adhere to your set of principles and beliefs. Tackle the hardest things first! Don’t make this list too long. By placing too many things on the list, you’ll feel the urge to multi-task, which is not good, or you’ll feel overwhelmed, which isn’t good either. By trying to do less, you’ll end up doing more.

Doing all of these things at once may seem daunting, but you can pick one thing at a time and slowly incorporate the ideas into your life. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Living a life of purpose gives both fulfillment and meaning to your journey.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9836.html

[英语课]

15 ways to be happy learned from children

Every morning my daughter and I go for a twenty-minute walk to my workplace. For me, in those twenty minutes, I’m in transit. For my toddler, it’s nothing less than a parade of flowers, fire trucks, pebbles, and friendly folk.

One morning, I noticed that a sweet old man, amused by my toddler, was watching her with a smile on his face. As we crossed his path, he chuckled to himself, “Children have all the fun!”

He’s right. They do. And clearly, I’m missing out! My age is no good reason for me to miss out on this street party!

Now, I try to remember that fun is a perspective. It’s not a force bound within the walls of amusement parks. The days that I remember this, it makes all the difference.

Line-ups are a great way to make new friends. Dusting is a contemporary dance. My world is a playground.

We are born with a complete understanding of fun, which seems to fade over time and conditioning. I say we learn a thing, or 15, from children.


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1. Be where you are.

Kids are really good at enjoying the moment. Adults are addicted to thinking about all the things we have to do tonight, tomorrow, next week. Where you are is where the fun is. Nowhere else.

2. Learn something new.

From new words to new facial expressions, kids are constantly mastering new skills. Make it a point to continuously be learning something, anything. Aren’t we the ones who tell our kids that “learning is fun”?

3. Get out of your comfort zone.

Toddlers take risks all day long. As we mature, we tend to stay in our safe place. Your day will be so much more exciting if you gather the guts to wear hot pink pants.

4. Find the beat.

While adults would find a car alarm loud and obnoxious, my daughter dances to the rhythm of the beat. Seek out the symphony in the background noise.

5. Smile 27 times more than you do.

I’ve heard that children smile 400 times a day and adults, only 15. Smiling is the catalyst to having fun.

6. Notice nature.

Every child is in awe of ants, birds, and dandelions. At some point, we become creatures of the concrete jungle. Allow yourself to be enamored by Mother Nature.

7. Climb things.

As soon as they discover their legs, kids start climbing everything. There is something about being above ground level that is somewhat thrilling. Climb a rock. Climb a tree. You’ll feel like the master of the universe.

8. Embrace your “flaws.”

Being self-conscious is stifling. My toddler brings more attention to her Buddha belly than I ever would. But she also has more fun.

9. Use your imagination.

A child can get lost in her make-believe world for hours. Imagine riding an elephant in Thailand. Or running a marathon on the Great Wall of China. You’ll have so much fun pretending that you might want to make it a reality—which leads to more fun than you can imagine.

10. Be unpredictable.

There is no knowing what a kid will get up to next. Step out of your ordinary routine and you’ll be surprised at how liberated you’ll feel.

11. Hand out high-fives.

For no reason at all, kids hand out high-fives like they just won gold at the Olympics. Next time you hear some good news, give somebody a high-five. It feels good to get pumped about the little things.

12. Slow down.

Children know how to take their sweet time. Allow yourself enough time to enjoy living. Rushing sucks all the fun out of the day.

13. Create.

Paint, draw, build, write. Kids clearly enjoy those activities. Fun is being in your creative element.

14. Get dirty.

Kids aren’t afraid to experience life hands on. Get right in there. Make sandcastles. Turn up a log.

15. Break the rules.

Fun doesn’t follow all the rules. Neither do kids. If it doesn’t hurt, go for it! Leave those pretty Christmas lights up year-round.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/kouyu/shiyong/9981.html

[英语课]

7 Lessons of life

                     30-year-old women should learn

A proper quarterlife crisis involves a certain amount of disillusionment, ennui, boredom, fear, anxiety, and growing pains. But those terrifying sounding emotions are the ones that get all the press—how about giving that “growing” some props for once?


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1. You Know What Friendship Is
 
In high school or college, friendship was mostly a matter of geography—who you had classes with or who lived down the hall or joined the same club. Out in the real world for a while, you’ve learned that real friendship is made of tougher and—and dare we say it—better stuff. (Although just wait until you’re in your thirties and everyone’s getting married and having kids…that’s when the real test comes.)
 
2. Sunscreen Is Important
 
Right around age twenty-five, you start to be able to tell who wears sunscreen and who’s a sun-worshipper—the sunscreeners still have dewy, youthful skin, while the tanners have the beginnings of crows-feet and brown spots. Which group do you want to be in?

3. You Don't Know Everything
 
Ever heard that saying, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” College makes you feel like you’ve got it all figured out, and that blinds you to the truth—which is that you know so little, you can’t even comprehend how little you know. Luckily, the real world is quite handy at disabusing you of the notion that you’re a twenty-two-year-old font of wisdom. At work, in relationships… the more experience you get, the more you realize how much more you still have to learn.
 
4. You Can’t Pull Off Every Trend

Skinny jeans, thigh-high boots, hippie headbands, crop tops—you can't win'em all. You’ve learned which ones work and that it's okay to abstain from the ones that don't.

5. Living with Five Roommates Is Terrible
 
It isn’t one totally awesome continuous bohemian girl-power slumber party. It’s just a pain in the ass. You’ve resolved that you’ll share your next apartment with only one other roommate.
 
6. Your Degree is Meaningless

All those hours you fretted about your major and wondering if it was marketable enough, if your GPA was high enough, and if your extracurriculars were impressive enough…and now you know that most employers just want to see that you’ve completed something. Who cares if it’s a degree in drama or basket-weaving or P.E.? Nobody cares about the particulars of what you did in college, only that you went and finished.
 
7. Everyone Compromises
 
So you thought you’d ride the powerful wave of your idealism into a job where you’d change the world and find glory? Sometimes you have to take a job because you need health insurance. Sometimes you make the sensible, safe decision instead of the one that you’re passionate about. Sometimes you make allowances in your righteous ideology to account for the fact that quite often, life is just about getting through the day. Congratulations—you’re human.

http://www.kukuspeak.com/a/laoshiwenzhang/shiyongyingyu/2012/0925/10085.html?1348553041