[英语课]

   Small son: " Ma, Ma! Dad has fallen over the cliff!"
   Mother: My goodness! Is he hurt?"
   Small son: “I don't know -- he hadn't stopped falling when I left!"

   小儿子：“妈，妈！爸爸跌下悬崖去了！”
   妈   妈：“我的天哪！他受伤了吗？”
   小儿子：“我不知道--我离开时他还在往下掉呢！”

[英语课]

 
   Barber: "How do you want your hair cut, sonny Jim?"
   Small customer:  " Like my Daddy's --with a hole in the top."

   理发师：“你的头发想理成什么样的，吉姆小朋友？”
   小顾客：“像我爸爸那样的--顶上一个洞。”

[英语课]

    A small girl was telling her friend all about her first visit to the zoo.
   "And I saw the elephants," she said,"and what do you think they were doing? --Picking up peanuts with their vacuum clearners!"

   一位小姑娘正在给她的朋友讲述她头一次逛动物园时的所有见闻。
  “我呀看见了大象，” 她说，“你想想它们在干什么？在用它们的真空吸尘器拣花生！"

[英语课]

    Mom: "Louisa, have you changed the water in the goldfish bowl?"
    Louisa: "No, Mom, they have not finished waht's in there yet!"

    妈   妈：“路易莎，你把金鱼缸里的水换过了吗？”
    路易莎：“没有，妈妈！它们还没有把缸里的水喝完哩！”

[英语课]

       When a very important person came to the house, little Penny was allowed to take him a glass of sherry. She handed it to him and then stood there staring.
      "What it it, Penny?" the guest asked.
      "I want to see you do you trick," she replied.
      "What trick is that?" he asked.
      "Well, Dad says you drink a like a fish."


      家里来了一位重要的人，小彭妮经允许给客人端去一杯雪利酒。她把酒递给客人之后，站在那儿目不转睛地看着。
      “怎么回事儿，彭妮？” 客人问。
      “我想看看你玩把戏，” 她回答说。
      “什么把戏呀？” 他问。
      “嘿，爸爸说你喝起酒来像一条鱼。”

    

    drink like a fish: 牛饮，大口大口地喝

[英语课]

    Johnny: "Mother, I just took a splinter out of my hand with a pin."
     Mother: "A pin! Don't you know that's dangerous?"
     Johnny: "Oh, no, Mother, I used a safety-pin."


     约翰尼：“妈妈，我刚才用别针把扎进手里的一根刺儿挑出来了。”
     母   亲：“别针! 难道你不知道那样危险吗？”
     约翰尼：“嗨，不危险，妈妈，我用的是安全别针。”

[英语课]

     Mother: "Why are you looking at the mirror with your eyes shut?"
     Small boy: "I want to see what I look like when I'm asleep."


     母   亲：“你为什么闭着眼睛照镜子？”
     小男孩：“我想看看我睡着的时候是什么样子。”

[英语课]

    Mother: "Did you share the three sticks of candy between your little brother and yourself?"
    Willie: "Yes, but i was awkward to divide the three, so I ate one first."

    妈妈：“那三根棒棒糖你是同小弟弟分着吃的吗？”
    威利：“是的，不过三根很难分，所以我先吃掉了一根。”

[英语课]

   One small boy on his first day in school was being inter-viewed by the school teacher.
    "Father's name?" asked the teacher, filling in a big official form.
    "Same as mine," answered the child.
    "No, no, no, " said the teacher. "I mean his Christian name."
    "'Oh, I don't know, miss," said the child.
    "Well, what does your mother call him?"
    "She calls him 'darling'".


     一个小男孩上学的第一天正接受学校老师的问话。
    “父亲叫什么名字？” 老师问道，她正在填写一张很大的正式表格。
    “和我的一样，” 那孩子回答道。
    “不，不，不，”老师说，“我是指他的教名。”
    “喔，我不知道，小姐，”孩子说。
    “唉，你妈妈叫他什么？”
    “她叫他'亲爱的’”。

[英语课]

   Visitor: “You are very quiet, Jennifer,"
  Jennifer: "Well, Mom gave me a quarter and told me not say anything about your strange red nose."


   来访者：“你很安静，詹妮弗。”
   詹妮弗：“嗯，妈妈给了我二角五分钱，叫我对你那奇怪的给鼻子不要说三道四。”

[英语课]

  Mother: "You've been fighting again --you have lost two of your front teeth!"
  Son: "I haven't lost them, Mom. I have them in my pocket."

   母亲：“你又打架了--你的两颗门牙都没了！”
   儿子：“门牙没有丢，妈妈，它们在我衣袋里。”

[英语课]

 
  Caller: "I wonder if I can see your mother, little boy. Is she engaged?"
  Little boy: "Engaged? She's married!"

  来访人：“不知道我能见见你妈妈吗，小朋友。她有事吗？”
  小男孩：“订了婚没有? 她结了婚啦！”

[英语课]

    Mother (at dinner): "Johnny, I wish you'd stop reaching for things. Haven't you a tongue?"
   Johnny: "Yes, Mother, but my arm is longer."

   母亲（晚餐时）：“约翰尼，我希望你不要再伸手取吃的，你没有长舌头吗？”
   约翰尼：“我长了舌头的， 妈妈，但是我的手臂要长些。”

[英语课]

    Johnny: "Dad, the vicar says we are all here to help other."
     Dad: "That's right, Johnny."
     Johnny: "So what are the other for?"

     约翰尼：“爸爸，牧师说我们大家在这个世界上都要帮助别人。”
     爸   爸：“对，约翰尼。”
     约翰尼：“那别人干什么呢？”

[英语课]

    Teacher: "Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?"
    Matthew: "Very cold, sir."
    Teacher: "Wrong."
    Matthew: "But, sir, when they send us meat it always arrived frozen!"

    老师：“马修，新西兰的气候是怎么样的？”
    马修：“非常冷，先生。”
    老师：“错了。”
    马修：“可是，先生，他们给我们送来的肉总是冻的！”