Being a controlled but obligatedly obedient 7 y.o poor boy I was sent into my primary school by my father, who was always boosting how good this school was even currently while in effect this school did not even have 'baike'(the wiki in China's Internet) and only very few photos of itself, which indicated it was totally an unfamous pit tank.
At the first two years when I was rotting away in that school, I was not suffering a lot because back then I did not suffer from implicit and explicit disrespects and even humiliations until I graduated into Grade 3, iirc, when my 'class teacher' changed and she was a stringent but also amiable woman. Maybe because of her, or maybe because of the progressively concrete effects of China's toxic culture '人上人'(the most superior human) or both, the atmosphere of my class was rendered into that as if it were the 'Shubara', where I started to be disrespeted and condescended upon, for my hand-writing was becoming more and more hard on eyes, my academic performances were too 'not good', my writings were too rhetoric, etc., but mostly for I only did few housework for my parents and they voluntarily do them routinely for me which became my biggest laughing stock.
I remember for once my class and the other class boomed badly on the Chinese's mid-exam or something, and the two class teachers conspired a finesse that could impel us to score higher:
All of the students were required to be seated in the other class, watching every student who failed on this exam retrieve their scored test papers and obliged to stand in the back of the classroom, and the teachers asked them to cry and not until did they cry out they werer not allowed to be seated. We were also stomping when they were retrieving their papers(One of the two teachers said, since applause was the award for high scorers, stomping was the punishment for low scores). Unfortunately because of lack of adequate sympathy I also partook in that nonhumanly brutal disencouraging co-punishment. I also remember back then a boy who was always thought of one of the bravest boys all over the world so that he never cried, poured down his tears as the response to the two teachers' obligation which became one of the most lingering anecdotes in my life. One of the teacher also laughted at a boy's bad Retroflex at 'shi'(He twisted his tongue too exggeratedly when he pronounced this sound) when he retrieved his paper while being asked to stand in front of that teacher.
I was also very timid during my primary school. I was afraid of swimming and the coach colloborated two other girls to pour the pool water onto my face, calling me 'a lame hydrophobia boy'.
My graduation word card was torn into fragments for four times(iirc) because of my bad handwriting, days before my graduation ceremony.
I think the reason why I am suffering from Depression is that primary school and if this did not contribute to my Depression 100%, I'd say at least 90%. I had a lot of traumatic experiences about that school but my English is too bad so I've already consumed a lot of energies and got exhausted so I don't want to write more.
Btw, I wrote this post to quasi-practice my English as the second purpose and if someone was glad to assess it bring it on! I will be grateful!
Topic: Do you think the culprit of my MDD is my brutal primary school? (Read 1676 times)